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Post by doeeyedgirl on Nov 30, 2012 9:17:40 GMT -6
7 months. It has now been 7 months of hoping, praying, believing it is so, only to be greeted with the crushing disappointment that yet another month has gone by that I am not pregnant. *Disclaimer: I know that some people try for years. I know that some people aren't as lucky as I to have two beautiful children. I am very thankful that I have them.* I just don't get it. My last two were conceived while I was ON birth control. My first, I wasn't taking it as timely as I should. My second, I was on antibiotics. And now when I finally get to plan and try and want and wish and pray, it doesn't happen. What am I doing wrong? Why does it seem like things happen so unfairly? I feel like I am letting DH down. This will be our first child together and his first child. *Disclaimer: The words that have caused me to grimace lately are these: "It will happen when it is supposed to happen", "Quit planning and just let it happen", "Everything happens for a reason"* Really? I know all these things. I hate hearing them, whether they be true or not. Be angry with me. Be sad with me. Give me good solid advice. Or just open your ears and listen. I guess this is just as it is: a vent. I am tired of being disappointed. I am tired of my body delaying my period (as I have always been on right to the day) and getting my hopes up. I am tired of my period raging once I do get it and feeling like my insides are being ripped from my body. All I want is a baby to hold and to love and for me and DH to call our own. I have decided that I will be making a doctor appointment once my week of suffering is over, to see if there is something wrong with me. DH refuses to go in and says "It will happen if it is supposed to happen." I'm just not ok with that response. Thanks for listening to me, ladies. I know I vent a lot here, but mostly I guess this just helps me get it all out. If I try to talk about it, I just end up crying and I'm not a pretty crier.
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Post by quirky22 on Nov 30, 2012 9:21:54 GMT -6
First, I'm confused....I thought you didn't want anymore kids..... Second, I know exactly what you're going through!! It took me 9 months to get pregnant this time.....I know you don't wanna hear it, but it will happen when it's supposed to....I felt the EXACT same way you are now.....hang in there, check your mucus, and do "it" often!!! (when I got pregnant, we did it 5 days out of 5 days I was ovulating, and for us this was a record! Good Luck!
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Nov 30, 2012 9:26:55 GMT -6
I had waivered back and forth when DH and I were having issues with MIL and had some bumps in our relationship. Deep down I knew I wanted to, but just knew that the timing wasn't right. Sometimes I try to talk myself into things. I know it's odd, but I have a tendency to sometimes be a very indecisive person. LOL
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Post by deannemdm on Nov 30, 2012 9:27:17 GMT -6
If you were able to get pregnant without trying previously, there is a good chance it is not you-- you seem plenty fertile-- I really think DH needs to get checked out and if he doesn't want to, you may need to explain that it may not ever happen if he doesn't. Good luck!
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Post by bunsy on Nov 30, 2012 9:27:26 GMT -6
Vent away! I remember vividly those months of "trying". Whether it's been 3 months or 3 years, it is still painful each time Aunt Flo rages instead. There is nothing helpful to say. I'm sorry. Keep plugging away. A doctor's visit will never hurt. If you're irregular, maybe regulating that will help.
I wish you good baby luck!
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Post by laurac on Nov 30, 2012 9:28:14 GMT -6
Ears are open and listening, my friend. {hugs}
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Post by healerarina on Nov 30, 2012 9:44:36 GMT -6
I know it sucks, it took me a year and a half to get pregnant with dd2. I randomly got pregnant with dd1 it seemed. It does suck every month you miss.
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Nov 30, 2012 9:57:16 GMT -6
I think the worst part is that my anxiety fuels my brain at that point. Like I feel like I am doing something wrong. Or something is terribly wrong with my body. Or maybe I shouldn't have yelled at my kids that day. Or I shouldn't have said that about that person. Or maybe I am being punished for this or for that. I know that isn't it. I know that it is all in God's will and that it will happen when the time is right for us, but I just can't help to have those thoughts go randomly through my mind.
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Post by dara1012 on Nov 30, 2012 10:02:00 GMT -6
I have been there and know how hard it is. I agree w/ Deanne that since you have not had fertility problems, there is a chance that it is DH (or everything could be fine and timing just hasn't worked).
I am sorry you are dealing with this. It is so hard to struggle and feel like everyone around you is getting pregnant and you aren't. Hugs!
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Nov 30, 2012 10:05:13 GMT -6
Even Meredith on Grey's Anatomy is pregnant for Pete's sake! And she has a hostile uterus! LOL! (Last night's episode spoiler) Thanks for letting me vent ladies. It really is theraputic for me. Oh and I will babysit for all you mamas of babies any time you want!
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Post by cissy on Nov 30, 2012 10:08:35 GMT -6
What about if you were to go on birthcontrol for a 1 to 3 months to regulate your cycle again and then try?
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Post by smalltowngirl5 on Nov 30, 2012 10:25:44 GMT -6
Vent away, it always makes me feel better! I agree a doctor's appointment never hurts. I remember those days all to well. Good luck.
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Post by deannemdm on Nov 30, 2012 11:51:14 GMT -6
going off brith control pills leaves you extra fertile from what I have read (your body hasn't been exposed to the hormonal fluctuations). Both times for me (age 29 and age 37) I went off and 6 weeks later was pregnant. But htat only works if it is you. Good luck and realize more and more that I was lucky to have things happen so easily. Hugs and prayers.
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Post by sarahisis on Nov 30, 2012 12:07:43 GMT -6
I would try and talk DH into going to talk to his doctor... he's probably embarrased but if he wants a baby, he should be willing to do what it takes.
I've heard that about the bc pill too.. if you go on it for a couple months, then off it... it may help your chances.
good luck
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Post by bumblebee23 on Nov 30, 2012 14:42:24 GMT -6
So sorry to hear you are having trouble getting pg. Interesting that you got pg on birth control because I did as well BOTH times. I didn't know you had to take it the same time every day until wayyyy after DS2 was born. With DS2 we were also using condums because I didn't want to chance getting pg....well guess what happened yup both the pill and the condum failed us! LOL
Anyway. You are making yourself crazy. You need to try and relax your mind. I know it's hard because I suffer from anxiety too and I get those crazy thoughts shooting through my head a lot too. However, I have heard stress doesn't help when you are trying to get pg. Read a book or take the kids on an outing and just try and calm yourself.
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