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Post by bumblebee23 on Feb 13, 2013 16:45:42 GMT -6
So we found out the DH's grandmother had to be taken to the hospital because she was having difficulties breathing. Turns out they found a couple masses on her lung. They did something called a PET scan to find out if it was cancerous and it is. They are talking about doing a biopsy but because of her other health conditions they are saying it is a very risky procedure. She has COPD and Parkinson Disease. From what I can gather the Drs are giving her 6 months if she does nothing and another 6weeks to 6months with chemo. However, because of her health conditions they don't think chemo will even help her. I am concerened because it sounds like her children are already trying to talk her into doing chemo when she does want it. Not only does it sound like she doesn't want it but how is it going to improve her quality of living? Chemo is just going to make her extremely sick if not be fatal to her with her other health conditions. Why do they want her to live that way if it will only extend her life up to 6 extra months? I understand they are her kids but if you knew them and how they treated her and her husband. They basically ignore them, the son says terrible things to them, and they never want to be around to just see them or help out when needed. I am also worried about what is going to happen to grandpa once grandma is gone. The are a pair and he has already been depressed since they lost the house and had to move and had to give up their dog. I worry about how he is going to handle all this. I'm not really the praying kind but if you could send good vibes or whatever it is you do. I just want the "children" to come to terms with grandmas decision and let her die as peacefully as possible, thoughts that she doesn't suffer to much, that grandpa will be ok after grandma is gone. The first time I met this women she was on her death bed but she was a fighter. I have come to love her like she was my own grandmother. My heart is very heavy and said with all this news.
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Post by sarahisis on Feb 13, 2013 16:57:56 GMT -6
Couple prayers for ya anyways!! Hugs. And lots of good thoughts!!!!
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Post by bunsy on Feb 13, 2013 17:14:56 GMT -6
If you get a chance to speak with her, make sure she has someone looking out for HER interests. Kids always want their parents to live as long as possible--even when it doesn't make sense.
The kids may have to hear it straight from the doctor
I send good wishes. It is SO hard to lose a loved one. But after going through it with FIL last year, I wouldn't want someone I love to suffer long than necessary if there isn't hope of cure.
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Post by dara1012 on Feb 13, 2013 18:34:13 GMT -6
Sending prayers for you and all involved. I hope that her kids can find some peace for her.
If she does not do chemo (which it sounds like would probably be the best for her) I highly recommend getting a referral for hospice and getting them involved. My dad has been a hospice chaplain for 20 years and I have seen first hand how much having hospice involved and the extra support for both the person dying and their family has meant with my aunt who had cancer and a number of my clients who have been dying.
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Post by fungirls on Feb 14, 2013 9:29:51 GMT -6
Praying for you and your family. That is so hard. Like Bunsy said, kids want their parents to be around forever. I like Deb's idea of getting hospice involved as well - they're experts and can help Grandma and the kids, share experiences, etc. Sorry you are going through this
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Post by ballerinamomma on Feb 14, 2013 9:44:46 GMT -6
Sending prayers for you and your family.
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Feb 14, 2013 13:03:37 GMT -6
So sorry to hear that you and your family are having to deal with this. Sending good vibes and hopes that the family comes to terms and respects her wishes. We're here for you!
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Post by lilmermaid on Feb 14, 2013 15:08:06 GMT -6
Thinking of you and your family!
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Post by sharon on Feb 15, 2013 5:33:21 GMT -6
Mo - praying for strength and wisdom for all involved.
It sounds like a really tough situation. I'm with Bunsy and Debbie about trying to find out what SHE wants and getting hospice involved when possible.
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Post by Susan824 on Feb 16, 2013 1:12:44 GMT -6
Sorry to hear the news. I'll say a prayer for her, you and your family.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Mar 1, 2013 15:06:21 GMT -6
Sorry I didn't respond back I had a minor sinus surgery last week.
So as it goes grandma is not doing chemo...she just can't with her other medical conditions and she knows it and doesn't want to try.
Hospice is involved and was from the get go. They have already been out to the house to help her set up extra oxygen lines so she doesn't have to hall the tank around the apartment & have started her on morphine.
Her kids are still acting like idiots. Her one son is trying to force grandma & grandpa to sign over power of attorney and yelling at hospice for starting her on morphine. Her daughter is bitching about the oxygen lines saying that her son can't go over now because of all the lines....so watch your kid! Not good and sad they are acting like that.
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Post by ReneeW on Mar 1, 2013 15:19:44 GMT -6
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that some family members are being difficult. Unfortunately, touch situations do NOT always bring out the best in people, as you are seeing. (Sigh.) But I'm glad to hear that your grandma is taking control of the situation as far as saying no to interventions that she does not want to undergo. Sorry that your family is going through this.
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