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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Dec 18, 2012 15:44:02 GMT -6
Well, after talking a little with some co-workers, I think it's best to just talk to DH and tell him I need a day. To myself. To cry, to smile, to just be myself without judgement, comments, looks, or anything of those sorts. I just need ONE day. If he wants to go to Mankato, by all means, please do. Be with your family, do what you want, but I need MY day. Our kids are gone, I have so much to do still and I just want to have time to myself. I haven't had that since Ari was here, and I just need that. I know he might be upset, but he'll forget about it eventually. And next year, I'll be ready to do the 50 Christmas' thing. But we've already seen his whole family (except one person, who I'm not too fond of) and done the gift exchange part. I'm just wiped. Tired.
So - I'll talk to him tonight. Just prepare him for what MAY come, because who knows, I might wake up Saturday, pack all our crap up and be ready to head down. But, I also want the option to just stay home if I need to.
Thanks for all the advice and help ladies. It means a lot. Today has been one of those "harder" days...so it's greatly appreciated. <3 you all!
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Post by bunsy on Dec 18, 2012 15:46:00 GMT -6
Hugs. One Christmas per family would DEFINITELY be my limit anyway! Your plan sounds great. You aren't leaving anyone out.
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Post by laurac on Dec 18, 2012 15:53:28 GMT -6
I like your plan ,too.
Love from ALL of us.
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Post by alipski on Dec 18, 2012 17:43:56 GMT -6
Good plan. You need to take care of you. Hugs!
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Post by lilmermaid on Dec 18, 2012 17:59:17 GMT -6
Good plan! It's very hard for people to understand that you live with this every single day! You see it every day. That was one thing we learned when SIL passed away suddenly, BIL and nephew lived with it every day while the rest of us didn't see all the memories, etc. every day so we could move on easier and grieve faster. Unless you have been through something like this you don't really understand it. Hang in there!!!!
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Dec 19, 2012 9:45:09 GMT -6
Didn't get a chance to talk to him last night. He was not having a good day either, and I'd just rather bring it up when he's not feelin down already.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Dec 19, 2012 10:03:00 GMT -6
Everyone should understand if you don't want to attend these functions and nobody should hold it against you. And maybe it's just your DHs way of dealing with things himself....by surrounding himself with family and trying his best to move on/keep busy so his mind isn't constantly on the horrible events of this year. Everyone has there own way of dealing with things. I think if you don't want to go though you shouldn't go. Now is the time to take care of you and what you need. (((Hugs)))
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