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Post by charliesmom05 on Mar 5, 2012 9:53:18 GMT -6
okay, I updated my update on my original post, again. All is good. Thanks ladies for your comments. I agree with all of you
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Post by sharon on Mar 5, 2012 9:55:39 GMT -6
I'm relieved but a little disturbed. If these letters are intended mostly for parents who don't keep the schools informed, why don't the schools do a little research to find out I did keep the school informed every time? oh well, this weekend was a stressful one for no reason. ---------------------------------- I think that's a fair point and worth a follow up. I think it's fair to ask what procedure they might put in place to prevent these letters from going to families for whom they are not intended.
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Post by cissy on Mar 5, 2012 9:59:21 GMT -6
What I have heard from a school nurse is that if you have too many days that you call in sick and constantly take your kid out of school that they will get social services invold to make sure everything is ok and that your kid is actually really sick and that there are no home issues. I think that schools think that family vacations should happen on winter/spring break and during the summer.
As I grew up we did not take vacations during school, we would go away on the weekends but that was it we did not get out of school early we did not get to skip a day, the only time that we were late for school was if we had an appointment that could not get scheduled any other time because it was better to be late a little bit to school then skip a whole day so we had bright and early morning appointments. I have the same thought with my kids, they go to school every day and only not go if they can not be there all day. The one day my child did not go to school this year was becuase he had the runs and there was no way he could wait to use the bathroom or even make it there in time. He has had 7 and 8 am appointments and still made it to his bus in time.
Hopefully you get it figured out and your child stays healthy so you do not have to deal with it constantly.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Mar 5, 2012 10:05:49 GMT -6
I'm sorry but the easiest solution to not have to deal with this is to keep your kid in school as much as possible. I understand you have some differant circumstances ok fine but maybe just visit one side of the family one year and the other the other year.
I think you should be grateful that the school is doing that. It will help to make sure that the kids that are missing school for completely wrong reasons aren't slipping through the cracks. I was always skipping school in high school and I made really good grades I was a straight A student but I had a lot of family stuff going on and I guess in some ways I was crying for help but not one of my teachers or anyone from my school cared enough to ask me what was wrong or demand that I show up or face concequences. I know your son is just in elementary school but not all kids are lucky enough to have good parents.
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Post by charliesmom05 on Mar 5, 2012 11:03:18 GMT -6
I do agree that we shouldn't take ds out of school to visit both sides of the family as much. I have discussed this with dh and explained to him that his family all fly free on standby just as we do and they can come visit us during the school year from now on and we will try harder with visiting my mom since she had her stroke she won't travel further than 15 miles from home. We just REALLY wanted to go to the Gulf Shores in December while my in-laws were there... I'm not use to this cold weather, I love the ocean... But I know that has to stop now that ds is in school.
But my point is the same as many others on here, we are the parents of our ds, as long as he is doing better than good in school and as long as we are giving plenty of notice and keeping up with his school work, there shouldn't be any question whether its excused or not. I don't call my child out sick just for anything, I have been honest with the school and ds has only been sick twice and both days he felt well enough to attend school but the schools policy say if your child has a fever they need to stay home... Their choice, I didn't make that rule. On the other hand, I'm glad they don't want sick kids at school bc I wouldn't want my child to get sick bc of another child.
To each their own. raise your child the way you want, but don't criticize the ones who are good parents, who keep the schools informed. I think that somebody in the basement somewhere is just a little lazy and doesnt want to research which parents just don't care. I'm a parent who volunteers a couple times a month in the class, types and prints out stories the kids have been writing, buys everything the school sends home asking for money for; I'm there if they need me or want me.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Mar 5, 2012 12:10:58 GMT -6
Yes but your childs actual sick days wouldn't have come up as an issue had he not had so many other absences. Also You may volunteer and all that I am just saying the neglectful/abusive parents come in all shapes and forms. Maybe they knew it wasn't an issue but as you mentioned above it sounds like it is computer generated. I was just trying to say instead of getting so upset you should understand where the school is coming from. I understand you are the parent and you should be able to make the decisions about your DS but me personally, I try to make sure my boys are in school as much as possible. I just think we should be thankful for the school for watching out for patterns to try to start an intervention when it IS needed.
