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Post by sarahisis on May 2, 2012 17:22:41 GMT -6
just stay strong.. don't let the stress effect your health, and have faith!! It'll all work out the way it was intended to!
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Post by cwolbeck on May 3, 2012 6:51:41 GMT -6
You may have to talk to your lawyer to get your custody changed in the long run. In the short run, in Minnesota it is legal to record phone calls with out the person on the other end knowing. Try that, that is hard evidence.
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on May 3, 2012 7:57:34 GMT -6
Bunsy - He has to give me 30 days written notice. Not a text, not a "hey i'm taking her this date" but WRITTEN in a letter notice. So if he doesn't do that he's SOL. It just sucks, I am trying to schedule a baby shower, vaca to the cabin, all sorts of crap and i have no idea when he wants to take her.
yes, if he loses his DL license that includes his motorcycle license as well. It's all suspended. Aaand to be honest, he probably wouldn't listen to either of us!
Sarah - I pray for him all the time. I know God's plan will work out somehow and I'm sure in a year I'll be like...well duuuuh! Thanks Lord! lol
We don't have phone calls. We don't talk much in general. I like it that way. lol. If he does get a bike, then I'll be going back to court for the custody thing. And I'll be bringing a lot of crap to the table.
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Post by laurac on May 3, 2012 9:04:02 GMT -6
It sounds like you def know what you're doing as you've been dealing with this for 7 years now. You're a smart cookie, Amy!
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Post by cwolbeck on May 3, 2012 9:46:56 GMT -6
Oh sorry I wasn't more help
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Post by Samantha on May 9, 2012 13:01:25 GMT -6
I'm dropping into this way late.. but I have to say he sounds SO much like some of the guys my husband knows. Whenever I face people like that i just cut all ties and I know you can't do that so that totally sucks. But i agree with the other moms, keep track of everything and just be there to lend support to his wife if your relationship is there with her.. she probably really needs it and that can benefit your daughter when she is around him.
Either way, I just wanted to lend you support!
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Post by laurac on May 22, 2012 7:53:51 GMT -6
How's this going, Amy? I'm thinking not well.
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on May 23, 2012 8:42:18 GMT -6
Well, he's still being a jerk. Still being uncooperative, still just being him. So far he hasn't purchased a bike as far as I know...but from what I understand, he is getting evicted from his place very soon. So it worries me about where DD will be sleeping/staying, if he'll have clothes, toys, anything for her. As far as this summer stay thing goes, we've gotten it figured out, I think. Again, it's hard to say because he's being quite the ass about doing anything. One thing he has to do is give me the 30 days written notice, not via text, not over the phone, but in a letter. So if he doesn't do that, he doesn't get his 3 weeks. Which for me right now, I don't plan on telling him I have made plans for a baby shower, he said he agrees to let her come. We'll see. If he doesn't give me the 30 days notice it won't matter anyway cuz i planned it on my weekend. Child support - WOOOOO! Finally got a payment. They sent him a letter saying to pay or lose your license. So now he's catching up on 5 months of back pay. Should go great for him now that he's trying to buy a house apparently lol. Overall - I'm just trying not to rock the boat. I want to be civil, it's hard, but I really do want to. The last thing I need is to be overly stressed and crazy about what's going on. Just gotta take care of my babies. I want to go back to court though. Especially since he's being evicted, and doesn't know where he'll be living. His mom and sister are moving back to MN for good though, and I love them dearly so at least I know if he has her, one of them will be around to help, or just take her all together. And if that's the case, they've both told me they'd go to court and tell that to the judge to show he's not responsible enough to take her on his own.
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on May 23, 2012 8:47:40 GMT -6
Let me add to my statement too and just say that being in touch with BDW is such an awesome thing. I know for some people that may seem awkward or weird, but it's been so nice to have someone who understand the type of idiot i'm dealing with lol. Not my place to really say either, but from what I hear from her and how she's doing, she feels sooooo much better not living with him anymore and getting away from his drama. I think since that happened, it's helped us both just take a step back and try not to stress over what he's doing anymore. Never thought I'd say it, but LOOOOVE having a good relationship with her
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Post by gwensmama9206 on May 23, 2012 11:51:04 GMT -6
Soooo I'm guessing you're all waiting for BDW to say SOMETHING lol..... Well long story short (too lazy to write the long version lol) found out the husband has been cheating pretty much our entire relationship. He has also been VERY verbally and emotionally abusive. Was around for MAYBE the first month of DS's life and then started just not being around. Everyday he'd wake up, leave & then wouldn't be back until 4am the next day. Leaving me at home with the kids alone. Never knowing where he was. He'd never answer his phone. Nothing. There were some nights where DD was crying because she missed him and I would tell him and he'd say, "Don't try and guilt trip me!" He wasn't paying the bills. Saying he didn't have the money. But yet he was out 24/7 and always stoned off his a$$. Yep. He's a WINNER! I've done everything I could to try and work things out but nothing ever got better. I finally hit my breaking point, said F@%& THIS!, and moved out. I'm currently living with some friends and I LOVE IT HERE!!! DS & I share a room and DD shares a room with my friends daughter who is 8 YO. Its all worked out amazing and I'm very happy. And so are my kiddos
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Post by gwensmama9206 on May 23, 2012 12:01:59 GMT -6
And as far as the bike goes. He IS still trying to buy one. Which pisses me off because hes been telling me (even today) to pawn my engagement ring to pay his rent because he has no money and will get evicted if I don't. First off, NOT MY PROBLEM! Second, He's been contacting people off craigslist saying he's got cash in hand and ready to buy $2000-$2500 bikes. Apparently having a bike is more important than a roof over his children's head. And it's not like he has anywhere to go because everyone refuses to take him in. No one wants to deal with his bullsh*t & drug habit. He still isn't seeing DS. Why? Because he doesn't want me to go out. He thinks it hurts me by him doing that when in reality it just makes him look like a pile of sh*t.
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Post by bumblebee23 on May 23, 2012 12:07:18 GMT -6
Wow he sounds like a real winner. I am sorry the both of you are going to have to continue dealing with him because you both have kids with him and I am sorry for the kids not having a better father.
Amy: I am happy to hear you are not letting him stress you out anymore! In the end he will show his true colors and hopefully N isn't trapped in a horrible place/situation with him!
Melissa: Glad to hear you finally got out of what sounds like an awful relationship and super happy to hear you are doing well in your new place. I hope everything works out great for you!
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Post by gwensmama9206 on May 23, 2012 12:08:30 GMT -6
I'm working on figuring out the whole divorce thing atm. When I moved all my stuff out I found divorce papers from him he hid under a bunch of stuff in my top dresser drawer. Not sure what the hell to do with them so tomorrow I'm going down to legal asst to get help with it. I just want this all to be done and over with!
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Post by gwensmama9206 on May 23, 2012 12:11:09 GMT -6
Let me add to my statement too and just say that being in touch with BDW is such an awesome thing. I know for some people that may seem awkward or weird, but it's been so nice to have someone who understand the type of idiot i'm dealing with lol. Not my place to really say either, but from what I hear from her and how she's doing, she feels sooooo much better not living with him anymore and getting away from his drama. I think since that happened, it's helped us both just take a step back and try not to stress over what he's doing anymore. Never thought I'd say it, but LOOOOVE having a good relationship with her Diddo!
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on May 23, 2012 12:19:54 GMT -6
Thanks Mo! I'm trying not to let it get to me. It's hard...but one bible verse always comes to mind too:
James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...
That and Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.
God has his plan for me, for melissa, and for BD.
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