Bullying and Harassment

[lilmermaid]

This comes from my DH's weekly crime prevention tips:

Facts about Bullying and Harassment

Bullying and harassment takes lots of forms and bullies keep bullying as long as it works – as
long as it makes them feel more powerful. Many children and teens are bullies or victims of bullies,
but the largest number of children and teens are bystanders – witnesses to bullying.

Bullying begins in elementary school, peaks in middle school, and falls off in high school. It does not,
however, disappear altogether.

Girls can be bullies too, although bullying by girls is more likely to
show up as spreading rumors, leaving people out of social events, teasing about clothes or
boyfriends, or threatening to withdraw a friendship.

Adults Need to Know:
160,000 children skip school every day because they fear being attacked or intimidated by
other students.

The U.S. Department of Justice states that 37% of all students don’t feel safe at school.

The National Institute of Health reports that a third of students in 6th to 10th grades nationwide
experienced some kind of bullying.

90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying.

Students reported 71% of the teachers or other adults in the classroom ignored bullying
incidents.

One in six children who bully will have a criminal record before the age of 24.

Although much bullying happens where adults cannot see or hear it, it also happens when
adults are present. Often adults don’t do anything to stop the bullying.

When asked, students uniformly expressed the desire that teachers intervene rather than
ignore teasing and bullying.

Resources:
• www.mcgruff.org

• www.ncpc.org

• www.nssc1.org

• www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov

• www.colorado.edu

[laurac]

I whole heartedly agree with this report. It's happened to my darling daughter and I know a guy who's a teacher in middle school and he puts his head down and walks to his classroom so as not to get involved in the bullying at school. One whisper of a rumor of inpropriety on his part and his career is over. Not that that makes it right, IMO. He's the same one who said he and his wife will go without so his kids can have all the name brand clothes so they don't get bullied. Well, they also better not have a speech impairment, wear glasses, have a funny laugh, hang out with the wrong person, etc. So so many reasons why people bully. and then the schools have these anti-bullying task forces for parents and the parents that show up aren't the parents of the bully-ers!

It all starts at home. When are these parents going to get that? That it IS their kid that is the mean one?

[laurac]

This topic makes me HOT!

[ReneeW]

Wow, these statistics are certainly eye openers. And very, very sad ... 37% of kids don't feel safe? NINETY percent of kids grades 4 to 8 are bullied? Holy shmoley that is absolutely unacceptable. DD1's school has a very integrated anti-bully program at her school and they discuss the issue with the kids, have posters, send memos home, sign "no bully" agreements etc. etc. frequently. It will be interesting to see if all of the programming and resources they are utilizing makes a difference. I hope they do and help reduce incidents of bullying because it's obviously a huge, huge problem. DD1 is a very sensitive kid and I can see that she could easily become a victim because she's sweet, fairly quiet, a bit passive ... a great kid but one who could be a target for a bully, whether a boy or girl. So ... geez louise I hope these stats change for the better in the years to come. It's just not right.

[ReneeW]

LC, what tactics/ strategies did you and your DD take when she was being bullied?

[laurac]

We went to the Asst Principal, we went to her counselor, the school police liason was involved. They dropped the ball. When you find out your kid is hiding in the bathroom and skipping class and bawling her eyes out because these d-bags feel better about themselves for hurting your kid, then you def go running in and take it to the top. We pulled her from the school and switched schools where nobody knows her story and she's just the transfer kid.

It's been a horrific 2 years and while she is finally on the road to recovery, she will never get over that.

[sarahisis]

Girls can definitely be bullies... I actually think that girls are worse that boys... I think that emotional and verbal and mental bullying is worse than getting hit in the face.

My twin cousins (16yrs old in a couple weeks) lost a friend to suicide a year ago because she was SO very bullied by another girl! SOO sad. It makes me Very angry

[onlyoneboy]

DS1 is a target in his school because of his mental health issues. We have a good relationship with the principle already and he does step in when ever DS1 ask's for help.

[lilmermaid]

DD1 was bullied last year by a girl who say next to her and was new to the school. Unfortunately the teacher she had was old school(retired last year) and was clueless! Thankfully DD1 had to be moved due to her hearing issues.

[apryllraye87]

DS was being bullied on his bus, another boy was hitting him in the face, pushing him down into the seats and not letting him up. After I told me I talked to his bus drive and the boy now has an assigned seat at the front of the bus. Apparently he had received complaints from other parents about the same child.

I dread DS getting older and having to deal with more bullying. He's very sensitive and I have a feeling that middle school will be harder for me than it his for him. Kids are mean, even at his age I've seen children at the park that have been nasty to him for no reason at all. My mom was bullied as a child so my brother and I grew up learning not ever treat someone badly but there are so many kids that bully and the parents don't think anything of it.

[dara1012]

I remember in elementary school (5th & 6th grades) when a group of girls I had been "friends" with since preschool would get together each week on the playground and vote on who couldn't be in the group that week. It wasn't outright "bullying" in the traditional sense but it was mean-spirited and emotionally damaging.

I worry about bullying as DS gets older, he is a very sensitive child like Apryll described her DS and is also small for his age and as he gets older I won't be there to observe and help navigate those peer interactions. The other day one boy in his pre-k class kicked one of his friends and DS made his friend a card to say "sorry" and "you are my friend", he is such a sweet kid that I worry he will get taken advantage of.

One of my good friends started CAB (Communities Against Bullying) in Austin, MN after her son was bullied, she is very involved in the anti-bullying movement and was featured on Kare 11 a few months ago and won an award for her work. It is just too bad that there is so much need out there that she has had to pour many, many hours into dealing with this issue for her son and community.