How do you & your hubby divide household "chores"?

[sweetpeamom25]

My hubby and I are always in disagreement over how and when to clean things--bathrooms, swiffer the floors, vacuum, etc. We've kind of tried dividing things up, but usually it's him that doesn't do his share...this obviously causes conflict! I'm trying to compromise on how clean our house should be, but I'm also trying to find some sort of routine that will work for both of us. I don't want to always have to remind him to do things and I shouldn't have to do it all myself. What works for you? Is wanting a clean bathroom too much to ask?!!

[sarahisis]

That's pretty funny that you ask that because I was chatting about this with some ladies last night....

I think some things are a lost cause... and I don't even battle them anymore... things like; not throwing away wrappers and leaving them on the counter, or not rinsing out a bowl or glass, or leaving cups throughout the house and always getting a new one....

with that said, My hubby and I have recently had the discussion that there are things that he could do that would really help me....
those are unloading the dishwasher... I will load dirty ones though...
putting away all of his folded and sorted laundry... still working on this one
taking out the garbage... he's always been pretty good with this one
and occasionally washing the wood floors by hand because they get gross with two dogs and a kid.

I usually take care of the dusting...buying dusting wet wipes helps the process go faster, and I typically do the bathrooms too, though if I ask, he will help (we have three).

my hubby actually asked if I could write down what I want him to do and when it should be done... lol

like... dishes put away from dishwasher (check occasionally, I'm not going to ask anymore)
put away laundry (im not going to sort and fold more til what's in bin is put away)
garbage when full



good luck... this is no easy task!! lol

[doeeyedgirl]

I was in on this conversation with Sarah. Sometimes you have to learn to pick and choose the battle. I am still working on this myself. It's a hard thing to do!

I have learned that if I want something done, I either have to ask or do it myself. Most men's brains don't function like ours. "Oh, the garbage is full, I should take it out". It is rare you will hear this from a man. It more sounds like, "I wonder how much more I could shove in here if I try to squish it?" LOL!

Unfortunately, mine and my husband's view of clean are not the same either. He is comfortable leaving a trashed house until Friday (He works 4 - 10 hour shifts and is home on Friday). Myself, I can't stand coming home, leaving or sleeping in a dirty home. Ruins my mood.

I wish I had more words of wisdom on this matter, but I am thinking that the majority of us are in the same boat. You have to decide where your limit is and how to handle that. Sometimes it's easier and less frustrating to do these ourselves knowing that things will be completed in a better fashion this way. If you are dead set on him having an equal share, then it sounds like a sit-down conversation is due. Explain to him why this bothers you and why your standards are as they are.

[cakemakermom]

Since I stay at home, I do the majority of the chores. He'll help me with dishes (or even do them on his own if he's annoyed enough) because I just hate that chore. The bathroom only gets cleaned once every couple of months or when I'm expecting company or when I'm annoyed with how dirty the bowl is.

I'll say that I'm not the best of cleaning women, but when I do clean it is clean, not just kinda clean.

He's in charge of the garbages because he passes it every morning on his way out so I don't have to leave the building more than necessary.

The rest of the cleaning is pretty much up to me.

I find that having a conversation about it helps both to know what needs to be done by who and when. If you don't want to be cleaning everything, don't complain about how he cleans or he'll never do it. If you go in and clean up after his cleaning, he won't even bother and it'll become an issue between you two.

[supermommy]

bwahahahahaha....wait, some couples split up chores??!!

[healerarina]

We each have chores, he does bathrooms and litter box. It is his job to remove garbage and recycle from the house. I make him put away his laundry, I I'll wash and fold it, but that is it. If I ask him nicely, he may vacuum a room or two, or unload the dishwasher. He just doesn't like our new vacuum, and I love it. Men....

I pretty much take care of the rest of the chores since I stay at home. Now that DD2 is mobile, DH will watch the kids so I can, clean , which is helpful, but on occasion I wish I could play while he cleans. Again, Men......

