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Post by ilovemybooboo on Oct 19, 2012 20:30:49 GMT -6
This might turn into a vent of a severely hormonally challenged, tired, cranky, sexually frustrated woman. UGH. So I have PCOS (polycystic ovaries) so my hormones are unbalanced. The usual treatment for it is being on the pill...which takes away the cysts and acne, but makes me very angry and NO libido. So I got off the pill a few months ago and still have NO libido. In the past 2 weeks I have tried a new natural supplement I was researching to help balance my hormones. This brought on extreme acne which puts me in an even WORSE mood and a -200% libido. I just feel so disconnected from my emotions AND my husband. This is soooo frustrating. I just want to feel like a frickin' woman again! I'm not overweight, I eat ok, I exercise. I don't know whether to go back to my endocrinologist and complain some more (even though I'm sure her answer will be to go back on the pill)...or see a natural doctor/herbalist....or just live like this the rest of my life?! My DH and I got in a big fight again tonight about it but he doesn't care that we don't have a sex life, but I am soooo sick of feeling this way and do NOT want to live like this forever. How do I fix my sex life and marriage when my body is fighting against it! Grrrrr....I'm 30 years old and feel like I'm a dried up old hag.
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Post by quirky22 on Oct 19, 2012 21:30:32 GMT -6
I know that when a man doesn't have the desire, he literally CAN'T do IT, but is it different for a woman? (please don't take this personally, but I am being real) I know it probably doesn't help that your DH isn't bothered that you sex life doesn't exist.
I don't know personally what it's like to never have the desire, but I know what it's like when your SO doesn't want to.
It's probably a good idea to talk to your DR about it, again. this time, DON'T take no for an answer. Tell her what you've said here.
I wish you the best of Luck. I hope you get it figured out.....
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Post by ReneeW on Oct 19, 2012 21:36:22 GMT -6
I would get a second opinion (or third or fourth or more). I don't know much about PCOS, but I would think you could try other brands of bc pills to see if one works better than another (or at least doesn't kill your libido and leave you constantly furious). As far as sex drive, I believe there are more options out there for women but it sounds you're not getting all of them. For example, a friend of mine was on some kind of cream (maybe testosterone?), and I heard on a talk show once that even Viagara works for women. Maybe there are reasons your doc isn't mentioning these options, but I'm quite sure there is hope out there, you just need to work with a really top-notch doctor to figure it out. If you like holistic options, maybe you could find a Doctor of Osteopathy or an MD who blends traditional and alternative medicine. Even acupuncture could be worth a try -- but I wouldn't just accept what you're hearing. Or maybe there's a gynecologist who specializes in sexual health or some other type of specialist who would have better options for you!!! Keep looking!
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Post by dara1012 on Oct 19, 2012 22:25:43 GMT -6
I have been on the pill since 18 and in college and early-mid 20's had no problems w/ sex drive. After struggling w/ infertility and eventually having our son and going back on bc pill I have had issues w/ libido. It has been really hard on DH and he tries to be supportive, but just doesn't understand. (note: I have a lot of PCOS symptoms, and the doctor was shocked when my blood work did not show it, but I have definite hormonal regulation issues).
What has helped for me is, planning for sex and thinking about it for a whole day or two. DH focusing on physical affection for a day or two before we plan to have sex, helps get me ready. I also have used vaginal suppositories for lubrication. The more we get into the routine of having sex, the more I naturally "want it". Also once it's planned not making up an excuse not to do it. Sometimes if I am not feeling it, DH and I will have a glass of wine and catch up on the couch, no tv, no computers, no kiddo (he's sleeping at this point) and then go to the bedroom where he'll massage my back some to relax me, eventually I'll be ready for more, but it would have been so easy to say "I'm not feeling it" an hour or so beforehand.
I would definitely talk to your doctor again. My primary physician definitely wants me to have a healthy sex life and when I have shared concerns has worked with me to find things to make it more comfortable or help me be more interested.
Good luck, and don't give up!
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Post by dara1012 on Oct 19, 2012 22:29:05 GMT -6
The other thing that helps is talking about sex w/ girlfriends. In college we used to talk about sex all the time and in my mid-20's too. In the last few years my friendships have shifted and I have hung out more w/ people I work with so we don't talk much about sex (to avoid awkwardness at work). But one of my good friends left my company and works elsewhere and she just started a new relationship and we have started talking about sex. Hearing her "new relationship" sex stories makes me want to have sex w/ DH. So find a girlfriend that you can have open conversation about sex with and maybe both of your sex lives will benefit.
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