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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Feb 29, 2012 12:24:14 GMT -6
Ok, so I need some help on how to handle this situation. It's a ways out, and I may not even need to worry about it, but some friendly Mommy advice would be appreciated My uncle is engaged, they set their wedding date for September 8th. Which just so happens to be 4 days after my due date. My feeling is baby will arrive on the 3rd (that weird intuition thingy lol) which means we'll be able to attend. Now...here comes the BS. Apparently, his future wifey told my step-dad, to tell my mom, to tell me, (yeah that's right the biotch couldn't even tell me herself) that I'm not "allowed" to breastfeed at her wedding because her family doesn't think it's appropriate. And that if I want to, I'd have to go to the bathroom. Now...here's the big kicker. The wedding is on a BOAT! Which means the bathroom is probably the size of a tin can. Meaning I'll have to litterally sit on a dirty, nasty, piss filled toilet seat to feed my child. Now some of you know I'm pretty strong willed, and I've already decided there's no way in h3ll I'm going to do that, nor am I going to pump and bring a bunch of bottles along just to go bad. But I don't know how to nicely tell her, or her family, that regardless of their thoughts on breastfeeding, it's the way God intended for me to feed my child and I will do it. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that her family is like, protistant catholic or something...like super duper bible bumpers (not trying to offend anyone, just saying they're VERY catholic). So I have to ask, if that's the case, why on earth would they think it's ok to shove someone in a tin can to feed their child? Now, let's all face it, there are proper and improper ways to feed in public...so just a little assurance, I will be very respectful about it proper. TIA for any advice you can give me on how to tell this woman I'm not breastfeeding my child in a bathroom.
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Post by betherin on Feb 29, 2012 12:27:44 GMT -6
Ooo...that would really piss me off too! Just to be defiant I would probably go and bf without a cover even. Ha! Seriously though, you should just call her and say either you are able to feed your newborn the way god intended or you won't be going.
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Post by supermommy on Feb 29, 2012 12:28:38 GMT -6
Umm just do it...just breastfeed the baby, what're they gonna do kick you off the boat? Lmao. They have ZERO right to tell you what to do. Do they OWN the boat? Even if they do..again who cares. If it were me I would tell them to jump off the boat if they don't like it.
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Post by sharon on Feb 29, 2012 12:29:56 GMT -6
I would say just that. "I got your message, but I needed to let you know that I'm not willing to eat in a bathroom, nor to have my child do the same." If it were me I would also add, "We'll stay home. I hope it's a lovely day."
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Feb 29, 2012 12:30:45 GMT -6
I really like that "I'm not willing to eat in the bathroom" thing! lol
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Post by bunsy on Feb 29, 2012 12:34:15 GMT -6
"I'm sorry it upsets you. Excuse me, my baby is hungry." I probably wouldn't go though. Being on a boat with a tiny newborn and a bunch of people sounds unpleasant to me.
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Post by sharon on Feb 29, 2012 12:35:58 GMT -6
Or I'd call her and say "I got a very through-the-grapevine message that said that you feel it's inappropriate for children to eat outside of bathrooms. But that just didn't sound right, so I thought I'd just give you a chance to say whatever you were trying to say ."
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Post by bunsy on Feb 29, 2012 12:37:04 GMT -6
Oh snap Sharon!
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Post by love on Feb 29, 2012 12:38:06 GMT -6
WTF is all I have to say!!!!!!!!
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Post by cissy on Feb 29, 2012 12:52:15 GMT -6
I would sit in the front row and feed my child while the service was going on, let it out there and known what was going on, or if they were not a big part of the family I wouldn't go. Either way I never fed a child in the bathroom and I wouldn't start.
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Post by gwensmama9206 on Feb 29, 2012 13:07:54 GMT -6
Haha Cissy... that's awesome
Tell em to shove it! Would she rather have you feeding your baby or have the baby screaming the whole time because her and her family doesn't think it's appropriate to feed him?? What is with people thinking breastfeeding is so inappropriate?!? Pretty sure it's why we have boobs! F@&%in suck it up! It's not like you're going to be like "Hey! Look at my boob!" lol Ugh some peoples offspring, I tell ya.
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Post by dara1012 on Feb 29, 2012 13:10:46 GMT -6
Or I'd call her and say "I got a very through-the-grapevine message that said that you feel it's inappropriate for children to eat outside of bathrooms. But that just didn't sound right, so I thought I'd just give you a chance to say whatever you were trying to say ." Love it! I know it is tough but I probably wouldn't go to an event on a boat with a baby less than a few weeks old....this is going to have to be your call, but when DS was 3 days old my aunt and uncle had a really big celebration for their 50th birthdays. We are super close to my aunt and uncle and I felt badly not going, but there was going to be music and lots of people and folding chairs/bar stools to sit. We brought DS to their house before the party to meet family but I wasn't comfortable breastfeeding in public yet (I still needed at least one person to help me get him to latch on right). I personally dislike events on boats b/c I can't leave if I want (or if my child is disruptive) - newborns are so unpredictable. If you do decide to go I would breastfeed wherever YOU feel comfortable, that request is ridiculous!
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Post by fungirls on Feb 29, 2012 13:12:54 GMT -6
I love Sharon's response. I would probably not go, or just do it. It's not their place to say and who cares. Find a comfortable, not obvious place and cover up. Goodness, what's the big deal?
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Feb 29, 2012 13:43:22 GMT -6
Let me clarify....the boat will NOT be moving. It will be stationed at the dock so people can get on/off whenever. Which is nice, but at the same time...it's not like there will be other bathrooms or places besides a public park to do this at.
Sharon, I do like your response. And I probably should just bring it up directly with her. She's being more and more of a bridezilla. She wants to take the flower girl dresses I had at my wedding and TOTALLY alter them for the kids in hers...which pisses me off because 1. they were only $35 and 2. I had them specially altered for my wedding...someone spent time and dedication on them and I don't want her using them! lol
My uncle is a big part of my life, so it's not like I don't want to go. He is very happy with this woman and I want to support him in that, but I also want to support my child.
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Post by sharon on Feb 29, 2012 13:46:29 GMT -6
You could point out to her that Jesus was likely breastfed - they didn't have artificial milk back then, only wet nurses.
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