Need to vent or I will explode!!!! Updated 2/24/12

[jess7882]

Some of you know that my hubby was laid off on 11/29. His former company SUCKS A**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It will be 4 weeks tomorrow...and he is still "active" according to some of the departments notifications. We can't cash out his stock plan or get his PTO ALL of which was supposed to be on his last check which was on the 14th. He has been on the phone most days dealing with their VERY unorganized HR department. We were also supposed to be able to cash out his 401K but that won't be happening until the end of January because they switching companies so there is a Black Out period.

Oh...and it just gets better and better each day. We can't defer our student loans because almost 3 weeks later they are STILL waiting for the termination date from his company.

Oh...and the COBRA insurance won't kick in until they get the termination date as well. I am having some health issues, and have testing next week that MUST be done.

His unemployment was delayed as well because of dragging feet.

Like really!?!?! Why do they think this is okay? How do they get away with this? I am SO SICK OF DEALING WITH THIS!!!! He is so frustrated. He cries most days, and so do I. I am scared of the future right now if it continues on the path it is going. I am praying hard.

We both have had interviews places, and are applying to more places daily since we didn't feel all that confident with the first interviews we had.

I have applied to go back to school. Oh....and YES I know we wouldn't be as bad off if I wasn't sitting at home on my A** all day according to some people we've told that Bruce is unemployed (mainly my in-laws which I just let it fly...). Yes...I know we should of been smarter, and finished school before having kids and done more ahead of time but hey its life. I know we have dug our own grave on some things. We are losers...big fat losers(that is truly how we feel right now).

On top of all this my mom is driving me absolutely NUTS!!!! She is on our family plan....and has not paid her portion of the bill most of the year.(and because of that our phones are shut off...how great is that???I couldn't pay her portion last month or this month so that is how they were turned off. Makes me feel like even more of a winner.We have a home phone for job calls.) She says she is bad off financially. Things just don't make sense to me....like nothing adds up ever. Her life is like a big secret. I feel like I am getting the run around. Our relationship is becoming more and more strained. She is an adult...and the phone bill is a bill of her's too. She needs to pay that just like her others. She thinks we should move back to Iowa....why?? That will not solve any of our problems.

Thanks for letting me vent!!! I can't post much of FB these days. Plus Bruce and I try to keep our lives private....there is a lot more going on but just can't share it all. I feel a little bit better. My heart is so heavy from all the stress. I'm losing hair, face is broken out and I have no appetite. I don't sleep well on top of DS not sleeping. I am wiped out.

I am praying for a better 2013 for a lot of people!

UPDATE: We were finally able to get his 401k back....waiting for the stock to go through (mid week next week) so YAY!!! Now...just waiting to hear back from job he has applied too! I have most of my paper work done for school...they there is still a chance for me to still get in for spring! I'll keep ya posted!!

Update 2/24/12: We finally got everything settled with his company! It made me feel free! Hubby is still laid off but he has had a handful of interviews. I have been working at our church part-time in the nursery plus had a few interviews. It is disappointing to get a rejection but I know in His time He will give us the right oppurtunity again. We are doing okay...stressed yes. But what we are going through is nothing compared to what others are going through at this point in their lives. We are just blessed to have food on the table, a roof over our heads and each other at the end of the day. Some don't understand how I stay positive...really it is all that I can do. There are days were I do get really down but I am hanging in there even on those days. Thank you again you ladies are wonderful!

[ladyandrearose]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. ((Hugs)) and prayers.

[dara1012]

Oh Jess....I am sorry that things are so hard for your family right now. I will pray that things get better for you financially and health-wise in the coming days, weeks and months.

I would make sure that you document every conversation you have with your DH's previous employer. I would also try to see if MN unemployment can help you with this process to get his employer to do what they need to do to get your family the money they have coming.

In regards to health insurance, COBRA is so, so expensive. My friend found reasonable insurance for her husband when he was unemployed through this. www.ehealthinsurance.com/ehi/ifp/plan-details?planKey=5522:200024&productLine=IFP&ifpUIState.planDetailsBackUrl=/ifp/best-sellers
Again, the MN unemployment office might be able to help you with guidance on insurance. The majority of people I know have said that COBRA was unaffordable, but there are plans out there (especially catastrophic plans) that were doable. You might even qualify for state assistance given what you have shared of your financial status. This is all worth looking into. Also, call your clinic and see if they can set up a payment plan for tests/visits you need. Often it is cheaper to pay out of pocket and if there are serious issues, they will work with you on payment.

