6 yo defiant peeing himself during the day

[cakemakermom]

Last year my ds was in kindergarten. He had No problems going to the bathroom during the day. At night is a different problem, but I'm pretty sure at night is medical.

He's 6 now and starting a couple weeks into summer, he decided to start peeing himself during the day. Obviously he can go all day long without peeing himself, he's proven that to us for a couple of years, but now he doesn't go a full day without peeing his pants. I know during the day isn't medical, it's mental and he'd doing it to defy me and get the negative attention.

Obviously I have to stop reacting as much as I do when he does it, which is hard because it's frustrating that he doesn't even acknowledge that he does it, I'll notice an hour later sometimes that he smells like pee. Then he lies about having done it.

I know some of you have gone through the same things, whether it's at a younger age with the kids or older. How did you handle it?

I got a few suggestions, like get a timer and make him go once an hour to begin with. Give him a lot of positive praise when he goes all day without peeing himself. I plan on not letting him go places if he can't stay dry, I just can't go out and hope he doesn't pee himself... too much pressure on me to make sure he stays dry. He already lost the going out to the homecoming parade tonight, and we haven't even started the day! I didn't have time to have him change himself before going on the bus, he had to go to school wet.

How did you get through this defiance with the body phase?

[merrr]

That is difficult. I have to wonder if something has changed in his enviroment that is causing him to want to avoid going out and about and, mentally, if he pees he knows he won't have to go out.

DD had some issues before she started school when she was at daycare. She was so busy playing with the kids she didn't realize that she needed to take a potty break. It's been YEARS so I don't remember how we got through it but it did work itself out eventually.

[quirky22]

Sounds SO familiar! DD is 4.5 and would wet herself 4-5 times a day! It is VERY frustrating.....I tried everything....threats, cutting off her liquid intake, took toys away each time she peed, and she'd have to have a dry day to earn 1 toy back....reminding her to potty every 30 mins, and try even if she said she didn't have to go. I even got so tired that I would put her in a pull up ( i learned I was inabling her) I was tired of washing clothes all the time because she ran out of underwear. I even had her tested for a UTI. Finally, about 2 weeks ago, she said she wanted this toy at the store, and I told her if she stayed dry at school all week (she was even peeing her pants at school, and didn't care if she sat in wet clothes!!) that I would buy her the toy. she stayed dry at school AND at home. It's now been 12 days and she has only had 1 accident!!! (remember, it was 4-5 times a DAY.) I did tell her that I could take the toy away as quickly as I bought it.
I KNOW how you feel!!! And was told so many times to "hang in there." Hope my story helps?
HANG IN THERE!!!!!!!

[cakemakermom]

Thanks for your story! I've also told him that if he can stay dry for a whole week, I'll bring him out just me and him (he's such a momma's boy) and do anything he wants (within reason and my budget). I have emailed his teacher now also and am hoping to hear from her soon.

We have a chart for the things he has been having issues doing, the peeing thing, brushing his teeth without playing, taking his daily medicine before going to bed and basic no whining or yelling when asked to do things. I know it works for him when he can see those days checked off.

[sharon]

So frustrating! I'm so sorry! It sounds like you are having him change and clean himself up, which is my only idea off the top of my head. But I'll keep thinking.

[apryllraye87]

I was going to say the same thing as Sharon. I've heard that if you make them clean the mess themselves they won't like it and stop doing it

[cakemakermom]

He has to change himself. I'm tempted to make him help with laundry, but he already does that with me. He's way too old for me to be cleaning him and is getting into the privacy stage with not liking mommy to be in the same room as him while he's naked.

I got the timer today and have had it go off twice today. Tomorrow will be a whole day with it.

He's missed out on a couple of things so far that were already planned as a family and hopefully he'll see that the things he wants to do can't be done if he's constantly peeing himself. Yesterday he peed himself just before getting on the bus, which is weird as he always goes to the bathroom as soon as he gets up, but I made him go to school and change there. I called the nurse to make sure he changed. Today he's only peed himself once. Hopefully tomorrow will be a dry day.

[sharon]

How have the past couple of days been?

[cakemakermom]

He stayed dry all day yesterday with the alarm going off, but today he has been wet twice that I know of.

We'll take it one day at a time.