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Post by workingmomexpecting on Feb 6, 2014 13:58:58 GMT -6
Hi everyone, I'm new here so let me introduce myself. I'm Liz, I am a divorced single mom of 2 boys (age 10 and 5), recently engaged and we are expecting baby #3 in August. I work a high stress job which I've been doing for 9 years now so day to day stress I can keep under control. Here's my question.
In January my company of almost 9 years lost their contract and a new company came in so same job new management basically. I have no had multiple issues with my direct supervisor, I've even filed a grievance with my union. Now I'm being told things like my kids are not an excusable absence when I needed a day off to take them to the dentist, and when I requested to leave an hour early for prenatal appointment my manager threw a fit and demanded I bring in a doctors note or I'll be fired. I know this is pregnancy discrimination and my union is helping me build my case but my question is this, for the past week I've been so stressed by this and angry I've been throwing up everything I eat and have been getting really bad cramps (no bleeding thank goodness) and migraines. Can this really hurt the baby? I've never run into this before with my last 2 pregnancies, my former company was wonderful when I was pregnant with my 5 year old so I'm kind of dumbfounded that this is happening.
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Feb 6, 2014 14:05:45 GMT -6
Welcome, welcome, welcome!!! So glad to see another fresh "face" in here Stress can affect the baby. Their heart rate can increase, they're blood flow can decrese, all the same things that happen in your body when you stress out. I'm shocked your company is acting this way. Do you have sick time or PTO time that you are able to take so that they are not discriminating against where you are going? I mean, if my boss were to ask me to bring in a doctors note saying I'm pregnant, I'd probably laugh in his face and lift up my shirt and say "is this proof enough?" Of course, that's when I was pregnant and my boss is an ass. Anywho...I don't think it's wrong or illegal for them to ask for a doctors note. However, to discriminate you against anyone else is wrong and action should definitely be taken. I thik you're taking the right step by getting the union involved. I would suggest taking a short walk, doing nice long relaxing breaths and trying to imagine peaceful things when you're feeling stressed out. That helped me a lot while I was preggo. Again, welcome! Hope this kind of helped!
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Post by ReneeW on Feb 6, 2014 14:18:12 GMT -6
Welcome to the site! SO, so SO sorry that you're dealing with this *&^#. NOT cool on behalf of your supervisor, seriously!!! GRRRRrrrrrr What is wrong with some people?!? ANYWAY … I think Amy had great points, and I would add as well to do some stretching, deep breathing, maybe try meditation etc. to keep your stress levels (relatively) in check. Make sure that you're drinking plenty of water and eating healthfully as well--when we're stressed it's natural to forget those little factors in taking care of yourself.
Document absolutely everything, every comment -- although I'm sure your union is helping with those details. It might not be a bad idea to update your resume and put some feelers out about other job opportunities at the same time. (Sigh.)
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Post by workingmomexpecting on Feb 6, 2014 14:20:27 GMT -6
Thank you, thank you. I actually don't have PTO which is frustrating after being forced to leave one company for another when I had a good 3 weeks saved up which are now gone. I am considering requesting FMLA paperwork so I'm protected from illegal termination for going to dr appointments etc. I have even discussed a temporary lay off from the company with my union rep which is still under discussion. There is a room I can go to at work where I can catch my breath and try to relax, I think I will start using that. Thanks for the reply and the welcome!
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Post by apryllraye87 on Feb 6, 2014 14:31:20 GMT -6
Welcome! Glad to have you And congrats on your engagement & new baby! You should be able to file for FMLA for your kids appointments or your own. We had someone at my work that had horrible sickness throughout her entire pregnancy and she was able to file for FMLA so that she would not lose her job. This would allow you up to 12 unpaid weeks of leave per year. It would also ensure that you could not be fired, or demoted. I definitely suggest you look into it if you haven't already: www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/fmla-faqs.htmI had a very stressful pregnancy as well, so I know how hard it can be. Try to relax as much as possible. Take a bath, listen to soft music, anything to help calm down. I'm sorry you're going through this. Hang in there!
