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Post by Samantha on Sept 13, 2013 6:58:20 GMT -6
This has been an issue for a long time but its gotten worse. My mom, who is dd most favorite person ever (they're super close), has the habit of buying my daughter pretty much whatever she wants when they're together and lets her get away with behavior that I do not tolerate... especially in public. I've kept my mouth shut because it wasn't causing any issues until now. First off, this child has SO many toys I'm literally running out of space. She's got 2 toy boxes over flowing plus piles of toys in storage and in random place in her room. Her behavior is atrocious when I go out with grandma and dd... and she has NO respect for what I say. She refuses to listen to me, she refuses to let me near her when grandma is around. Not only does it REALLY hurt my feelings, she acts like a total spoiled brat. Whenever she comes home from spending the night at grandmas she has tantrums and she's difficult for the first day or two. Oh! And grandma has a new boyfriend/fiance who also adores my dd and contributes to the spoiling which is what has made it worse... grandma doesn't even try to control herself.
So now I'm not sure how to handle this. Anytime I've brought it up before its ended up in grandma crying and us fighting (she's very emotional). I like dd spending time at grandmas because it gives me a day off to catch up on homework and just decompress slightly but I don't know if I'm willing to deal with the ramifications of my dd's behavior anymore... With a new baby coming I would really like to not have a 4 (or 5) year old throwing temper tantrums or dealing with the tragedy of her not getting a toy every time we go to a store.
How should I handle this!?
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Sept 13, 2013 7:45:03 GMT -6
Oh I sooooo know how you feel. My mom is the same way. When DD was 4-5 years old it was VERY difficult to deal with and I remember having to sit down with her a number of times and talk about what mom could and could not buy her all the time and that Grandma does these things to help mommy out. I realize having a ton of toys isn't ideal. Can you start tossing ones that are broken/have missing pieces/maybe she doesn't play with anymore? Or donate them? Or even bring them to Once Upon a Child?
From Grandma's perspective, she's just wanting to spend time with her grandbaby. She doesn't care what people think about how she's acting, or what she's buying, etc. She just wants to see her baby happy. (I just had this conversation with a coworker the other day)
I wouldn't come down on your mom too hard. She's helping you with getting things that you don't have to buy. Like I said though, sitting down and having the conversation about wrong/right behaviors when she's with mom and dad and what you can/can't buy for her may really help. She's getting to an age where you can't really "reason" with her, but more tell her how things are. It may take some time and multiple conversations, but it REALLY helped with DD when we went through this.
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Post by Samantha on Sept 13, 2013 11:02:19 GMT -6
Last time I tried to remove some of the toys my dd caught me! She's got this amazing internal inventory of every toy and she does play with them all... she literally empties her toy boxes and plays with them. They're 80% dinosaurs so I guess thats why lol. I'll try having a talk with my daughter before we have a talk with grandma, I think I will ask that she keeps toys she buys for her at her house.
I feel guilty because I dont want to put strain on their relationship and I love my daughter and want her to have strong relationships in her life.
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Sept 13, 2013 12:02:41 GMT -6
That's a good idea too. I do that with my mom (especially the loud and obnoxious ones!).
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