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Post by alipski on Jun 18, 2012 18:38:20 GMT -6
Hi everyone, I just wanted to pop on a say hello. I haven't been very social, even with my online friends these days. Feeling really down and overwhelmed. I wanted to say hi to the newbies since MLM crossed over to here and say I'm thinking of you to those I knew before.
My Mom had a bad fall in January, she fell down the basement steps in her home to a cement floor and hit her head. She got a concussion. She's diabetic and has nerve damage in her feet and legs which just got worse for some reason after the fall. She kept having moments of her legs just giving out. The dr. attributed it to her nerve damage. Little did we know it then but these were the symptoms of a 100% blocked carotid artery. We know this know because on April 1st she suffered a massive stroke. (about a month and a half after her Mother passed away from Breast Cancer. We were pulled into the other room by her Dr. at St. Joes and told she wouldn't make it. If she did they would be very surprised and we had to think about whether or not they should resuscitate if anything were to happen in the next day or so. She asked to to please think about quality of life when making this decision. I am so very close to my Mom that I was in shock and devastated. Fast foward to today. She is still with us and has gone from St. Joes to Bethesda for rehab to a transition care unit at a nursing home. She has no function in the left side of her body as of yet, but we are hopeful she may walk (with assistance) again one day. At this porint we just hope she will one day come home and not have to live in the nursing home for the rest of her life. She will never have feeling or use of her left arm. (which is especially challenging as she is left handed). My Mom just less than a month ago turned 64 and is young! She is beautiful, fashionable, loved to shop, loved her job, she was always on the go, always there for me and my kids. She still has her wit and sense of humor, she's "with it" and remembers a lot, however she now has this childlike quality about her and she's not the same person. It's hard to mourn the loss of her and have a new her. It's been just as hard watching my Dad since this happened. He is so depressed. He is by her side every day morning till evening. He misses his wife, he misses their life, he is lonely at home and at night. He's a quiet guy but a teddy bear and it's so hard to see him so down. He tries to be positive around her but it's taking it's toll on him. I spend most my time taking care of my family, taking care of both of their laundry, visiting Mom, cleaning up at Dad's, preparing the house to either be sold or renovated for Mom to come home. I'm sad and I miss my Mom. My kids miss her. My 4 year old is a little scared of her because of how different she is and I don't blame her but it breaks my heart that their bond has changed. My husband is amazing but I notice I am so concerned about taking care of Mom and Dad that I've been a little out of it when it comes to he and I. Luckily, we talk a lot and he knows I am doing my best to spread myself among everyone and is very supportive. I haven't mentioned her stroke on this site yet because I don't stay online long enough to go over it all, but today, I just needed to talk about her and thought of you all and thought I would share what I've been going through. Maybe I should have put this in "prayer requests", but, would you all say a prayer for my Mom's recovery and my Dad's emotional well being? Don't ever take your loved ones for granted. You always think the worst thing ever would be to have them die, and I am sure it is but what happens when they almost die and are still here but never the same again? I never considered this before....
Hope everyone has a safe and fun summer. I check in on here and read when I can. Just wanted to say hi and let you know I am not a total b-word who only comes once every so often for advice. Take care!
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Post by bunsy on Jun 18, 2012 18:45:38 GMT -6
I'm so sorry! That is such a difficult situation. Sending good vibes your way.
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Post by ladyandrearose on Jun 18, 2012 19:06:38 GMT -6
I'm sorry to hear all this. Prayers coming your way!
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Post by dara1012 on Jun 18, 2012 20:29:43 GMT -6
I have been thinking about you....I will pray for your mom, your dad, you and your family. You will get through this.
If you get the time and feel like sneaking out for wine, margarita, coffee or whatever you need, let me know I live close by or if you want to meet a park one evening for the kiddos to play.
Hang in there....hugs!
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Post by sarahisis on Jun 18, 2012 21:03:03 GMT -6
I've been thinking about you too!! continued prayers and thoughts for you and your family!! And it goes for me too... if you ever need a emotional break... lemme know and I can meet ya, w/ or w/o kids!!
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Post by AuntSueto4 on Jun 18, 2012 21:12:08 GMT -6
So sorry to hear...
[[[HHHUUUGGGSSS]]] to your Mom & Dad, you, and rest of your family.
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Post by alipski on Jun 18, 2012 21:32:36 GMT -6
Thank you VERY much! Sarah and Dara, I do want to do that. Let's make it happen in the next few weeks. Lot's of parks in our area. Thanks for the love. ;-)
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Post by sharon on Jun 19, 2012 4:43:33 GMT -6
Oh wow, saying prayers here for health and strength for ALL of you! I'm glad to let us know what's been going on. Please keep us posted to whatever extent you feel able. It's always good to hear from you.
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Post by jlschlangen on Jun 19, 2012 7:01:38 GMT -6
Prayers to you & your family. Take care.
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Post by laurac on Jun 19, 2012 7:21:19 GMT -6
I've been thinking about you. I know how hard it was to lose your Grandma and now it's like another death losing the Mom you knew. I can't even imagine. I'm thankful your DH is so supportive and you're correct in that you need to take some time for just him. Try to plan a date night. Do you have siblings who can take care of your folks for a weekend? So you can spend a whole weekend with just your family? Spoil your DH a little?
{{Hugs }} to you, Amy
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Post by bumblebee23 on Jun 19, 2012 8:15:14 GMT -6
so sorry you are having such a tough year. I understand what you mean about your mom not really being your mom anymore. My mom was one way and then started abusing drugs and was eventually diagnosed as a schitzophrenic and after that she just seemed like a shell of the person she used to be and it was often really sad to be around her. I am so sorry you are having to go through that too. It breaks your heart in so many ways because you haven't lost her but at the same time you have lost the person you knew. ((((HUGZ))))
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Jun 19, 2012 8:49:56 GMT -6
Many prayers for you through this situation. Prayers for your kids, for you, for your husband, your parents, for all of them. I pray for the people caring for her that they are kind and loving and giving her everything she needs. Prayers for the hospitals running the tests, doing whatever they need to do to ensure her care. Prayers that the doctors have hope in this still. I especially pray for your mom. That SHE has hope through this, and that through all things, no matter where God takes her in life, that she is just loved upon. I pray for your Dad as well, that he sees light through the darkness, that grief not overcome him, that God can show him his plan for the both of them and one day the kingdom will reign on them both.
So sorry that you're going through all of this. May your family just be blessed through it all, and know that God has his plan for a reason. Lots of love and of course (((((HUUUGS)))))
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Post by lilmermaid on Jun 19, 2012 8:56:37 GMT -6
Hugs and prayers coming your way!
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Post by jrose on Jun 19, 2012 9:00:18 GMT -6
So sorry about your rough year! Hugs to you!!
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Post by alipski on Jun 20, 2012 7:17:36 GMT -6
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