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Post by sarahisis on Mar 9, 2012 22:24:29 GMT -6
My ds is 2 yrs old plus a couple months. He has quite the little attitude lately. When he doesn't get his way, is told no or whatever doesn't rub him the right way... he screams... but now he is hitting too, and it's only mom and dad, or throwing my dh's glasses across the room. My question to all the moms who are or have used discipline on a young two how do/did you do it? Right now we do the "no hit" or "no throw,owie" and look right on his eyes... we don't have a great place for a naughty spot and I don't think he'd really care or notice the loss of a toy or something just yet.. when were in public we try to leave if possible, and we just don't take him to restaurants because that's stressful for all parties involved!! Ahhh the joys of toddlerhood
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Post by irish on Mar 9, 2012 22:32:02 GMT -6
We did timeouts/naughty corner and that really helped! The key is to remain consistent, so if he gets up from the naughty spot, keep putting him back in there without saying anything. When timeout is over, explain to him why he was in out. It worked great for us! DS will be 4 next week and I honestly cannot remember the last time he went to timeout, its been way over a year!
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Post by sharon on Mar 9, 2012 22:45:23 GMT -6
We disengaged as much as possible. Our guy is super social and any kind of eye contact, discussion, attention would inspire him to continue. So we would look away, walk away, redirect with a gentle hand but no eye contact, etc. Engaging made it worse. We did use "breaks" later, not as a punishment as much as to give him time and space to calm down and try again.
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Post by sarahisis on Mar 9, 2012 22:51:48 GMT -6
My hubby gets so frustrated and sometimes thinks pres needs the eye contact.... I have almost always done what you were, Sharon, and treated it more as a redirect...unfortunately neither way help to calm him.
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Post by angel22 on Mar 9, 2012 22:56:46 GMT -6
When my girls tried that stuff- say, hitting- I would grab her hands, look in her eyes and say very sternly "No hitting! We do NOT hit!" DD3 is sort of getting into that stage right now, her "tantrums" are her laying on the floor face down- I completely ignore those. Hitting, pulling hair, throwing things- those all get stern corrections.
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Post by sharon on Mar 10, 2012 7:58:57 GMT -6
We would do a lot of re-framing too, showing him how TO react to what he is feeling. So, for instance if he wa angry that was time to clean up (just coming up with anything here) and hitting us, then we might gently hold his hands while saying "Oh, it's so frustrating! You don't want to have to clean up now!" The problem isn't the big feelings, but the expression of them, so it's important to learn how to express them appropriately. That meant we didn't re-direct the screaming, only the hitting. If he screamed we would likely just say, "Wow, you are really upset about that." Or something close to that.
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Post by dara1012 on Mar 10, 2012 8:28:29 GMT -6
With DS we did immediate time outs for hitting, for everything else he got one warning and then went in time out.
I have heard of people buying a small rug to use as a time out spot, at daycare it is a small spot by the wall, so it doesn't have to be anything fancy.
When DS is in time out we don't talk to him or make eyecontact with him, when he is calm or it has reached his # of min (we go by age) we sit down and talk to him about what happened, how we could do it differently next time, etc. We make him give eye contact at this time b/c he will try to say "sorry" while not looking at us and walk away. We don't just accept "sorry" he has to say what he is sorry for and talk about what he will do differently next time.
With consistency this has worked really well. We rarely have time outs, he has only been in 2 at daycare in the last 2 years. We have had warnings and opportunities for him to make choices about better behavior and he can usually turn it around at that point.
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Post by elizac on Mar 10, 2012 8:46:27 GMT -6
During the day we "plant" (make-up) a lot of situations where we teach DS to hug, pet nice, give kisses, show other loving expressions etc.. Basically, a lot of nice behavior and it seems to work for us. We also redirect a lot when we see a possibility of aggressive behavior. Our 3 year old DD is a very good teacher as well, so that helps. We do say 'no' when DS's behavior is aggressive. We do not do time-outs. If DS keeps up his aggressive behavior, I hold him for a while and start to sing a song, make him laugh, etc.. -- distract him as much as I can -- he is only 1, so all of this works for us right now.
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