Oh, and I have to mow the lawn/do yard work due to his allergies. If he does it he will feel terrible for several days and help out less. Thankfully, we have a small yard. Now only if I could find someone to remove some weeds/bushes/roots from the landscaping in our yard for practically free, I would pay, but can't afford much.

[deannemdm]

I must be pretty lucky....but of course I am comfortable with clutter. He learned to clean in the Navy so When he cleans he does a better job then I do. I just try to make it a little better.
Usually I will take care of kitchen floor, cleaning the bathrooms, laundry, scheduling kids activities and appointments (he will help drive sometimes). We split dishes (dishwasher) pretty much. He takes out trash and recycling, puts away his clothes, a lot of the cooking and buying groceries and paying all the bills. I do most of childcare (he works rotating 12 hour shifts)-- he comes and goes as he wants pretty often-- while I check with him or at least tell him if/when I go somewhere.

[swood9]

My oh is a sahd so he usually does the daily stuff like dishes and picking up. On my days off, I try a d get the big stuff done for him, but I'm the same where I really need the house to be in good shape before I can relax. I usually do have to do a bit of delegating, though. He's pretty good about it, although he does hem and haw sometimes.

[nevaehsmom327]

ugh. i have this battle all the time. i still have no advice. sorry. best of luck to us all on this one! haha

[sharon]

No hubby in our family but my wife and I go with our strengths and our likes/hates. I HATE emptying the dishwasher and she HATES cleaning the bathroom, while luckily neither of us mind the other one. So we made a deal on that one.
We both do laundry. She does more organizing and clutter control b/c she is much better at it and I am SO grateful. She will often break it down for me and make a pile of my things that I need to put away.
I do all the grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking.
We both do floors, often dividing and conquering or just whoever gets to it first. We both clean up the kitchen and dining room together after meals.
I scoop the litter box and take out the garbage. She does the recycling.

[ReneeW]

When my DH and I first lived together, we were both working equal, full time jobs and so we divvied the housework evenly, 50-50. That was a great precedent to set. Now, 12 years later, I work 1/2 to 3/4 time and he works full time, so I do more of the daily stuff. I'm so grateful that he agrees to alternate whose week it is to do the main weekly cleaning (in fact, he's doing it right now as I type! Hah!). I do most of the laundry, 95% of the cooking, grocery shopping, a mid-week light cleaning. He does 95% of the yard work and bill paying. I do more of the kid driving/ play dates/ planning stuff. So I have to say I'm really appreciative of him and that he really helps out. But -- the key for us is that we started the equal share of work from Day 1 and have adapted as work schedules have changed.

[jlschlangen]

I have this battle mostly when I want to entertain. He does all the outside work. I do all the inside work. I would love for him to do more inside, but b/c I stay at home he feels I should do it. I do 98% of the cooking too. If we go on trips I am the one to get everything lined up & packed.

[cwolbeck]

Haha being a stay at home mom I get yelled at if the house doesn't look perfect when the hubby gets home. So no advice, he suggests getting a maid, but since I do all the bills he doesn't realize we can't afford that either. I just have to rush to get things presentable for when he gets home. It sounds a little 1950's but I guess I gotta make him happy.

[megan1201]

DH is wonderful with helping out. He does the dishes 95% of the time, he will wash and dry laundry, but I have to fold/hang and put away. He takes out the garbage and recycling and sweeps and swiffers, I vaccum. We split cooking pretty evenly, we love to cook together when we can. He does all the grilling though. I pay the bills and do most of the little organizing because when he does it he goes by "out of sight, out of mind" and everything is just shoved into a closet lol. He is really good about getting stuff done when I ask though.

[colleen]

We pretty much do every other time with dishes. If one cooks, the other does the dishes. He does the bathroom, although once a month maybe, which is fine with me. We vaccum when it gets ridiculous with dog hair and it's usually whoever decides to do it. He always does the garbage (a man job he says). We both hate dusting, so that happens when company comes over or if i'm overzealous! We pretty much work together on it. Of course we have our own pet peeves and argue, but for the most part we do it as team. lol It is not one versus the other. And he won't let me touch his laundry. lol