How to handle my own kid's insensitivity?

[ReneeW]

Here's the situation: this morning I have my two DDs and the kindergartener we carpool with in the car. The kindergartener talks with a slight lisp. At home, when my kids talk like that (i.e "sath" instead of "says") we make them repeat the word correctly so that they don't get into a habit of mis-speaking their "s"es. Anyway, my 4-yr-old has her doll, and she says from the back seat, "Mommy, my doll says her esses with a "th" sound." I just kind of go "mmm" and ignore her, hoping she'll move onto a new topic. Then she says it again and I say, "No big deal, honey, some kids talk like that, it's fine" or something to that effect. Then she goes on AGAIN and I'm afraid that even though she's just saying it in her normal voice, not sassy or teasing or rudely, that it will hurt the other girl's feelings. So I just kind of say again, "Honey, that's not a big deal, let's talk about something else -- don't use bad manners," and change the topic.

After my older DD and the kindergartener were dropped off, I talked to my 4-yr-old about how we don't talk in front of someone about the way they look, etc. and added also the way they speak, explaining that we don't want to accidentally hurt someone's feelings. (At the time I had looked back to see the kindergartener's reactions, she was looking out the window so I couldn't see her face to gauge her feelings.)

What would you have done? I didn't want to draw attention to the girl's speech and make a huge deal out of it (have my DD apologize when she wasn't meaning to be cruel) but maybe I should have done more? (Sigh.) The kid is really sweet and nice and I would HATE to have her feel badly about what my 4-yr-old said. Drat!! But I also didn't want to make a huge deal out of it because it may have made the kindergartener feel even WORSE ... Help!! Thanks.

[bumblebee23]

I think you handled the situation really well. High five to you!

[deannemdm]

You did a good job! I don't know if I could have handled it that well.
One thing to remember-- not too sure developmentally (age 4) realistic it is for children to put them selves in another person's shoes. I could probably look it up, but the developmental stage at age fout I think that is just starting to see others as separate

[sharon]

I think you did great too. You both did exactly what you are supposed to do, actually.

If kids knew everything, they wouldn't need parents. So she showed you something she doesn't know yet, and you taught her about it. That's how it's supposed to be.

Well done Mama!