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Post by supermommy on Jun 10, 2012 22:28:17 GMT -6
Dh and I need a proper will made up as we don't have one My question is...who the heck do we leave our children to in the event of our death if we don't want anyone in our family to have them and neither of us have close friends at all?! This is a serious issue and probably why we have put it off...but we have nobody to put down or ask. What does one do in this situation??
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Post by dara1012 on Jun 11, 2012 6:39:41 GMT -6
Hmmm....that is a tough one. If you consult a lawyer for a will they may be able to help you with this. Right now if something would happen to you they would go to next of kin (living parent and then sibling) who would then need to go to court for legal custody. The courts will always put children with family unless there is documented proof that this is not in their best interest, so if you feel it is not in their best interest you and DH need to work to figure out what is.
Sorry I don't have a better answer for you.....good luck!
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Post by ReneeW on Jun 11, 2012 9:56:43 GMT -6
Hmmm, that is a tough one. The two of you should sit down and brainstorm ... do you have any friends who might not be in the "best friend" category but whom you're close enough to and whose parenting style you like? Or a more distant relative (cousin etc) who you think would be great parents, just in case? The good news is, chances are you will NEVER need this. BUT you really really REALLY should do this for your peace of mind, especially if you don't want your close family members to raise your kids. Because they will raise your kids if you don't get that specified in your will.
I know for my DH and myself, we had plan but then had to change it. My sister who would "get" our kids currently lives out of the country, so we put into place a secondary plan for other people to take our kids 'til she moves back. (We think it would add to our kids' trauma to lose their parents and then be shipped to a foreign country on top of it.) The other thing we've done is tell a bunch of people. My parents, in-laws, best friend, sister, and all of the "players" know what our plan is. We figure that way in the unfortunate (and unlikely) case of our demise everyone knows what's what and that will hopefully prevent any kind of legal headaches for everyone.
So hang in there, do some thinking "outside the box" if you can!!
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Post by bumblebee23 on Jun 13, 2012 15:42:45 GMT -6
We are sort of like that too. I have two brothers and a sister. My brother is on his own and paying child support for his son. My other brother is scitzophrenic and has other issues. My sister is a single mom and barely has money for her and her son. I do have a cousin that has a son and pays child support for another but her life isn't always stable.
Then there is DH. His oldest brother is the best option but they already have four kids! His oldest sister lives in a group home for handicap adults. His younger is a "B" and we don't talk to her and his younger brother won't grow up.
I bought a Suzi Orman kit and it had a disk in there that walks you through how to make your own will. I still haven't gone through and done it but it is suppose to be really easy to use.
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Post by sarahisis on Jun 13, 2012 21:16:26 GMT -6
that's gotta be truly stressful... I have multiple options for my kids, but we don't have a will either yet. I would agree with Renee in that you may need to come up with a plan to see if you have a friend/s whose lifestyle you agree with... and maybe even make a list of people you definitely DONT want to have your kids, just in case and work backwards... make pros and cons of couples that you and your husband know...
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