I truly hope that things turn around for you. In terms of employment, health and relationships. My mom just was sharing that when she is stressed and can't sleep she asks God to take on the burden of the stress for her for the moment so she can rest and giving it over to God for the night helps her.

hang in there and lean on us anytime....Hugs!

[healerarina]

Sorry, that totally sucks. If it were my mom that hadn't played a cell bill for a year, I would have dropped her line. Or report the phone stolen. Like you said, she is an adult. You are doing her a favor by making it a ton cheaper for her, she had no excuse to not pay.

I hope things turn around for you.

[laurac]

Prayers to you and your family, Jess. I know how stressful this can be.
What's done is done. You can't go back and un-have your kids, or get your finances in order from 10 years ago. All you can do is look forward and go as high as you need to at your husbands company. And basically you can't do anything without a term date. That sucks.

I also wouldn't worry too much about your Mom's phone. She's a big girl, she can pay her own way. You are trying to.

[lilmermaid]

So sorry you are going through all this Jess! Hugs and prayers sent your way!

[merrr]

I have been where you are - I know how you feel. I am so, so sorry that you're going through this hell.

Keep your chin up. Apply for medicaid. Tell everyone who says anything negative to kiss your ass. They have no idea what your life is like.

[bumblebee23]

Jess you are not a loser but trust me I have been there and I know the devestation you are feeling. I had two kids before I got married or went back to school. Yes it was harder but that's how life worked it's way out for me.

Also, I stayed home for two years with my boys which put a lot of strain on our finances and work. Plus my husband sucks at finances and has really dug us into a whole which where were seriously struggling under and I was stressed out about ALL the time. Now we are filing bankruptcy. I hate that we are doing that but since we made the decision I feel a huge weight off my shoulders.

For now just try to find any job you can. Walmart, Sam's and Aldi's actually pay very well for being a cashier. A little can go a very long way. I don't know what to say about his company dragging their feet but that is a bunch of bull. Maybe if you threaten a lawsuit someone will get off their A$$ and start getting things done. I hope all that gets figured out for you soon.

One more thing.....................((((((HUGS))))))

[bumblebee23]

Healarina has a point: Drop your mom from the phone bill she is an adult and you don't need her added stress on top of yours.

Also from Merr: Apply for medical/stamps through the state. I can only imagine how expensive the Cobra stuff is and state medical will usually back track up to 3 months to cover expenses already incrude.

[doeeyedgirl]

So sorry to hear you guys are having to struggle through this. Wish I had wise words, but am just offering virtual hugs and prayers for a quick fix!

[jess7882]

I am working out a deal with Verizon right now...because my mom had renewed a contract (when she was paying then decided to stop after) they want so much $ to end her's and start a new one under her name. I am waiting for a call back from a supervisor.

The state said they would cover a portion of our Cobra but we need the termination date so the Cobra can kick in. We made to much in Oct/Nov to qualify so we have to wait to apply for anything else until January (hoping we get jobs before it comes to that). If not like hubby said it will only be temporary, and nothing to be ashamed of since we have paid our taxes, and both have worked since 16 y/o.

I know in the end this will all work out...and I'll look back on this month and laugh but I'm just sick of it right now. I've never seen such a disaster of a company in my life. My friend knows an attorney who handles employers so if need be he said he would draft up something for us to help push them along.

I just needed to vent....I know it will get better. We have gone through unemployment before but it wasn't as complicated since it was from a smaller company who worked quickly to get my hubby off their books so it is just different.

[jess7882]

Okay correction....I worked from age 16 to 26 with no breaks but still.

[AuntSueto4]

{{{HHHUUUGGGSSS}}}

Sorry to hear you are going thru such a difficult time right now...

Hoping things will turn around sooner than later.

[bumblebee23]

Well see you have a plan of action and that has to make you feel a little better anyways. Keep trucking along and things will get better. I know it never seems like it but eventually you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[ReneeW]

Hang in there, Jess! And vent away, vent away! That's one reason why this site is great--when you need to let off some steam, you know where you can go. It totally sucks when everything just seems to pile on and pile on and pile on. I second what the ladies above said. We've all been through stressful times and know how hard it is. It sounds like you and your DH are a good team and are working together to get things in place to help you get through this rough patch. So keep up the good work, shrug off any negativity (who needs THAT??!!??) and know that you're doing everything in your power to weather this storm and position yourselves to come through in a better place.