Life of a step-parent

[nevaehsmom327]

I swear, I'm going insane dealing with DH's baby mama. She's just absolutely crazy. She's been nice enough to give us, yes...give us, 50/50 custody. It's been dealt with in court and everything, so it's legit.

My problem, the woman can't EVER keep the schedule right. Every time we have her we get her a few days early, or keep her a few days later, or both. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOOOOVE having our little girl there. She's such a blessing and such a happy baby, but I just can't help to think why her mom would even bother anymore. She barely sees her, when she does she just texts DH all the time about how hard of a time she's having. It's just sad. UGH! DSD is very happy at our house, and loves having a big sister around all the time. DD loves having her there too, although sometimes she can get annoyed that we have to get the baby a bottle before her drink of water. But our family seems (almost) complete with her there, and I just wish her mom would either take MORE responsibility, or non at all! Anyone else ever deal with this?

Sorry, just had to vent! lol thanks ladies.

[jessijo]

At least the little girl has you and your hubby to spend time with her and love her! I'm not a step parent and it must be so difficult, especially when you have to deal with a mom like that.

[nevaehsmom327]

It is difficult. And we are VERY happy to have her at our house. She's my little angel baby, and I wouldn't want it any other way!

[jess7882]

I'm not a step parent either but I have a friend who goes through the same situation as you.(except it is an older child) Like you she has said she loves having him around but it has to be frustrating to him to not know a schedule etc. Some people just never should of been parents.

[babyscute]

Does she have a support system? Someone that could help her when she gets overwhelmed? I know I have no support system hardly around here. I get 1 night a week off and 3 hours a day. I have nobody to drop DD off with to give me time to cool off and quit going crazy. That might be her problem. But then also with DD I have to deal with a lot more than with a typical child. Even when you do get breaks sometimes they are not long enough and you are still overwhelmed to the point of going insane. Did she have to change her life completely with this child? There are a lot of factors that come into play here. I am glad that you are able to help with the baby. Also what I don't like is someone my DD would come to look at as Mommy because I am her one and only Mommy. Just maybe look at her from her point of view and if you do not know her point of view sit down and get to know her because you two are now connected through the baby.

[megs25]

That's heartbreaking!! I can't stand 1 night without my son on date nights! I do wonder what must be up with her mom. Does she have no confidence in her ability to be a good parent? Maybe she feels indimidated by you?? Just possibilities. One thing's for sure, she needs to straighten out the situation before your little girl catches wind that her biological mother chooses to give up time with her. Thank God for stepmoms like you, but that little girl should never feel unwanted

[nevaehsmom327]

Well, the deal is she has a kid from a previous relationship that is 4yo. She only sees her on the weekends. Different Dad. Then there's my DHs daughter, and she's 8 months, AND now she's pregnant AGAIN! I just don't think she cares. She expects others to do everything for her. She moved away from the cities because that's the only place she could get a job. So no support system for her besides her CRAZY "new" baby daddy. I've talked to her multiple times, and she's...well...let's just say "out there", the lights aren't all on, couple of crayons missing, you know what I'm getting at. Which I get, some people are just that way...but when it comes to your kids you should still be able to keep and hold a schedule. I'm thankful that with DDs dad we're able to. Same time, every other weekend, if things change we can work it out, but things rarely change. It's just frustrating it happens EVERY time. This weekend, we were walking out the door to go drop her off and she calls and says "oh nevermind, so and so is coming to get her". Which is fine, but what if we had left earlier and already been driving up to BFE? She just can't ever get her ducks in a row! So annoying!

[jess7882]

Amy wow wow!!! I hope that it can all get straightend out for you guys. It isn't good on the baby either.

[ladyandrearose]

Anyway to petition for full custody? I would suggest keeping a documentation journal. Document any time she doesn't do what she is supposed to do, every time she is late, everytime she changes plans anything that shows how she is breaking the terms of custody. I did this with my step-daughter (to be fair, I did document good things, too). It would help you if you petitioned for full custody.

[nevaehsmom327]

Well, at this point its hard. She is the mother, and unfortunately in this case that works against us. We do journal everything so that we can show how much time she REALLY spends with us, because it's definitely not 50/50. We have her more than she does. The crappy thing is she is so young. When she gets older is when we'll really have to go to battle for it.

[babyscute]

I'm sorry she is so flaky. I don't understand why she would keep having kids if she can't handle them. I make sure I don't have more kids due to DD's problems already driving me crazy. Imagine if I had 2 kids. The woman across the hall from me says she has had 10 kids and she has no physical custody of any When do you say I am done not protecting myself? Ugh. Your husband could probably get full custody. It might cost a bit but he would know that his little girl is being properly taken care of. I don't know if that would change your plans though.

[apryllraye87]

10 kids!? geez!

[nevaehsmom327]

Wow!!! 10 kids!!!