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Post by charliesmom05 on Mar 5, 2012 12:57:12 GMT -6
Okay, I hear where you are coming from, so maybe if the school needs to continue sending out these letters, they could rewrite them, or approach it in a different manner so it doesn't say I need doctors statements before my child comes back to school, since I didn't get the letter until Saturday. I was all worried something bad was going to happen, I was stressed most of the weekend wondering about all kinds of "what-ifs". Maybe the school could call... Maybe the teacher could have mentioned it to me on Thursday while I was at conference. I walked in to the principals office without the first doctors statement bc I couldn't get them over the weekend, I was worried that what I printed offline wouldn't be good enough and the very first thing the principal told me about my not having statements from the doctors bc it had been the weekend was, "oh thats fine, don't worry about it". don't worry about it? Then why did the letter I received in the mail say what it said and cause me to worry about it? Good for you for making sure your kids go to school everyday. We however live a different lifestyle that includes traveling to visit family and we will continue to do so one way or another. Maybe not so much to see those that can travel for free like we do, or those who can drive to us, but we will travel to my side of the family that lives 1200 miles away and cannot travel this far. And I will be better prepared in the future when the schools send notes home. I will also communicate even more with the schools, if that's even possible and make them understand that we live here because of my husbands job, but my family is also very important to us. As long as ds is excelling in school we will continue to travel, maybe even take him to DC for an educational experience. If at any time we see ds isn't doing as good as he can be doing we will deal with that when and if it happens.
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Post by bunsy on Mar 5, 2012 13:03:12 GMT -6
Form letters. They are sent automatically. No one makes the decision to send it. It is triggered, printed and someone just sends it. You are NEW at school. Just relax. Similarly, a teacher may discipline an entire class when only a couple students misbehave. That bothers me MUCH more than the school sending me a letter. It breaks childrens' spirits.
Do what you know is right for DS and for your family. The school will just have to find a way to survive.
DS2 missed 38 days of school as a 7th grader. We DID get those letters. We DID have to meet with the school counselor and he was required to see the school psychologist. He did have an anxiety issue that we had to begin to address. The WORST thing that could happen is that you are referred to truancy court but that would be highly doubtful. Even if you were referred, your explanations and evidence of DS's grades would get the case closed quickly.
Relax.
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Post by charliesmom05 on Mar 5, 2012 15:31:54 GMT -6
relax... funny, I am relaxed. I was just a bit upset. and bc im "new to school" i should understandably be allowed to be upset, imo. the signature on the paper was a fresh, non copied, non stamped signature so it did not get mailed without someone knowing it, but thank you for that idea.
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Post by cissy on Mar 5, 2012 17:52:54 GMT -6
Maybe the schools have that same letter for everyone to cover their own butts. What if they did not send it to a child and then found out a year later that the entire year before that kid was getting beaten or starving of food because nobody was watching them those days, maybe it is done that way to make sure that things are covered and they want to make sure that it isn't a custody issue with the child being at one house and that parent not getting the child to school. THere are plenty of reasons for things to happen and for that one letter to go out but the school is doing what they are supposed to do.
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Post by charliesmom05 on Mar 5, 2012 19:15:05 GMT -6
okey-dokey.... I'm not fighting this. I posted a vent and shared my feelings.
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Post by angel22 on Mar 5, 2012 20:09:06 GMT -6
LOL! Sorry, I read this thread and really thought that you were looking for advice, not just venting. Bottom line, you pull your kid out of school for anything and you have to deal with the school and the policies it puts forward. Don't like it, change schools or explore other options. Travel is more important than your child being in school? Fine, home school or use tutors or online schooling or whatever. There are options out there and I think everyone here was trying to help you see that you seem to be overreacting. No one is passing judgement and if you were just "venting" as you now say and you DIDN'T want any advice, you should have just put that in the OP and not responded to the advice others offered. No need to change your tone to Bunsy. By the by, I'm not trying to be bitchy here, though I know it will be read that way. Sorry for that.
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Post by charliesmom05 on Mar 6, 2012 9:59:10 GMT -6
Okay well let's see. I believe I'm allowed to vent. And if you want bitchy I can give you a taste of it. There are some women on here who have nothing better to do with their days then to take another's post and make drama out of it. In the very beginning of this post I was looking for advice and I received some good advice and some even agreed with me. But then MY post turned in to a vent. I do not recall asking for advice in my updates. Time and time again, you are one member who won't leave my posts alone, I can name a few others but they know who they are. I'm done backing down and trying to be nice on here. I think you are an online bitch and have nothing better to do with your day. And I'm sure Bunsy can stick up for herself, but then you ladies do stick together and put your noses where they don't belong. If you want to post on my post, by all means go for it. Give it your best shot. Bitch all you want. I'm well aware I can home school my child. Do you not ever get frustrated about anything? Oh no I guess not bc then you wouldn't have the right to say the things to me that you say. So just get over yourself.
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Post by angel22 on Mar 6, 2012 10:18:24 GMT -6
*snerk*
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Post by cissy on Mar 6, 2012 11:08:27 GMT -6
Just an FYI if I am one of those OTHER people......You have NOT seen me in person, I am much better online then I can be in person, you would not want to mess with me. It is a GOOD thing we are on opposite sides of the cities.
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