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Post by gwensmama9206 on Sept 10, 2012 12:42:52 GMT -6
So pretty sure all of you know my situation with TH or at least the main points of what happened there.... Well over the past month or so DD has been crying all the time. Just breaking down because she misses TH & DSD and wants to see them. I'm not sure what to do I've thought about possibly meeting up with him and the kids at a park so they could see each other but I don't know. It's a lot easier for me to just not see him, not be around him. I'm afraid if I do meet up with him my emotions will get the best of me and I just don't know if I can handle that. Either I'll get super depressed and be in tears or I'll get angry and pop him one. And it doesn't help that he was texting me last week saying that he's been thinking about us and the kids a lot. Ugh I'm such a mess from this kid Any advice would be great.... TIA
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Post by onlyoneboy on Sept 10, 2012 12:45:37 GMT -6
I don't have any advice for you. When was the last time DD saw TH and DSD?
Hopefully it will all work out in the end for you.
Hugs!
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Sept 10, 2012 12:55:48 GMT -6
That's SO tough. It's never easy to watch children come to those kinds of realizations. I guess the thing you need to ask yourself is, 'Do you want Gwen involved with TH for ever and does TH want that?' If not, then a discussion would be wise to have with her and just explain the situation. Maybe try to do some fun mommy/daughter things in replace of that time to help ease her into the change. And if you decide that you do and TH agrees, then maybe some scheduled time would be good. I know that he isn't very reliable, but maybe it could be done. And as far as DSD goes, I know you have a relationship with Amy. Maybe you gals could schedule something together instead of depending on him?
I have been there. Stay strong and know that you will always make the right decision when it comes down to it. Kids are very adaptable and once she comes to an understanding, things will settle down. Just remember, 'This, too, shall pass'.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Sept 10, 2012 14:01:35 GMT -6
If you don't feel comfortable being around him then don't be. I know things are hard on your daughter but try to work something else out with him. Like you meeting him and that park and leaving him with the kids for a couple hours or something. Nobobdy is saying you need to stay.
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Post by quirky22 on Sept 10, 2012 20:20:34 GMT -6
You have seem to being doing ok w/o him. (just my observation!) Your posts seem to be much more positive....and what I've read of more private post, (on here, not FB) he seems to be not such a responsible, reliable person. I am in no means telling you what to do, but if I were in your position, I guess I would try to remember exactly why you are where you are. (cheating, lying, drugs...) And last, but not least, take care of YOU and those 2 beautiful babies FIRST! <3 you!
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Post by dara1012 on Sept 11, 2012 21:08:49 GMT -6
I know this is really hard for you, but you need to remember why you are not with him and protect you and your children.
If DD is missing DSD I would suggest talking to DSD's mom and finding a time for them to play and eliminating TH from the equation.
Hang in there and stay strong.
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Post by sharon on Sept 12, 2012 4:33:22 GMT -6
First of all, I just want to add my love and support here to all those surrounding you with it already. I don't know the details, but I know you deserve people in your life who value you and treat you well and it sounds like this guy is not it.
Second of all, keep in mind that being the parent doesn't always mean giving a child what she wants. Just like if she wanted only candy for breakfast or a toy that was not your values, you would empathize that she wants them but would not get them for her because it was not what you chose for her. Those are easy but when a child wants something that some part of us wants to, then it gets to us more and makes us question, I think.
You CAN chose to be sensitive to her feelings and empathetic and still decide, as the parent, who knows more and sees the big picture, that not reconnecting with him right now is what is the right choice for your family.
Sometimes parenting isn't about fixing it, but just listening.
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Post by elizac on Sept 12, 2012 6:14:37 GMT -6
What good and wise words, Sharon!
We all stand behind you and with you, Gwensmama!
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