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Post by onlyoneboy on Feb 28, 2013 9:31:25 GMT -6
I sent the e-mail exchange to DH along with my thoughts (with help from you). This is what I said to DH: My thoughts: 1. She didn’t just trim his bangs, she cut over an inch off of them and didn’t even make them even. 2. There is no way that I think the best thing for our kids is for them to have no contact with their grandparents. 3. Every decision I make is based on what is best for our kids. Logan does get to have input into our decisions that involve him. 4. I don't want to take the kids away from them, but feel that time spent alone with them should be limited until we can begin to trust them again. If she is having so much mental health issues it is not a good environment for Logan to be in. As we discovered with Ivy (our former daycare provicer) he can feed off of that and make things worse for him. 5. I think her comment about me resenting her is a ploy to make her look good and turn things around on me. 6. Other issues we have had with her include the Christmas eve issue we talked about (she told DH that he needed to come spend Christmas eve with her and bring the boys with and I would have to go to my dad's place with out him and the boys. That didn't happen), her telling me it’s my fault Ryker has reflux because I feed him too much, when she flipped out over Logan not calling her on her birthday and then told you she doesn’t like the way we let Logan make his own decisions. I’m sure there are others but that is what comes to mind right now.
I'll wait and see what DH says to them. My concern right now would be the fact the next time I see them will be at our house for DS2's first birthday party. I don't want to make a scene but if she acts like this I don't know if I'll be able to keep from tossing her @$$ out of my house.
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Post by doeeyedgirl on Feb 28, 2013 9:37:50 GMT -6
Hopefully DH's response will coincide with your feelings and then he will take the ball and use that as his respone to his mom. I think it is very big of you (and I'm sure DH appreciates it, too) that you acknowledge the fact that you aren't trying to take the kids away from her, just trying to make sure that things are safe for your kids. Fingers crossed for you!
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Post by bunsy on Feb 28, 2013 9:48:36 GMT -6
She has "issues". Leave it to DH to communicate with her. As for the party, behave as normal and if she starts something, walk away. If that doesn't work, send DH to deal with her. Don't let her get your goat. Bigger person and all that....
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Post by onlyoneboy on Feb 28, 2013 9:51:27 GMT -6
Thanks ladies, I really appreciate all of your advice. Since I no longer have my mom around to ask when stuff like this comes up, I come to all of you.
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Post by sarahisis on Feb 28, 2013 10:45:50 GMT -6
I'll probably be the only one... but if it was just a little bit of the bangs I don't see it as a big deal.. my MIL did the same thing and I didn't care. I know I know.. principal, but...
let me ask you this... she says that they have felt that you have resented them for everything. true? Have you ever really liked her? I think that maybe there are some issues with her, but making someone feel like they never do anything right, especially when it involves family/grandchildren can make someone mental.
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Post by onlyoneboy on Feb 28, 2013 10:54:28 GMT -6
Sarah - We got along great until DH and I had kids. She doesn't approve with the way DH and I are raising our kids, because it is not the way she raised her kids. She let's me know she doesn't approve and tries to undercut my decisions. She will do things like schedule the boys to do things with out asking if they are available on that day/time first. She assumes we should always be willing to let her see the kids when ever it is convient for them not for us. They are the ones that are retired. She doesn't understand why we have to do certain things for DS1 because he has aspergers and his brain works differentelly than "normal" kids.
If it was just a trim it would not have been as big a deal but she hacked his hair. It was so noticable and looked like crap. The main issue was the fact that she had asked before if she could cut his hair and we told her NO and she went ahead and did it anyway. She is always doing things we ask her not to do.
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