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Post by bumblebee23 on Sept 26, 2012 8:16:21 GMT -6
Many of you have younger kids than mine are, some older so I suppose for those of you with older kids you might be able to answer this question for me.
My youngest boy is 8yrs old and I have been becoming increasingly concerned about his behavior. He has been becoming extremly angry and will stomp through the house slamming doors, throwing things around, and once got mad at a friend and punched the garbage can resulting in split and bloody nuckles. He is also always saying things like so and so made me mad and I was so close to punching him.
He has been ultra sensitive lately and I will try to explain things to him and he will be yelling back arguing with me then explode screaming that everyone hates him and nobody cares about him. I also can't ask him to do anything without him breaking down in tears saying it will take forever to finish even though without his tantrum it would only take 20 minutes or so.
I at first thought this was because he wasn't getting enough sleep. Or maybe I was just in denile. I am beginning to think more and more that he is depressed. This terrifies and upsets me to know end. Ever since they were babies I knew that depression could be genetic and I seriously hoped this wouldn't happen. I think my son has inherited my depression. As I write this I am crying. I did this to my son. I hate this. It is hard enough living with it myself but knowing that my son is going to have to deal with this to is just heartbreaking.
I guess I am getting ahead of myself. I haven't acutally taken him in yet but his behavior isn't leaving much of a question. My question however is has your child ever seen a child phsycologist? I was 12yo when I started therapy but he is a few years younger. I have also heard that antidepressants can be highly dangerous for kids. Does anyone have any experience or insight for me. Thanks!
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Post by onlyoneboy on Sept 26, 2012 8:22:08 GMT -6
So sorry to hear you are going thru this Mo.
My DS1 has been going to a psychologist for almost a year. He goes for issues related to his ADHD/ODD and what I suspect will eventually be diagnosed as Asperberger's. We do family therapy with him, so DH and I meet with the doc first then DS1 meets then we all meet together. This has made a huge improvement in DS1 life. I am all for therapy and think we should use everything we can to help our children. I know some of my family doesn't agree with the way we raise DS1 but they don't live with him and don't know his quirks like DH and I do.
Good Luck and get him in to see someone as soon as you can.
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Post by laurac on Sept 26, 2012 8:26:09 GMT -6
I'm sorry you are going through this, Mo.
DD goes to see a therapist and has ever since we found out she was raped. She also is on a mild anti-depressant and really what it has done for her is smooth out the rough edges. There isn't a pill to cure being a 16 yo girl, believe me I wish there was! The 16 stuff is welcomed after everything she has been through!
You didn't do this to him just like whoever didn't do it to you. It is what it is and lucky for you that you can recognize it and not punish him for back talking and throwing tantrums. He doesn't like feeling like this any more than you like the behaviour. Take him in. It can only help him.
You're a great mom, Mo.
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Sept 26, 2012 8:57:31 GMT -6
Oh, Mo. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this hurdle in life.
Please know that you didn't do this to him. None of us can control the chemicals in our body and sometimes that is what it comes down to. A chemical imbalance. I can only imagine what your son is dealing with. I deal with some of that anger with my anxiety. It isn't fun and it isn't any more controllable than when the sun rises and sets. Take him in. It couldn't hurt. Maybe therapy is all he needs. Maybe he gets angry because he doesn't quite understand how to verbalize his feelings. Not everything needs to be solved with medication. And remember, they are the professionals. If it comes down to medication, they don't want harm to come to your child any more than you do. Prayers go out to you. I hope you can find a solution soon. Stay strong. Like LC said, you are a great mom.
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Post by deannemdm on Sept 26, 2012 14:28:01 GMT -6
My Dd sees therapist-- she has anger issues (gets angry, cannot speak and is shaking she is so made age 11) she has also pulled out her eyebrows last fall-- she is ADD and with the anxiety (eyebrow thing) relating to math (she says) is now on low dose antidepressant that can also be used for anxiety. She does have some other mood issues (highs and lows)-- Maybe have MD check thyroid levels I have heard some people the eliminated certain food additives and saw a behavior change as a result (articfical colors, gluten, artificial sweeteners, etc)
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Post by lilmermaid on Sept 26, 2012 20:22:43 GMT -6
No advice just sending you big hugs! You are a great mom and I agree about not blaming yourself!
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Post by cakemakermom on Sept 27, 2012 7:15:14 GMT -6
Sometimes I still have to hold onto my son (literally) when he's trying to throw a tantrum. He'll calm down enough for us to discuss what his actions were and why they were not appropriate.
I haven't started any of the kids with therapists though. If you feel that will help, by all means, do so! It may help the both of you figure out what is happening in his mind and how you can help him through his emotions.
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Post by merrr on Sept 28, 2012 8:53:10 GMT -6
Dr. In-Lin Tuan, West Clinic, HealthPartners Dr. Amy Nygaard, Woodbury Clinic, HealthPartners Dr. Elizabeth Reeve, St. Paul Clinic, HealthPartners All three women are excellent and I know them personally. With where you live I'd start with Dr. Tuan. Wishing you the best and lots of hugs
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Post by bumblebee23 on Oct 1, 2012 7:59:46 GMT -6
Thanks everyone! I know it's not really my fault but being I am the one that has lived with depression and it is hereditary it is still hard not to blame myself for giving it to him. I know depression in children can translate to rage and anger. I don't know what is going on with him but I have been looking into child physcologists in my area and am hoping to get him an appointment soon.
Thanks for all your support! I might really be needing it for awhile.
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