Balancing School/Work/Family....Help!

[dara1012]

Anyway have great tips on balancing school/work/family (and still sleep?). I just started graduate school and work FT. I love my class, it's one night a week and it energizes me and I feel good about what I am doing.

But, trying to get all the reading done and write papers is hard to balance with DS (3 1/2) and DH.

I am going to start putting study time and family time on my calendar....but some weeks getting it all done seems overwhelming. My new mantra may have to be one day at a time (or one hour at a time).

Any good tips that work for other moms balancing all this?

[supermommy]

You may not like my tip.....I learned to function with less sleep. I would do homework after my boys werenin bed. I stayed up until 1 or 2 am all the time. I got used to it and I managed to fit everything in that way. Most people don't do well on 4 hrs of sleep but with taking 6 classes at a time I had no choice. Could do pick a certain day to go to the library to read and get the majority of work done while someone watches ds? Good luck, it is hard but it will be worth it!

[apryllraye87]

I have to agree with supermommy. I also work full time and attend school and I usually average about 5 hours of sleep a night. My hubby works an opposite shift so I'm basically a single mother during the week and there just isn't enough time in the day. You can definitely do it if you put your mind to it. Good luck!

[dara1012]

My problem with getting less sleep is that my body physically rebels against less sleep. I have asthma that is really well controlled in general but when I get less than 6 hrs of sleep 2 nights in a row I get really sick with my asthma and my bones ache. I have always been a person who needs 8-9 hrs of sleep a night. It makes it really hard to get everything done for sure.

I have been studying after DS goes to bed but that isn't usually until 8:30p so I am not starting until 9p and then I am needing to be done by 11p. It's working so far, but not great (and my house is a disaster).

[elizac]

Dara, you don't have to be perfect. You have SO MUCH to handle right now -- make sure YOU stay healthy. I have never done school, work and family at the same time -- I've done each one separately and found it to be a LOT. So, my advice would be to not worry about balance (I actually don't believe it is possible to achieve anyways but set priorities and get as much help as possible from DH and others.

[apryllraye87]

Dara, my house is a disaster 95% of the time.. It drives me crazy a lot because I grew up in a house of neat freaks.. But eventually you realize something has to give. I would rather have some dishes in the sink and toys on the floor and get an A on my test! School won't be forever (even though it seems like it sometimes :/) so just take things as they come. Try not to get overwhelmed!

[nevaehsmom327]

I did the same thing, went to school full time, worked after school til like 9 or 10 at night, went home got DD into bed, then did homework til 2 am, then went to bed, woke up at 6 and did it all over again! Then worked weekends as well. It wasn't easy and took a LOT of sacrifice from my friends, family, etc. BUT, in the end it was all worth it. I have a good job, I have a great home, and I get to spend more time with my kid because I did it sooner in my life.

Any tips to help you, well, first of all, most teachers are pretty understanding these days. They understand people have families, and lives. So, if it comes down to it, just let your teachers know you are being overwhelmed with the work and need a few days extra time to complete it. Make sure you won't take a hit on your grade from it though.
Second, ask DH for help. Whether it's with the kids, keeping the house clean, or whatever. I don't know how much he does now, but if you can ask him to do one to two more tasks so you can get homework done, it will help immensely.
Third, don't fret the small things. If your house is a mess, oh well. I know it's a pain to look at, but it will get clean one day...when your kids are old and out of the house lol.
Fourth, find some music that is motivating. I know I clean, get work done, do anything really better when I'm jammin out to some good music that keeps me goin!

Hope some of that helps. GOOD LUCK DEAR!

[laurac]

Dara, that's the first thing I thought, too. You have the rest of your life to clean your house. Do what you need to do now to make a great life for your family and if people come to your house and don't like what they see, then they can leave.

[dara1012]

Thanks ladies....you are all invited over to my house anytime as long as you don't care about the mess!
My parents called at 10a this morning as DH and I were on the way to celebrate our anniversary w/ brunch and said they are stopping by in about 10 min....I told them they were welcome as long as they didn't care that our house is a mess.

I know I need to let that go....but sometimes it just bugs me when it's a mess. Too bad I can't use student loans for a house cleaner LOL!

[deannemdm]

I once re-posted something on FB about judging someone by a messy house--- something about toys out means my kids have stuff to play with, piles of laundry mean they have clean clothes, dishes in the sink show they are getting food to eat. I still get comments from my mom when she comes over about it "looking like a tornado went through" but try not to let it bother me. I don't work outside the home right now and only have class one night a week, unless I can make it to karate. DH works rotating 12 hour shifts and does quite a bit around the house. DD is 10 and DS is 2.5 so he keeps me busy during the day. I am thinking about paying a friend to come over and help me clean and organize because I have issues in those areas. I would rather have the time with my kids than cleaning non stop. I am happier and so are they (usually).