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Fears
Sept 9, 2012 21:53:51 GMT -6
Post by quirky22 on Sept 9, 2012 21:53:51 GMT -6
I don't really understand this feeling, but I wanted to get your reaction. My sister is sending her DD to preschool tomorrow, and has SEVERE anxiety about it. She's always been a little spastic (in my opinion) where her DD is concerned. While having a conversation tonight with my sister, she shared some of her fears with me. Like, WHO is going to be looking after her DD. These are complete strangers, and when they go on field trips, who will watch DD and make sure that she doesn't get lost, or left? I tried reassuring her (since my DD was in a preschool program for 1/2 a year last year, I don't have these fears, and never really did) letting her know that these teachers are trained, certified, licensed professionals. I don't know that it did any good. I get being a little sad, and such when your "baby" starts school, but I think she's a little crazy. Maybe this is just how it's always going to be. She paid a fee (not really sure how much) to have a back ground check done (school required) so she can accompany her DD on field trips this year! (they will probably only go on 1-3) She wants to go on these trips because she is worried about the care of her DD. I don't really know how her daughter will EVER lead a normal childhood, when my sister is SO OVERPROTECTIVE! It's got to be suffocating. IMO- this is a GREAT learning experience for her DD, and she really NEEDS it. She is SO sheltered.... Have you or someone you know had this sort of reaction to their child starting school? For the record, I can't wait until DD starts school!! I'm counting the days!!!!
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Fears
Sept 10, 2012 4:35:25 GMT -6
Post by sharon on Sept 10, 2012 4:35:25 GMT -6
Well, as an early childhood educator I have encountered many reactions over the years and yes, some parents are really very anxious about preschool. I give her kudos - it's hard to do something you are that afraid to do- so I'm glad she is sending her. Hopefully it will be a great experience for all and that will build her confidence and allay her fears. I hope it's a school where they are sensitive to parents' emotional needs and that they take her under their wing and give her lots of reassurance. In our school a parents who was nervous would get a call in the middle of the morning at least the first few days to check in and let them know how their child was doing, some things he/she was playing, that sort of thing. We've had some parents who couldn't bring themselves to leave the building at first, and we supported them until they got to the point where they could. I think there are usually reasons someone is this anxious about leaving their child in the care of someone else, but in the end, it doesn't really matter why. You have to meet people where they are.
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Fears
Sept 10, 2012 4:36:12 GMT -6
Post by sharon on Sept 10, 2012 4:36:12 GMT -6
And LOTS of parents get super nervous about field trips and insist on coming along. That's not unusual at all IME.
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Fears
Sept 10, 2012 9:03:48 GMT -6
Post by bumblebee23 on Sept 10, 2012 9:03:48 GMT -6
Sounds to me like your sister has lots of anxiety which also results in fear in certain situations. I was terrified to send my oldest to Kindergarden (he didn't go to preschool). I was bullied as a kid, I also had several adults hurt me. Then when it was time to send my child to school with a bunch of strangers it was really hard. I had to start seeing my therapist more often. I didn't want him being bullied like I was. Not to mention leaving with him perfect strangers and not knowing what was happening through out the day. Also most teachers are awesome but there are often lots of stories in the news of teachers abusing their power with children and those stories tend to stick with parents that already have high levels of anxiety.
Your sister may be smothering her kid but maybe not for reasons you are thinking. It's terrifying letting them break away and then worrying whether someone will hurt them. Anxiety/fear is not an easy thing to live with. At least she is sending her to preschool and not keeping her at home which is a huge thing to do for someone with that level of anxiety.
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Fears
Sept 10, 2012 9:58:44 GMT -6
Post by ReneeW on Sept 10, 2012 9:58:44 GMT -6
Most of my friends also have those fears from time to time. It's hard to put your precious child's life into someone else's hands. I think your sister will get used to it with time and grow more comfortable with her child being at school. For me, I do a lot of praying and just try to maintain faith that most people are good, and that statistically speaking, my kids will be safe when they're at school. It's a hard balance, isn't it? On the one hand, I want my kids to live life fully, have adventures, and really grow into becoming their true individual selves. On the other hand, I want to wrap them in bubble wrap and not let them out of the house without me until they're 30!!!
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Fears
Sept 10, 2012 20:24:27 GMT -6
Post by quirky22 on Sept 10, 2012 20:24:27 GMT -6
Thanks Ladies, makes sense! I know she butted heads with our dad a lot growing up, and now we both have removed him from our lives. MAYBE that's where her fears comes from. I truly believe she should see a therapist, but I don't know how to tell her that.........
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Fears
Sept 11, 2012 8:40:33 GMT -6
Post by bumblebee23 on Sept 11, 2012 8:40:33 GMT -6
Just be honest and tell her, Look I notice you have a lot of anxiety and that must be hard to deal with and I have heard talking to a therapist can really minimize the effects of anxiety even without meds. Then ask her if she has ever thought about seeing one. Get the dialoge going and let her know you have been concerned and think it might be worth looking into.
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