Midlife crisis at 30

[ilovemybooboo]

I've been realizing that this is more common and slightly comforting to know that I'm not the only one going through this! I recently decided to quit my job of 7 years - mostly because it was time for a change and because my new boss was an awful person. So I've been staying home with my daughter full-time now and this was my first week home. I've enjoyed it, but am having a hard time coping with the change. I have a ton of guilt in all directions: I feel that I don't really know if I want to do anything in my Bachelor's degree anymore, and that makes me feel guilty because my parent's helped me pay for college (although my mom has always said just do what makes you happy). Honestly I really don't know AT ALL what I want to do with the rest of my life...let alone the next year! I had guilt when I was working that I couldn't see my daughter all day, and now I have guilt that I am not contributing for income (which we will need sooner or later). I just feel completely lost. And this is just the first week being home! The past few months I've been reading about career changes and how to find your passion and make money doing it. My attitude changes every day. Some days I am having a blast playing with my daughter and days like today I just feel "blah!" I've been searching for new jobs closer to home and have already received a job offer, but the hours (mostly weekends and I can't find daycares in the area open on weekends!) and pay are not do-able. Anyways, I just had to get that out and hopefully someone will have a little advice!

[merrr]

Just sent you a PM

[ReneeW]

Maybe you could start working part time in an area that interests you to see how much you actually like the work and then go from there. I think there are many resources/programs out there to find your areas of strength, interest, etc., so doing a couple of exercises/programs may help you determine what might be a good fit too.

For me, when my DD1 was 1 YO I realized that after paying child care, it was pretty much a wash -- my take home pay was minimal after taking out taxes and paying for daycare. Like a couple of dollars an hour. YIKES. Not worth it. So I started working part time and on two of the days my DH or in-laws would watch the kids so that I'd actually have some money coming in. Now that the kids are a little older I'm able to work while they're at school / preschool and the day or so when I need to pay for childcare it's cheaper since they're older--thank goodness.

[dara1012]

I was just thinking the other day that I feel like I am going through a mid-life crisis. Not in terms of re-defining who I am or that sort of thing, but really struggling with coming to terms about it being time to move on at work and not knowing what to do next. We are also wrestling with whether to have another child or have DS be an only.

I don't have any advice, but want you to know that you are not alone.

I find this parody of Fun's "We are Young" to be very telling right now...it's called "We're Not Young"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1ZoEsVZBSM

[ilovemybooboo]

dara- We have also thought of either having another child or not. The older DD gets, the less I want another one! I know in the long run she'd love a sibling (my husband was an only child and he doesn't want her to be an only child). I know right now wouldn't be the best time to bring another little one into our stressful lives. I think for some reason I think of more children=more stress=more marital issues=less happiness=another crisis! Hopefully within the next few months I will find a new job opportunity that will make our lives a bit less stressful. One week down with being home with my DD full-time and I feel much better about relaxing and enjoying this and not worrying so much about finding another job right away. We'll see what the next week brings!

[dara1012]

Lovemybooboo-- I think we might be the same person, except I didn't quit my job - DH was an only and never wanted DS to be an only but now he is not so sure.

With DS being 4 1/2 the idea of starting over at ground zero w/ a baby is not very attractive. We watch my nephew (10 months) enough to be reminded of how much work they are for a long time and adding one more big thing like that to mix when I am in grad school and work FT is not a good option.

Glad to hear that you are enjoying being home w/ DD right now....hope that helps you feel less stressed.

[doeeyedgirl]

I'm beginning to think that I am right along with you. I am currently looking for a new job, but can't quit because we can't survive without the income. I have recently come to the conclusion that I hate my job, but it's the majority of what I know. I have been in banking for 10+ years. I just fell into the comfort level of it all. I have no idea what I want to do. I would love to have a daycare, but DH won't allow it. We are currently trying for a new baby, but my mind goes a hundred miles an hour on that one, too, with the same thoughts that you ladies have. I'm so glad that you are starting to enjoy your time off with your little one.
Maybe we should start a 30's support group. LOL!
@dara - LOVED the parody!

[onlyoneboy]

So my kids are 7 years apart the youngest is now 5 months. And I am so grateful for the age difference. There is now way I would have been able to handle having my kids close together. DS1 is a great help and loves having such a little brother to look after.