Bus Stop Bullies

[cakemakermom]

The first day of school went well, all the parents showed up to drop their kids off for the bus. The second day there were no other kindergartners, so I was the only parent out there. The opposite days there are 4 other parents out there, but every day there is a set of brothers that come out of their building swinging. The are constantly hitting each other and running all over the parking lot that we have to wait in. Naturally there are some cars driving by, one day they ran in front of one. The main issue is that they are unsupervised, in probably grades 2 and 4, and act like wrestling is proper behavior. Their behavior is rubbing off on a couple of the kindgergartners and since their [the brothers] parent isn't out there, it seems that there is little that the parents that are out there can't do anything.
Is the best thing for us parents that are out there to wait until one of the brothers break the other brother's arm? What can we do, not knowing who the parent is, to stop this hitting behavior? Fortunately so far, they're only hitting each other. I would never let them near enough to my kids to hit them. At what age is it appropriate to let your kids out to the bus (apartment buildings meeting in the park) without a parent? It seems that they are 8 or older, so legally the police probably wouldn't do anything either. It's frustrating all the parents that do show up for their kids.

[cissy]

I myself would ignore those kids and I would constantly tell my kids how mean they are and how if you do that kind of thing you can get hurt or hurt someone else. I would leave those kids alone until they were to get close to my kids.

[apryllraye87]

I agree with Cissy. I would ignore the behavior and reiterate to DS that the behavior is not acceptable. As long as they weren't harming my child I wouldn't say anything.

[angel22]

I would, at the very least, stop the OTHER kids before they start copying the brothers. Definately remind your kids that that behavior is not acceptable and praise them for how good they are being. Praise the other kids too for acting nicely. I would tell the brothers that they should settle down before someone gets hurt but at this point there isn't much else you CAN do or say.

[cakemakermom]

The thing is that the one kindergartner that is trying to copy these boys has his mom out there and she has had to reprimand her son and like some kids are, he doesn't listen to her and keeps hitting the boys too. I think she's going to start driving her kid to school to avoid the bus stop situation, but I feel bad that she has to go to this extreme because he's just emulating the behavior of those 2 boys. The rest of the kids behave well, even one other kindergartner that is being watched by his older sister.
I just hate being helpless over bullying kids. And I also hate the thought that we'll have to deal with this at least the rest of this year.

[angel22]

That's why you need to catch him being good and say something to him in front of his mom. Most kids respond very well to an adult that is NOT their parent!

[smalltowngirl5]

I don't see anything wrong with saying something to the boys that are misbehaving. Not get in their face but a gentle reminder they need to settle down and they are setting a bad example for the younger kids. I would praise the other kids for the good behavior.

[doeeyedgirl]

I, personally, would say something to the kids. If that doesn't work, you can call the school and let them know what is happening at the bus stop. I would think they would possibly be able to pinpoint who the parent is and make a call. Or if not, send out a memo to all parents on that bus route about what is going on and what proper bus stop etiquette is. I had a problem with a bully at my DS1's bus stop, but it affected him directly. I called the school and they were able to take care of the situation for me. My son was able to tell me the kids names, so that was helpful.
Good luck. I know those types of situations can be really stressful.

[merrr]

Any way you could ask the boys about their mom? Where she is? Tell them you'd like to meet her for coffee/tea/whatever. At least then you'll be able to track down a (legally) responsible adult.

[elizac]

I wouldn't be silent. I would want my kids to hear me tell these boys that their behavior is not a good example for younger kids, not safe (in the case of the parking lot) and inappropriate (hitting).

You can also get other parents to speak up.

[cakemakermom]

I may just lose it and tell off the older boy to stop hitting. He's definately bullying his younger brother. I haven't seen a parent to these kids more than twice, so I don't remember their faces well. I'm probably just going to loudly say "Hey, it's not appropriate to hit anyone and I'm not going to put up with it." I hope that they do tell a parent and they get into my face, I'll tell off the parent too, I'm old enough to have authority over their parents too as I'm probably 10 years older than them from the couple of times I've seen them.

[cakemakermom]

Well, I went off on the kids. Since I had a migraine to begin with, their behavior put me over the edge and I yelled. There were just my kids and them there, so they didn't get it in fornt of all the other kids. I hope they tell their parent so they'll come out and confront me and I'll tell them about the behavior those kids have shown.