DH's job/boss

[dara1012]

I need to vent about DH's job b/c I can't do it to him as he is frustrated and needs my support.

DH's company moved to NYC a few months ago and DH stayed on as a work at home employee which is great b/c we weren't going to move to NYC and it allows DH to still have employment. However while I am thankful for his job and that the company is doing better (he was laid off for 6 months in 2009), I am frustrated w/ how much he has been working and his boss' lack of boundaries.

DH hasn't had a full weekend off since the beginning of May. He is getting up at 5:30a and working until 10p at night with only a couple hours of breaks to go watch DS soccer or have dinner. DH and I have had no time together in almost a year as right when I was wrapping my semester of grad school is when he started working 60hrs/wk. I keep telling myself we just need to get through the next year with me in school and it will get better. Today I went to visit my brother and his family w/ just DS, next weekend I'll go to the lake w/ just DS, in Aug I may have to go on vacation with just DS. I miss our family time, big time. I was so looking forward to a summer of fun family moments and so far they are all mom/son moments and missing daddy. Today when DS and I got back DH said his boss called and may need him to travel to NC the week after the 4th...ugh. We'll make it, but it's hard just not knowing when the end is in sight. His boss is really happy w/ his work and the extra efforts and is paying him a bonus at the end of the summer (plus overtime) so our bank account likes this extra work....but I miss my husband and DS misses his daddy.

DH's boss has no boundaries he called and expected DH to drop everything and get on his computer during DS's birthday party (DH said it would have to wait til the party was over). His boss calls when we have friends in from out of state and it is 8p on a Sunday. His boss called today to say that the work DH did all weekend is pointless b/c the client changed his mind. He calls on Saturday mornings, during church....you get the picture. It's hard because it is small company so they can't say no to clients and I get that, but it is hard.

I pray for some balance and boundaries. Thanks for letting me vent.

[bunsy]

That is hard Deb. Maybe he can push back just a little to make things more family friendly. He certainly should be able to have a few hours here and there to do what he wants to do. Hang in there. Every family goes through some challenging years. It stinks though.

[ReneeW]

WOW. That is out of control!!! So sorry to hear that. Ugh. It's tough because, as you say, your DH is great at his job and is making some extra money but Mr. Boss Dude, C'mon. REALLY? I know that good jobs are so precious these days, but there should be some boundaries in place. Everybody needs to have time that is really and truly "just for them" -- not to mention that I just read a statistic that people who take their vacations perform better at work. And your poor DH doesn't even have a measly weekend!!! Grrr ...

Hang in there, hope that he can figure out some ways to erect boundaries, even if it's like, "Hey Mr. Boss Dude, I've got a busy weekend but will be available to you from X to Y o'clock on Saturday if something comes up." Maybe you need to go to the Boundary Waters for a few days -- no cell reception. Or tell Mr. Boss Dude that your DH will be going on a family retreat where no cell phones are allowed. I'm sure you could be creative.

[lilmermaid]

Bummer!
Does DH have to answer every phone call ASAP? If you are in the middle of something I would think just calling him back should be appropriate.

[bumblebee23]

Sounds rough. Does he let any of these calls go to voicemail? Especially when you are in the middle of something then he can take a few seconds and check the voicemail and determine if he needs to call back right away or let it slide for awhile.

Maybe he could talk to his boss about how many hours he is putting in and tell him he needs some time off? Everyone needs a day off or a few vacation days anyway. Good luck.