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Post by apryllraye87 on Oct 2, 2012 8:44:10 GMT -6
I'm back again with more behavioral problems :/ It seems as if DS has been acting out due to the recent changes in our home but I'm at a loss of what do to at this point!
DS has never been allowed to bring toys/candy/money to school. However, he has always tried. They weren't as strict about it at his preschool but at his new school they are. I have now received two e-mails from his teacher that he has brought toys/money to school. I have started checking his backpack and pockets before we leave but somehow he had still been managing to sneak them to school.
In the morning I bring him to our neighbors house when I leave for work and she gets him on the bus. We have a keypad lock on our house and he knows the code so apparently the last two mornings he has been telling her that he "forgot something" and going in the house to get things (which explains how he was getting them to school). He lies to her and says that I know he is going in there and that I said he could. I also brought a bag of snacks over there for him to eat in the morning (he gets breakfast at school but that's about an hour after he gets dropped off). I found out that last week that he told her that his teacher said he doesn't get breakfast at school anymore because he was trying to get her to give him more snacks.
During the week his dad or his aunt or uncle get him off the bus. When I come home he will tell me that they didn't give him a snack/treat (he gets one gogurt after school before dinner). When I tell him that I'm going to call them and ask he says "NO DON'T CALL THEM!! BUT THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME ONE!!" They've also told me that he lies to them and says that I told him he could have candy/ice cream before dinner, or that I said he could ride his bike in the street, watch inappropriate tv shows, etc. They know full well I never told him those things so he doesn't get his way but he still continues to lie about it.
He lies about so many little (& sometimes big) things now. When I call him out on it he becomes extremely upset and yells and cries and tries to convince me that he isn't lying, when I know that he is. I've explained to him over and over again that he is going to get in more trouble for lying than if he tells the truth. I've tried putting "no telling lies" & "no sneaking" on his chore chart, taking away toys, talking to him about it, I even threw away all of the candy in the house, but nothing is working.
I don't know how to break him of these habits but I'm exhausted. His teacher and the neighbor are good at communicating with me so I know he is doing these things but I don't know how to get him to stop.
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Post by quirky22 on Oct 2, 2012 9:29:47 GMT -6
get him the book "the boy who cried wolf"- I think the change of his dad not being there may factor into his behavior. Have you thought about taking him to a therapist?
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Post by bumblebee23 on Oct 2, 2012 10:40:23 GMT -6
It sounds to me like he is purposely trying to push your buttons to see what he is able to get away with....and really all I have found is to continue talking to him/punishing him for lieing and eventually he will get sick of it and stop.
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Post by cakemakermom on Oct 2, 2012 10:56:59 GMT -6
Remind him that you talk to these people that he's lying to and that you will find out when he's lying. Be sure to keep in communication with the neighbor, your ex and whoever else he's in contact with when you're not there. Eventually he'll figure out that you're not going to give into his little lies and stop. Just like with every other behavior that you've had to go through, consistency is the key.
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Post by cwolbeck on Oct 4, 2012 13:23:56 GMT -6
Sit him down and write out a list of things he can and cannot do when someone else is watching him. Focus on the positive (like you get one snack after school but no more so you don't ruin your dinner). Make copies and give to everyone that is involved. Explain to him it is so no one is confused about the rules. If he is involved in the process he might be more apt to follow the "rules".
Sorry about your struggles.
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Post by apryllraye87 on Oct 5, 2012 13:08:03 GMT -6
That's a great idea CW! If he knows that everyone is on the same page maybe he won't be so likely to try and get away with something else. I've also been taking one toy every time I catch him in a lie. I give him one chance to try again and tell me the truth and if he still lies I will take away a toy. I haven't gotten to the point of throwing them away, but they go in a garbage bag in our spare bedroom until further notice.. I also ordered the boy who cried wolf on Amazon.. hopefully the combination of everything will work! Thanks ladies  |
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