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Post by momof3anddog on Nov 17, 2011 20:54:53 GMT -6
My husband and I went to a lawyer and wrote a will and listed who in it would have custody of our daughter, shortly after she was born, plus the property we had at the time. It is 6 years later and we are revising it as we have 2 more kids and significantly more property and a lot more life insurance that would go to the kids to help whomever care for them. We also found out when going through this process 6 years ago, that in MN, the law requires that you need two parties. One party has the physical custody of the children. If there is an estate or money or trust for the children from life insurance or what have you, another party has to manage that for the children. It cannot be the same people. I would encourage you to put everything you want in writing in a legal format like a witnessed will drawn up by a lawyer. The legalized will with witness signatures on it, is the most likely to hold up in court if it is contested.
Also -- 6 years ago, we thought we had it all figured out, and had only one child, and lots of relatives willing to take her. She is an easy going, smart child. However, 6 years later, we have 3 children, twins that may have some special challenges as they age as they were so premature. It is mind-boggling to me when talking to relatives about this, how many just will say to you, yeah, I'll take this one, or I'll take that one, but won't really think about how hurtful it would be to split the kids up at a time of loss of their parent(s). Of course, financially, 3 is more than 1, so that really might be the reality for some families. So, if you have multiple children or children with any sort of special needs, or want your kids to go to a non-relative, such as very good family friends, you should really be discussing this with them and putting in writing who can take them, who can handle the special needs, along with their own children they already have. We have noticed that in 6 years, that marriages that were stable before, are not anymore -- which is why we have made some of the changes that we did. We also have some relatives that we have watched not deal at all with some basic kid problems that most people will have with their children over time, and decided that we wouldnt' want that for our own kids if they were raised by them.
I also know from personal experience of my own two parents dying suddenly in the course of one year, when a younger sibling was still in high school, how the thought of having access to some money brings some relatives out of the woodwork to care for the a child -- when it really is only about having access to the money that the child may have from a parent's life insurance, etc... So I am pleased about MN's requirement that child custody and a child's inheritance if their is any, is handled by two different parties. Don't want my kids to have to go through that like my little brother did. If you don't have a will, but have a notorized statement, a court could consider it as "persuasive evidence" that is what you want, but it is still no guarantee that what you want will happen. Only a will will make what you want to happen more likely.
Our will cost about $500 to get drawn up. It is costing us another $75 to revise it. Some people think that's a lot of money. It is. But you know what? I bet most of the people who gripe about $500 cost of a lawyer to put in writing what they want for your kids also have a honking large flat screen TV that cost way more than that in their house. So again, it's all about priorities and delaying something else to get it done. It's a one time investment for the long-term security of the children if something terrible would happen.
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Post by elizac on Nov 18, 2011 8:04:36 GMT -6
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