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Post by fungirls on May 21, 2013 14:34:23 GMT -6
I just got a call from DD's teacher. She is in second grade and is stealing Jolly Ranchers off the teacher's desk. She suspected DD yesterday, and today set up the iPad and caught her on tape. She has given the kids a chance to fess up by the end of the day today, but so far DD has not come forward. She also lied to me about where she got the Jolly Rancher yesterday, as the teacher has not given them out since last Thursday.
They have a field trip to the Nature Center scheduled for tomorrow and the teacher is going to make her stay back at school as a consequence, which I am completely fine with.
What consequences would you recommend for at home? This is the first time we have ever had a teacher call us about her behavior - she is normally a very good kid who follows the rules. However, I want her to know this is serious and the behavior cannot continue.
I plan to make her buy a new bag of Jolly Ranchers for the teacher using her own money, write an apology to her teacher, and am thinking of making her write about what happens when you lie, steal, and why you shouldn't do them, or else writing "I will not lie" and "I will not steal" 100 times each.
Any suggestions are welcome - this is really throwing me for a loop!
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Post by apryllraye87 on May 21, 2013 16:07:12 GMT -6
I think having her buy new jolly ranchers and write a letter is a great idea. I'm dealing with something similar, so I'll be interested to see what others have to say.
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Post by dara1012 on May 21, 2013 16:46:46 GMT -6
I think that buying more jolly ranchers and writing a thank you note is an appropriate consequence.
I personally don't like the idea of making kids write things X number of times because I don't really think it teaches them what we want them to learn and feels more of a punishment than a way to help them understand what they did was wrong and there are consequences for actions.
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Post by lilmermaid on May 21, 2013 18:49:41 GMT -6
I agree with Debbie. I'm not in favor of the writing idea either. I think it's better to talk it out with them an explain how upset and disappointed you are with them. Also letting her know people who steal can go to jail! Easier in my house with DH being a cop, my girls understand more what happens if you do bad things. I know people who have used their local PD officers to help explain consequences too. We don't want them to fear police but they are powerful figures in our world.
Using her own money to buy more candy and writing an apology is great. Maybe for a consequence at home she could have something taken away.... A toy, outside time, less TV time or go to bed earlier a few nights.
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Post by sharon on May 21, 2013 19:55:49 GMT -6
I think a conversation of how hard it is to earn back trust once lost is appropriate as well. Buying the candy and writing the note are very logical and meaningful I think.
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Post by fungirls on May 22, 2013 6:59:17 GMT -6
Thank you! She told me a lie about how she got her Jolly Rancher yesterday. She would not admit how she got them until I came out and asked her if she took them off the teacher's desk, then she broke down and cried. I told her she will be missing her field trip today, and told her to get her money so we could go to the store to buy a new bag of candy. She has to clean the litter box each day for the next week as well. She is going to apologize to her teacher first thing this morning, return the rest of the Jolly Ranchers she took along with the new bag. She will be completely embarrased about not going on the field trip as well. We had a long talk about stealing, what would have happened if she did that at a store, how it is the same as if she had stolen money off the desk, and how she needs to be truthful even though sometimes admitting the truth is hard (since she would not tell us where she got them though it was obvious we knew). Hopefully these consequences and lessons will stick with her!
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Post by fungirls on May 22, 2013 7:01:06 GMT -6
We also reminded her that she is a good kid and that we love her. We explained that all of our behavior is a choice, and that we are disappointed that she made these bad choices and expect her to make better choices going forward.
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Post by ReneeW on May 22, 2013 8:15:53 GMT -6
I think you're doing a great job with the consequences. You could also talk to her about how she would feel if someone stole something from her, and have a discussion about our behaviors and how what we do and the choices we make affect other people.
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Post by laurac on May 23, 2013 9:10:03 GMT -6
You handled it brilliantly, Sarah.
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