Your kids see you frustrated...

[jlschlangen]

Dh & I had a rough night last night. Meaning: we have 2 vehicles. He was driving 1 home from work last night and it breaks down on him on the way home. It was the water pump froze solid. Car made loud awful sounds most of the way home, car overheated and then just shut off. Had to have it towed to a auto shop in town. Thankfully it wasn't too terribly far from home. My dad went to help dh.

Our kids saw us frustrated. Then dh & I were talking most of the night about money about the car, expenses the rest of the night. Our tone of our voices showed we were frustrated no not w/ them at all.

Dh is also frustrated about the so many cold days though can't do anything about that.

How do you deal w/ it when your kids see you frustrated?

Thanks.

[dara1012]

We have a conversation with DS at his level.

We explain why mom and dad were frustrated either about a situation or if we were frustrated with each other. We try to not express it too much in front of him, but sometimes it comes out and taking time to process it with kids is important.

We say something like:
"You probably heard mom and dad having a discussion where we were upset last night. Sometimes when a lot is going on or things aren't going the way they planned, people get upset. What are some things that mom and dad could do differently next time when we are frustrated?"

Then we problem solve healthy ways to express frustration or deal with upsetting situations.

We have a "Good Things" jar in our living room where we write fun, positive, things that have happened this year on fun paper. So sometimes when we are upset we'll try to change our attitudes by thinking of "good things" that have happened. Writing those down and saying them out loud help all of us.

So last night for you a "Good Thing" you could write down is: Grandpa was able to help go get dad when his car froze. Our grandparents are a special part of our family and always help us out.

[ReneeW]

We too try to use it as a teachable moment. Like, it's normal for people to feel frustrated, upset, cranky, etc. and what's most important is dealing with it in a healthy way. So that means talking about it, working out solutions to problems, venting about it, and if you're really angry you can go hit a pillow, yell into your bed, jump up and down, whatever your favorite coping mechanism is! If my kids know that we're stressed out about money, we also try to explain to them simply, "We have a budget to stick to, and sometimes that causes us stress, but don't worry, we have money for groceries and the important things, we just might have skip (fill in the blank ___ going out to eat, going on a trip, going to the mall). I think it's a good lesson to know that money is finite and we have budgets, but to also reassure kids that there's enough for them to feel secure.

We also do "highs and lows" at dinner every night, we so we can talk about "My high was my boss told me 'good job' on a project, my low is the lawnmower broke." or what have you. So kids know it's OK to have lows in life, we get through them and it's all OK in the end.

[apryllraye87]

Wow, I love both of these ideas! ^^