You won't believe what She did! *Update*

[onlyoneboy]

So to add to the saga of my MIL.

Most of you are aware of the hate/controlling relationship I have with my MIL. She has now added to the fire and did manage to tick DH off at the same time.

We dropped DS2 off at their house Saturday afternoon, as they volunteered to watch him for a couple of hours while myself, DH and DS1 went to a childrens' play. Due to car issues (a whole nother story) we are using one of their cars while they are on vacation. DS1 and I left from the play while DH went to get DS2 from the outlaws.

Skip ahead to Sunday since we were so busy Saturday DH took care of DS2 while I was busy with DS1. Sunday morning I'm taking care of DS2 and feeding him breakfast and notice something looks different. His bangs are cut. And I'm not talking a little I'm talking a jagged line ending with between 1 inch to 1/2 inch of hair left. I figure a kid cut his hair so I ask DS1. Nope, I have DH call the outlaws, Yes. My MIL cut my kids hair with out even asking and then tried to cover it up.

Her excuse, the hair was hanging in his eyes and bugging him. Sh said she only ment to cut a little off and didn't realize how short it was until she combed it out. Then she didn't even have the guts to tell DH what happened when he picked DS2 up. She waited until we noticed it then tried to talk her way out of it. REALLY, what grown adult cuts a kids hair with out permission. Now I have to try to get it fixed and have it look good for his 1 year pictures in 2 weeks. Maybe we wanted him to have long hair for his pictures, now we can't.

Atleast DH is as ticked off as I am. He normally is just a go with the flow kind of guy. The outlaws or on vaca for 2 weeks and normally he wouldn't bother them, but, he has told me he plans to e-mail them to let them know how upset he is. For DH, this mean's he is really ticked off.

I'm thinking they will no longer be able to have unsupervised visits with the kids at this point.

I shook for an hour, I was so upset over what happened.

OK, I'll try to let it go now.

**Update***
I sent her an e-mail:
I need to let you know how upset I am over the fact that you cut Ryker’s hair without permission, and then you didn’t even come forward and tell us what you did. Marla, you had asked us in the past if it was ok to cut his hair and we said no. Why did you think it would be ok now? Would you cut one of Julie’s kid’s hair without asking their parents?
This was very disrespectful and crossed the line. I don’t know if I can trust you to not make decisions for my kids. Phil and I are the parents and we are the ones that decide what our kids do and how they wear their hair. How would you feel if someone had cut Phil’s hair when he was just under a year old without your permission? Maybe we wanted to have the option to have Ryker in long hair for his 1 year pictures, now we don’t have that option.
Phil and I are both very upset and mad about this. I need to tell you all this now as to try to be able to control my temper while you are attending his birthday party. This is something that will take me a while to accept and it will take me a while before I am not so mad at you. Please understand where I am coming from. Put yourself in my place.
Phil will also be in contact with you to let you know his feelings on this matter.

This was her response:
I am so sorry for trimming Ryker's bangs. I did not touch any of the rest of his hair, just the few straggly tips that were in his eyes and were really bugging him. Didn't think it was such a big deal. I understand where you are coming from, but don't see it as big a deal as that.

Juli and I have actually trimmed the hair hanging in the eyes of some of her daycare kids without permission, and their parents did not have a problem. I for sure wouldn't cut anything more than that. If someone did that to Phil's when he was little, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. That's why I didn't think about it; it certainly won't happen again.

We have felt for some time now that you resent us for pretty much everything. It's a lose-lose thing for us. I've probably given you the excuse you've been looking for to keep the kids away from us. For that, I am also truly sorry.

[sharon]

Oh wow. Yeah, that definitely crosses the line. I personally would not let them have unsupervised time.

[irish]

Wow, that's just wrong. I agree, no more unsupervised visits.

[lilmermaid]

Oh geez! I agree no more unsupervised visits or maybe none at all for a while to let them know how wrong they were.

[doeeyedgirl]

Oh wow! I would be very angry, too, Gwen. Just another way that they avoid boundaries and act more childish. I really hope that DH follows through with his email and it makes some sort of impact. I would agree on the no more unsupervised visits. Hope it all gets ironed out soon for you! *Hugs*

[dara1012]

I knew when you posted on FB that it had to be the MIL.....can't believe she did that!

I hope she learns her lesson.

[onlyoneboy]

I updated this

[cissy]

That is just crazy.
Do those daycare parents know it happened? Did they say nothing because they didn't want to start an argument? Maybe they did have an issue with it but felt to ignore it better.
I have a daycare kid sitting in front of me with his hair in his eyes and I am not cutting it. Even when my kids hair went into their eyes I just pushed it out of the way.

I wouldn't trust her to watch my kids anymore, my thought if she will cut the bangs what else will she do.

Try to ignore what she says, she probably said it because you confronted her about the hair.

[doeeyedgirl]

Oh man, Gwen. Sounds like she is trying to make herself the victim in this, which sounds like a normal thing. Don't let her get under your skin. You and DH need to stay strong and united on this. I hope everything goes as you want it to in the future. Did Phil end up emailing them yet?

[onlyoneboy]

I'm trying to decided if I respond to this. I think she must be insane, if I think the best thing for my kids would be to have no contact with their grandparents. Really? I make all my decisions based on what is best for my kids. I have no problems with them seeing the kids, I have a problem with them making decisions for my kids.

[onlyoneboy]

He hasn't e-mailed them yet.

and she didn't just cut a few tips off. She cut about an inch off his bangs and did it in a very uneven way as well. In order to have it look good again I had to have the rest of his long curls cut off so it was evened out.

[doeeyedgirl]

Maybe that's how you respond. Tell her that you don't want to take the kids away from them, but feel that time spent alone will be few and far between until you can begin to trust them again. I wouldn't even acknowledge the fact about her thinking you resent them. It's a ploy to make you feel guilty and turn things around on you. That's what I think anyway...but I am probably putting my personal MIL issues feelings into it.

*HUGS*

[onlyoneboy]

I agree with you. Everything is about this woman. Everyone is out to hurt her. I believe she has some mental health issues that she needs to deal with, but, is in denial. She admitted to a friend of mine that she feels she has an addiction to my kids, like an alcholic has to alchol. It's just weird.

[smalltowngirl5]

I think I would just let it go and not even bother with a response. It is a tough situation and sometimes I feel it is better to take the high road for everyones sake and your own happiness/peace of mind. Good luck.

[dara1012]

That's weird to say she has an addiction to your kids. My mom loves her grandkids, and makes an effort to see them when she can (about once a month, they live 3 hrs away from us and 4 1/2 hrs away from my niece/nephew) but she has her own life too which includes work, friends, hobbies. Sounds like your MIL needs some of those things or some help. Being addicted to anything isn't healthy.

I agree w/ Cyndy and don't take the bait. Let your DH respond.