|
Post by merrr on Nov 1, 2012 8:12:14 GMT -6
I found out I was pregnant with my daughter two months after my best friend found out she was expecting. She was thrilled, me - not so much. We had just graduated high school and I was scared of what the world would hold and how I would provide for this new life. My girlfriend didn't worry about that, she was just so happy to be pregnant and to become a mommy.
Nine months later the unthinkable happened. Allison Grace was found to be dead in the womb. My girlfriend knew that her baby had died and she still had to give birth.
Attending her daughter's funneral with my 7 month along pregnant belly was one of the hardest things I have done in life. I couldn't help but wonder why it was her child that had passed and not mine. I felt incredibly guilty. It wasn't anyone's fault and logically I knew that but that didn't stop the guilt.
There's hardly a January that goes by that I don't think back to Allison and know that she would have been 13 now, just two months older than my happy and healthy daughter. The guilt is gone but the saddness remains. I share this with you because I want you to know that it is okay for you to feel whatever you may feel as our fellow MOM goes through this painfully difficult time in her life. I am sure that as the years pass those who have children of similar age will look at your own child and wonder what her little girl would look like, what she would be doing, and how the world would have been different if only...
Much love, Merrr
|
|
|
Post by nevaehsmom327 on Nov 1, 2012 9:03:22 GMT -6
Love you Merr.
|
|
|
Post by bumblebee23 on Nov 1, 2012 9:19:30 GMT -6
so sad and so very true!
|
|
|
Post by dara1012 on Nov 1, 2012 10:19:59 GMT -6
Thank you for sharing.
Yesterday I caught myself being frustrated with DS because he just wasn't focusing and listening around bedtime. I stopped myself and remembered that he's 4, he's excited about Halloween and he just wanted my attention. I thought to myself, if something happens to him overnight, do I want the last thing I said to him as his mom to be frustrated words? I pulled him in tight, talked gently to him about his behavior and told him I loved him very much.
While we can never bring sweet Ariella or other angels back, hopefully we will remember with our own children how precious life is and to be a little more patient and love them each and every day. It can be easy to get caught up in some of the more stressful moments of parenting and forget to give thanks for our children. They are not perfect and neither are we.
|
|
|
Post by lilmermaid on Nov 1, 2012 11:12:12 GMT -6
Thanks for sharing Merrr! I had the same thoughts and feelings about my DDs. Life is so very precious!
|
|
|
Post by sarahisis on Nov 1, 2012 13:41:37 GMT -6
Thanks again <3
|
|