Prenatal Care

[quirky22]

Hey Ladies, I am having some concerns, and maybe it's none of my business, but I am hoping for some guidance and advice....

My SIL is about 21 weeks pregnant with her 1st child. I don't believe that she is getting proper prenatal care. Here are my concerns....

She's only been to the dr. 1 time in the 21 weeks of her pregnancy.
She's seeing a GP, rather then a OB. (Yes, I know that a GP can deliver a baby)
She hasn't had any testing done.

She's heard the fetal heartbeat, but basically, that's all. My family has tried talking to her about it, and she blows us off. We try to inform her, and let her know we are concerned....My brother really hasn't said much....(I am 12.5 wks along, and have seen the OB 3x, and have had all prenatal care done possible up to this point.)

My understanding is that she doesn't do the proper prenatal care because she doesn't want the insurance bill (apparently, her medial insurance isn't super right now) It just concerns me because she COULD go, but chooses not to. She won't revisit the Dr. again until the new year......

any advice or suggestions?

[bumblebee23]

Is that the only reason or is she not happy about this pregnancy? When my cousin found out she was pg with her first she was in denial and didn't want to deal with anything associated with her pregnancy. So she totally wasn't prepared when her son was born. Could that be what's going on here?

Has she maybe looked into getting some assitance with medical through the state since she is worried about the high cost? Have you explained to her the importance of going to the OB not just for her sake but for the baby?

[irish]

How is her overall health? Is she taking prenatal vitamins? Does she feel the baby moving frequently? I know some women that chose not to go in until the end because they were feeling great and doing everything that they should be doing, their babies all turned out perfectly. Like Mo said, if she can't afford the care, she should apply for medical assistance. She'll automatically be approved being pregnant.

[deannemdm]

you could also explain that she could be paying now or paying later if the baby has problems from poor prenatal care...

[quirky22]

I think she wanted this baby.....so I don't think it's that. And I don't think she needs the financial assistance....my brother and her both work FT as teachers (of all things) She has recently started feeling the baby move. My mom has actually decided that she's going to talk to my bro and talk to him alone about getting her prenatal care....she has stated that she will still have the baby, birth effects or not.
I don't really see her as one that doesn't care, or want the baby....She is a smart girl, but sometimes I feel like she doesn't have a lot of common sense....KWIM? (makes me wonder what the baby won't have when it arrives if she doesn't want to pay the medical bills.)

She recently started feeling the baby move....She does take a prenatal, she's otherwise healthy. She doesn't have a drinking problem or a drug problem. And never has.... it's just so OUT of the norm for her to be this way.....

[dara1012]

I don't know that it is all that unusual to only be seen once by now if there are no concerns. Any Clinic or GP seeing pregnant women will have a schedule to follow. I was seen early in my pregnancy b/c we had infertility treatment, but otherwise my clinic sees people around 12 wks and then around 20 weeks, then it wasn't until 25 weeks or so. So maybe she is due to go in soon? Scheduling can be hard sometimes if she is working FT as a teacher it might be hard to get into the appts that work for her schedule. Maybe you could talk to her not out of concern but curiosity and see what she says.

[apryllraye87]

Is this her first baby? I have a friend that has 3 other children so when she got pg with her 4th she went to as few visits as possible. She knew the signs to look out for and was comfortable without going to the doctor.

I had a pretty healthy pregnancy so I don't have much to compare it to but when I went in for all of my prenatal visits my OB didn't really do much most of the time.

[angel22]

When I was pg with DD1 I went to every appt starting as SOON as I found out I was pg. There was a lot of time "wasted" and money out the door. With DD2, I went to every appt starting later, week 14 maybe? Same with DD3. I went in when needed but I wasnt' in a rush to start. I opted out of the majority of tests and had only 1 to 2 ultrasounds. I ate well, exercised, took my prenatals, stayed healthy, and paid attention to my body and to the baby. I dont' think it matters if she sees an OB vs GP vs Midwife- it is whatever SHE is most comfortable with. It doens't sound as though you have any reason to be concerned with her well being or with that of the baby. It sounds more like because YOU would do things differently that you feel she is doing things "wrong." I'm sure you're only looking out for her and for the baby but still, it really is up to her how she handles this and if she feels attacked by family it could easily turn nasty quickly. My advise it to just try to stay supportive of her through this. =) I know that it's difficult when you feel passionately about something- we've all been there- but best of luck!

[nevaehsmom327]

I wouldn't really be concerned. Honestly, all the appointments and tests and all that stuff is overwhelming, ESPECIALLY when it's your first child. I'm sure it is scary from your point of view, but if she feels healthy, seems healthy, and isn't having any abnormalities with the baby AND is willing to love it regardless, just let her be.

[betherin]

My entire family (DH, myself, and the boys) go to a family practice clinic and all the see the same doctor. She is our pediatrician, OB, etc....I love it! Anyways, for both my pregnancies I went in at 12 weeks to hear the heartbeat and then not again until around the 21st or 22nd week after I had an ultrasound. As long as she is feeling fine and the baby seems healthy there really isn't a need to have a lot of appointments in my opinion. As she gets further along I would expect she goes to more appointments though.

[camilla]

In lots of countries you don't go as often as here my cousin and I were pregnant at the same time and she lives in Denmark. She didn't see a dr very often and if I recall only saw her midwife a handful of times. She was amazed at how often o was going to the doctor. Like a PP said its not like the doctor does all that much during the visits and as long as she is healthy I don't see a problem.