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Feb 6, 2014 14:33:39 GMT -6
Yes...do FMLA!! It will protect your rights! I'm not sure when you can start it though, it may not be until you have baby, but you are still what protected being that you are pregnant. They can't fire you for that reason alone.
Take your breather, bring a good book or an iPad with calming music.
How far along are you? I'm assuming they know you're pregnant?
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Post by apryllraye87 on Feb 6, 2014 14:37:36 GMT -6
Oops, saw your post after I posted mine!
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Post by workingmomexpecting on Feb 6, 2014 14:51:09 GMT -6
I will be 12 weeks on Monday. I gave them a dr note at 8 weeks along stating that I can't wear a bullet proof vest as I am bigger earlier this time around and it was causing my morning sickness to be so much worse. Not wearing it is not a safety concern, it was just a uniform requirement I guess so everyone looks the same. In the past, prior to this company, other pregnant women were sent on leave at 3 months along with the ability to file unemployment, so technically on lay off status, but were able to come back to work in the same position and seniority. This is another option I am looking into as I was told I would have to "force" them into giving me FMLA paperwork, I'm not sure what that means exactly but it can't be good. Thanks again
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Post by dara1012 on Feb 6, 2014 15:22:27 GMT -6
Welcome Liz! We are glad to have you here! Feel free to hop onto the daily chat. Often people just pop in here and there, so need to feel like you would have to be on all day. This is a great community of women.
I am so sorry you are facing such difficulty with your employer. As a supervisor myself, my mantra is flexibility and striving to serve my employees so I feel horrible when people are so mean to their employees, no one wants to work for that. I think you are doing the right thing by getting the union involved and FMLA is your right!
Good luck and keep us posted.
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Post by deannemdm on Feb 7, 2014 7:40:06 GMT -6
When talking to supervisor, etc use the word harassment and discrimination to them as well as illegal. These words may trigger some action but check with union rep also. Use when they are asking for notes or expoding on you, etc. Also do you have STD (short term disablilty)-- I had to take modified bedrest with my last and was able to use that so I got some pay-- but that was 12 weeks but could go into long term-- if your doctor (who should be informed of the situation and stress so s/he could watch for specific changes, etc) should deem it appropriate. FMLA is for 3 months and would not be able to cover the whole time. Double check it it can be used intermettantly (hour by hour or day by day basis). Also is new supervisor male or female? THat could also influence discrimination charges?
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Post by onlyoneboy on Feb 7, 2014 7:53:01 GMT -6
I have no advice. I just wanted to say Welcome!
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Post by lilmermaid on Feb 7, 2014 22:25:11 GMT -6
I also just wanted to say Welcome!!!!
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Post by ladyandrearose on Feb 7, 2014 23:30:42 GMT -6
Everyone pretty much covered what I was thinking. Welcome! We are glad you are here!
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Post by workingmomexpecting on Feb 20, 2014 10:24:50 GMT -6
I apologize for my late response, been hectic. Here's what happened, I had a talk with my union rep and after put in a request (in writing) for FMLA paperwork, I was completely ignored then when I asked for an hour off for an appointment I was denied and told to "reschedule my crap" so I emailed my doctor and requested a note be faxed to them saying I had a prenatal appointment, they then told me to take the day off so they didn't have to deal with it. My second request for FMLA was also ignored so I printed my own from the dept of labor and gave it to my doctor. Management have since gotten chewed out by the union and told to comply with federal regulations. So far they aren't speaking to me anymore. Yes I can use FMLA intermittently for appointments etc if needed and I will probably start it at 6.5 months along and use parental leave after baby, I can only take so much of this ya know. Lol. It's slowly working out
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Post by sarahisis on Feb 20, 2014 10:58:12 GMT -6
So glad things are starting to look up!!! I can't believe your employer.... they should get in lots of trouble for the way they've treated you and handled the situation! Hang in there!!!
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