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Post by CindyChapman on Dec 30, 2011 17:39:37 GMT -6
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Post by bunsy on Dec 30, 2011 18:42:34 GMT -6
Wow. That is sad.
I do NOT think kids have to be spoiled. My kids never got more than 5-6 gifts on Christmas and some of those were always pjs, ornament for the tree and their own box of snacks.
Parents have to DECIDE though not to give their children every thing they want. Kids don't know what they need versus what they want. That's a parent's job.
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Post by dara1012 on Dec 30, 2011 19:13:46 GMT -6
I would agree that my son is definitely more spoiled than I am. Growing up my parents worked one job (they shared it) and there were 3 of us. DS is an only child and both DH & I work.
We don't buy him everything he asks for and also spend time and money helping those less fortunate. In November DS and I put together 2 shoeboxes of toys, clothing, etc for Operation Christmas Child and I talked to him about what we were doing and why. In December DH & I brought DS to an event for underprivileged families in St. Paul that DH and I have volunteered at for years.
We watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas and talked to DS about the true meaning of Christmas as portrayed in the movie. He told everyone this past weekend "Christmas isn't about presents, it's about family"
However, despite our attempts to not spoil him, my MIL is the worst. I counted 12 gifts from her (she says some are from Santa which bugs me, because I think parents should do Santa not grandparents too - for me it takes the "magic" away if there are Santa gifts from each grandparent spread out over weeks). The 12 gifts is not including the handmade wooden toybox from my FIL (he mentioned at one point that the hardware alone was $100 - not including the wood and his time). My parents do 3 gifts (one toy, one clothing item, one book) in an effort to rein things in. Tomorrow we go to DH's dad and stepmom's for more spoiling.
We also got DS stuff, mostly clothes he needed and I make him a Shutterfly book each year (and one big toy from Santa plus stocking stuffers). His big gift from us was going to MOA to do build a bear, Sea Life and Rainforest cafe. I would rather do an event together than gifts under the tree.
We really try to teach him about wants and needs and focus on giving him a few things (some he wants and some he needs) but not everything. As he gets older we plan to do more volunteering and also work on teaching him the valuing of saving and working towards things you want (he is only 3 1/2 so we aren't quite there yet).
I saw a FB post of my friends that was a compilation of Tweets and FB posts from teenagers complaining about what they got for Christmas. Most of the complaints were not getting iphones (or the right color iphone) and not getting a car....really?? I don't know anyone I grew up with who got a car or a $500 item for Christmas. When we got a Nintendo it was a gift from both sets of grandparents to my brothers and I combined.
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Post by mommylinz on Jan 1, 2012 13:15:46 GMT -6
Dara I'm with you on the MIL spoiling my kids. I try hard to control what we buy them and my mom gives me money for gifts, to which about 1/2 goes to savings. But my MIL goes crazy with presents. We had 2 Christmas' with them this year one at Thanksgiving, which upset me because it was right around my DS's birthday so I have no clue what were Christmas vs Birthday gifts. On Christmas day she had more presents for my kids than I did and that makes me mad. Plus she buys silly things they don't even want. She brought $10 cars for all 4 of us (my DH and me included) we have no idea why. My DS is 1 my DD is 4 and could care less for cars. We returned mine, my DDs and my DSs. I'm happy that we can give our kids a lot, but want them to understand that is not what Christmas is about. Good luck to me I guess.
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Post by love on Jan 1, 2012 13:28:21 GMT -6
I didn't read the article but I do not like the word spoiled. I think that word comes fro others seeing it as being spoiled. If we live within our means why can't I buy him a new train table for no occasion? I hate the whole people judging you if you "spoil" your kid. My son will be 3 and we get him what we feel is right. He does not ask. He will eventually and when that time comes and it is acceptable why is it wrong to give my son it? As a parent I feel I should give him what is reasonable. We aren't broke doing these things for him so why is it spoiling him? I give him all my love just not materialistic things. I should feel no shame in it. Sorry if "spoiling" my son makes me a bad person.
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Post by laurac on Jan 1, 2012 14:05:37 GMT -6
I think there is a difference between being spoiled and a sense of entitlement. I can't stand the sense of entitlement. If you want to give your kids stuff then by all means go ahead. It's up to you to determine when they start to feel entitled and to put the stop to that.
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Post by ReneeW on Jan 2, 2012 10:48:23 GMT -6
I read part of the article (my computer is sooooo slow today so I didn't finish it). Hmmm. Personally I don't want my kids to get EVERYTHING they want because I'm afraid that they'll think they always will get what they want. I want them to learn patience, that things have value, that perhaps they need to work for something and save up for it if they REALLY want it. My DD who is seven wanted an American Girl doll for years (and we did get one for her this year) but she had two years of wanting one and not getting it when she was 5 and 6. I think she appreciates it more now because she had to wait for it. I don't think it matters so much what you buy for your kids but the lessons you're teaching them that go along with it. Like Laura mentioned, it's that sense of entitlement and "the world OWES me" that I see as a problem. If you're teaching and demonstrating for your kids values/lessons that are in alignment with your own, I think that's the key. And at Christmas, teaching your kids about giving to others, the importance of volunteering, that other people are less fortunate etc. can be a chance to reiterate life lessons you want your kids to know.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Jan 3, 2012 12:37:30 GMT -6
I haven't even read the article but I am going to say yes kids are definatley spoiled now. I feel bad that I can't get my kids even half the things some of their friends have but at the same time I don't really want to. My bil gets his kids really expensive gifts even though his oldest daughter steals and lies all year round....what is that teacher her?!
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