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Post by doeeyedgirl on Dec 6, 2012 8:06:30 GMT -6
Well, after almost 4 years of searching for him, the county has finally tracked down DS2's sperm donor to serve him for contempt in not paying child support. It's something that the county had to pursue because DS2 is on MN Care. Although I think it's kind of a Karma-kicker that his court date is scheduled less than a week before Christmas, I really don't want it. I don't want his money, and I don't want him in our lives. He has seen DS2 twice in his life and the last time was almost 4 years ago. He is a sorry excuse for a human. He doesn't work, mooches off his friends and when that ends, he finds some woman to support him and his alcoholic habits, he has multiple kids he doesn't care for and the list goes on. To DS2, DH has always been DAD. And DH looks at DS2 as his baby.
I am not sure if anyone has been through this before, but DH would like to do a Step-Parent Adoption. We have talked about this much in the past, but now that all of this has kind of been put back to the forefront again, we wanted to do some research to see what this would end up costing us. I know that we can have/suggest SD (sperm donor) to just sign away his rights. But knowing the way that he is and how drama-filled and manipulative this 'man' can be, I know he won't make this easy for us. Does anyone have any advice or possibly a good Family Law Lawyer that you could suggest for us?
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Post by onlyoneboy on Dec 6, 2012 8:13:35 GMT -6
I was just talking to my bosses admin. asst. the other day about this. Her partner adopted their daughter so she now legally has 2 moms. I think she said it cost about 10k to have it all done.
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Post by sharon on Dec 6, 2012 8:24:15 GMT -6
Liz Pierce got our boy his birth certificate. It cost about a thousand dollars. Not sure when you have an arrangment with a known donor if there is more to it. Ours was anonymous so there was no other parental rights. I can get you her contact info though. She was good.
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Dec 6, 2012 8:26:38 GMT -6
Yes, Sharon, it's my term for him because he has never been there for us nor deserves the title of father/dad. I would love her contact info though! Thanks!
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Post by sharon on Dec 6, 2012 8:29:36 GMT -6
Got it. Just an aside- to kids who actually do have donors or to people who are donors- the term isn't an insult.
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Dec 6, 2012 8:33:45 GMT -6
I wasn't meaning it as an insult. I was just pointing out that he doesn't, let's just say qualify, to be called anything more. I have nothing against the term nor the people who do a wonderful thing to provide babies for others. I am thankful that I have my DS2.
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Post by sharon on Dec 6, 2012 8:37:12 GMT -6
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Dec 6, 2012 9:16:22 GMT -6
I'm sorry you're going through all this, and right before christmas! <3 I had a lawyer a few years back, she loves fighting for women and their children. Typically she gets the "dead beat dad" as her case and has to defend that, so she LOVES when she gets women who are fighting for what's best for their children. Her name is Tori Appelhof. Her office is out of Oakdale. Kinda spendy, well, lets be honest, SPENDY. Family lawyers are spendy though. But here's her website: www.aphlaw.com/tori_appelhof_bio.aspxprayers for your family to get through this time my dear! <3
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Dec 6, 2012 11:56:42 GMT -6
Thanks, Amy! I will probably give her a call. This too shall pass, but it just brings it to the front burner faster than our finances were ready. But it really will be the best for DS2. I've been doing a little research and it looks like the best time is now.
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Dec 6, 2012 12:00:53 GMT -6
Just remember to do what's best for him. It's good he has you as his smart mommy, and your DH to call daddy. Lucky lil guy!
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Post by sarahisis on Dec 6, 2012 12:15:25 GMT -6
I'll be prayin that it is quick and painless!! And that it doesn't effect your Christmas!!
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Dec 6, 2012 12:49:11 GMT -6
Thanks, Sarah. The court date is scheduled in December, we don't have to attend; only him. It's just to prove cause as to why he is contempt in paying his support. But it just brings it all to the forefront of our minds. We will probably wait until after the holidays to pursue, but just have to start getting our ducks in a row.
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Dec 7, 2012 11:00:01 GMT -6
I would attend the court date if I were you. Just 1) to make sure he shows up and 2) see what the judge says.
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