Not Letting a Child Have Barbies?

[outdoorsmommy]

I am curious on other peoples opinions on this one.....I have a 4 1/2 girl in my daycare and her mom will not let her have any barbies at home? She can play with at my house her mom said that is fine but barbies are not allowed in her house. I have asked her mom a reasoning behind this (thinking it was something very important to her) but she has no reason she just does not like them. This little girl gets so sad that she can't have any barbies of her own it hurts me.
Is there anyone else that thinks this way and if so I just want to know reasoning. It just breaks my heart hearing her so sad about this.

[mattbenmom]

I know of parents who don't let their children play withBarbies because of the unrealistic body image it sets for women. But if she has nireason to give you it seems like a power struggle for no reason. IDK

[apryllraye87]

My mom didn't like barbies because of the unrealistic image, but she still let me have them.

The mom may have a reason that she just doesn't want to share for fear of being ridiculed.

[kristin8888]

A friend of mine won't let her daughter get barbies either but she will allow bratz dolls.... I think that is a little backwards but its what she want for her child.

[cakemakermom]

I don't understand allowing Bratz but not Barbie. Barbie does not have such horrible proportions like she did in the 80's. They're more normal now. Plus Barbie has had over 100 different careers.
Bratz didn't have jobs as far as I saw and were dressed less than desirable for my taste.

But to each their own...

[kristin8888]

Yep I completely agree with you cake. There are many things this friend of mine does that I don't agree with so this is just one of them.

[bumblebee23]

I agree with you too cake! I have seen those Bratz dolls and they look just like their name....and sluty versions of them too. I don't see anything wrong with Barbie, I mean ok the body image may be concerning to some parents but come on. When I was younger my Barbie could be anything I wasn't worried about how she looked I was playing and I could be whatever I wanted to be.

[gwensmama9206]

My only reason for not getting DD babrie stuff right now is all those damn little pieces. My kitties will for sure get to them and they'll end up all over the apt. Not dealing with that. My grandma kept AAALLLLL of my old barbie stuff and wants to give it to DD once we get a bigger place.

I hate those Bratz dolls!! They look like cheap whores! Ick! I'm glad DD has never been interested in them!

[JazzyMaxie]

I have an opinion, and I will be happy to share it, but I don’t think that you will like it.

As parents, we all make choices as to what we want for ourselves, our children, and our families. Some things many people will agree with. Some things, not so much. I am notorious for making choices that people don’t agree with. And, as far as I am concerned, I am making the best choices for my son. I have learned by experience that when people ask for an explanation for my choices, they are inviting themselves to share their opinions with me. And personally, I don’t care to hear their opinions. My mind is made up, and I don’t really feel the need or desire to discuss my choices with anyone else. They don’t have to understand my choices, and I don’t have to understand theirs.

I think that it is cool that the Mom allows her daughter to play with the barbies while she is at your home. It doesn’t put you in an awkward position of having to tell the little girl that she can’t play with them and the other kids can…or taking them away from all kids because you don’t want the little girl’s feelings to be hurt. This little girl is going to have to learn that her Mom’s choices may not always be the popular ones, and she is not always going to be happy. I think that daycare is a great opportunity to encounter this situation, and you can help her understand and process her feelings and encourage her to continue to respect her Mom’s choices. This is a teachable moment for her. You can make a huge impact on her childhood! I hope that it can turn in to a positive experience!

[elizac]

Agree with what Jazzy said. And, it is not so bad if the child is feeling sad. In life they will encounter so many situations where they won't always get what they want or like.

[sharon]

I have known many families that do not allow Barbies. And I also get letting her at someone else's house. I'm like that with some things. We don't allow guns, for instance, but when my son was playing with a friend who had Lego guns I let it go. I figured one time wasn't going to do much, at least it wasn't a habit. And I felt like stopping the play when that was what the other kid had with him and what he was doing was just going to be rude and awkward.
Now if he was going over to that other boys house, I probably would just let it go and figure we'd have them over to our house at least as much - and no guns. Or video games. We don't do video games, or haven't yet. I guess it's not really a rule, but just not something I'm interested in letting into our house. But when we were at a party and the kids were playing some Mario game I didn't say anything and let Ian play it.
Haven't dealt with the Barbie thing. I LOVED Barbies when I was a kid. I probably would be OK with it, although I see the concern.

[sarahisis]

I love Barbies.. I don't think I'd have an issue w/ having them if I had a girl... I always wanted the holiday barbies and the princess barbies when I was little. I had the old school ones.. with all the random teensy pieces that go with it lol
I think if you teach a little girl about body image early on, playing with a skinny barbie isn't going to effect her too much. That "skinny is beautiful" image is everywhere.. movies, cartoons, tv shows, magazines, billboards.. w/ a bit of relief, the "average" size girl is making its presence known through the media as well!

[babyscute]

I don't allow them for DD because of how skinny and unrealistic they are. DD is hispanic. In the regular cheap barbies all I usually see is the blonde haired blue eyed barbies. There are a few brunettes but not usually. They need to vary their ethnicities in the cheaper barbies and not just have them in the collector barbies. They also should have barbies with different body types. I don't think barbie really teaches anything realistic. The toy was actually evolved from a man's play toy brought from Germany. It was basically like a blow up doll but smaller. I prefer DD plays with other dolls. And I will tell you when I started puberty I could not stand barbie. I chopped their hair off and other stuff due to none of them looked like me.

[ReneeW]

Personally, I have mixed feelings about Barbie dolls. On the one hand, I can't help but think, "Don't do it! Unrealistic body images! Skin-tight outfits! If Barbie was a real person her lungs would collapse and she couldn't walk! Mattel once had Barbie saying, 'Math is hard!' They're white-centric! Enough with the gender stereotypes!!" etc.

THEN the other side of me is saying, "You played with Barbies and never had a body image problem/eating disorder/ etc." and "The message you give your DDs about their worth as women, the power and ability in their bodies and minds, is MUCH more powerful than the time they spend playing with these particular dolls."

I have never purchased a Barbie for my DDs, but other people have. They don't have a ton of Barbies, just a few, and I try to make sure if I'm playing with them that my Barbie is a banker, CEO, teacher, scientist, chemist, etc. I think in some ways our kids have it easier because there are so many positive roles models in their lives. My best friend is an attorney, my sister is an emergency room physician, my kids' former nanny recently joined the army, I used to be a TV photojournalist ... so I believe that these real-life women trump Barbie's influence in a snap.

Love this discussion, BTW!!!

[sharon]

I think you are right - if your child has many models and life experiences of diverse, smart and strong women, have a few doll is not going to erase that. I remember someone I know having this experience with her daughter, who is now grown. They had avoided the Barbie thing, but then at some point someone bought her one. Then, a second, and then a kid. I remember the mom telling me she thought all her worst fears about Barbie were coming true when the daughter said she "needed a Ken." The mom was thinking - oh no, she things thinks women need a man, etc. But when she asked why the little girl said, "The moms both go to work, and they need to hire a nanny to take care of the kid." That was what she wanted the Ken for. The mom felt better!