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Post by apryllraye87 on Aug 15, 2012 15:45:37 GMT -6
Usually during the summer we put DS in daycare. This year my mom and step-dad offered to watch him and we paid them $100 a week instead of the usual $170 a week we would normally pay. We were grateful that they offered as we have been trying to pay off debt and every little bit helps. Fast forward to nearly the end of summer. We have started to notice all of these bad habits he has picked up. Usually my mom is home during the day but she has been working OT lately so my step-dad has mainly been watching him. He is WAY more laid back when my mom isn't around.
Anyway, DS has recently started swearing, lying, throwing tantrums, rolling his eyes, etc. I know my step-dad slips and swears once in a while but I'm wondering if he doesn't watch his mouth as much when my mom isn't around. I know he's spent a lot of time with my step-dads neices & nephews so I'm thinking he picked up the lying & tantrums & eye rolling from them. Regardless it recently gotten really bad. Over the weekend we visited some friends and today I received a message that her 3 year old has started using swear words that he said he heard DS use while they were playing in his room. He starts Kindergarten next month and I am worried that he will still be doing these things and get in trouble at school. We've been working with him but once the habit is there it's hard to break.
I can't really talk to my mom about it because she gets offended and is very emotional. It's frustrating because I know they do a lot for us but honestly I would have preferred to pay the extra money and put him in daycare if I would have known that we would have to spend months breaking all these bad habits he's picked up. I don't want him to be the child that no one wants around their kids because he teaches them bad things. I certainly wouldn't want other children around him if they were teaching him these things.
I just don't know what to do. He doesn't swear in front of us (adults) but he does it around other kids when adults aren't around. We've talked to him over and over about it but he still does it! If another child tattles on him he lies and lies about it and says he didn't do whatever it is they said. When he gets in trouble he rolls his eyes and says "I know I know!" or other disrespectful comments. We've been consistent but it doesn't seem to be changing anything.
Sorry so long winded and scattered. I'm just really frustrated and at a loss of what to do at this point. He's always been a pretty well behaved child and I've never had to deal with these types of things. ANY help/advice is appreciated.
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Post by deannemdm on Aug 16, 2012 6:43:09 GMT -6
One of the best ways to instill a habit/behavior is to use postivie reinforcement as much as possible and to use natural consequences when you can-- you lied to now i ca't beleive you are really going to do.... or you lied so I can't trust ... that means we can't go to....
Also try to give him replacement behavior for the bad ones-- maybe word switch for swearing or leaving room to punch a pillow, etc so he still has outlet for emotions if he isn't able to articlulate it well (DD is almost 11 and gets too angry to talk sometimes)
Not sure what else to suggest-- just a few ideas
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Post by cakemakermom on Aug 16, 2012 9:24:55 GMT -6
Have you explained to your son why those words aren't appropriate to use and how it could hurt other people? You may not get an old man to stop doing it, but your son is young enough to be able to stop using the offensive words.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Aug 16, 2012 11:47:56 GMT -6
They boys started acting out and talking back alot too after they starting going to my moms. She is really laid back and wouldn't really disicpline them so I finally had to talk to her and say, Look you HAVE to dicipline them because they will keep testing your buttons to see what they can get away with then they still want to act like that at home and it makes things harder for me. That helped a lot but I also had to talk to the boys and say you don't act like that at school or at home and you know the rules and they are the same at grandmas so you better behave yourself because I will ground you if I feel it's necessary.
They are getting older and still talk back and I reprimand them for it but if he is also lieing to you about his behaviour he needs to be diciplined for that as well or he will keep doing it.
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