Advice for Mom Who'll Be Working Full Time

[ReneeW]

Hi Ladies!

You may have seen in the daily chat that I have a new job coming up, YAY! But I know that I don't know what I don't know … and I would love some advice from other moms on strategies that seem to make your life less stressed and more balanced. I've been working the same job for almost 10 years, with nine-plus of those at a part-time capacity. So I would love to hear some insight on what things you do to keep sane -- or at least as sane as is possible!! Thanks!

[apryllraye87]

Sane? What is that?? Kidding, kind of Congratulations on your new job!

I've worked full-time and gone to school part-time since DS was about 6 weeks old. It's tough, but definitely do-able. I'm always looking for ways to make things easier, but some of the tips I've found over the years (a lot of these are suggestions from our very own MoM's

1. When you first get home, dedicate time to spend with your kiddos. Even if it's only 15-20 minutes reading a book, coloring, etc. it goes a long way in their attitude if they get some individual attention right when you get home.

2. Prepare everything you can the night/week before. I use Sundays to do laundry and plan out our outfits for the week. DS has a hanging organizer in his room with days of the week on them, one outfit goes in each spot so he can just grab them in the morning and get dressed. I also try to use Sundays as our day to cut up and put fruit/veggies in containers so they're all ready for lunches during the week. Also, DS always showers at night because it's too stressful to try to have him and I both shower in the mornings.

3. Realize that your house is not going to be perfect. This is one that I have the hardest time with. I want my house to be clean ALL the time, but that just isn't always feasible with out busy schedules. Now I try to clean one room a day, and that allows the house to be decent.. even if it isn't spotless all the time.

4. Reduce weekend plans. We still have a hard time with this, because since we're so busy during the week we often feel like we have to fit everything else in on the weekends. Nearly every weekend we have a party, baby shower, wedding, sports, activity, etc. planned and when the weekend is packed so full it doesn't feel like we ever have time just to breathe.

I'll add more as I think of them. Good luck!

[ReneeW]

These are great! I love the idea of time with the kids right away, they're going to need extra face time with me so that's a wonderful way to do it. Also picking out clothes for the entire week on Sunday--I never would have thought of that, great idea! We know the forecast and we know what the kids have at school (gym, art etc.) so there's no reason we can't do that. Awesome!

Keep 'em coming!!

[dara1012]

Congratulations Renee!

I agree with Apryll's ideas. I have worked full time with the exception of my maternity leave since DS was born. My job often involves evening commitments and is usually about 50 hrs/week and I have either been very involved in volunteering commitments (serving as wp/president of BOD) or in graduate school also. I have to be super-organized to keep it all going.

Here are some things I do:

-Make a menu for the week and highlight if I will be gone or not so DH knows (the meals DH does are leftovers or easy--- grilled cheese, chicken nuggets, etc)

-Keep a color coordinated dry erase calendar in the kitchen - this helps DH most, but helps also with menu planning

-DH does laundry, that is really his only "job", but it really helps --- he works from home

-Give yourself a break; the house doesn't have to look perfect every week --- this has been the hardest for me

-I make sure DS's backpack is ready for the next day before I go to bed. He likes to pick out clothes, but this I can do to make mornings more smooth.

-I pack lunch for myself the night before too.

-When things seem overwhelming I write down my list and then prioritize things.

-I try to use the "one touch method" whenever possible. This means to only touch things once. So I check my email and take care of emails immediately, same with mail, picking things up. If I see something that needs to be done I just do it and that creates less stress if I can stay on top of that.

- I try for Sunday afternoons/evenings to not schedule anything. This is our one sane day.

- We only sign DS up for 1-2 things at a time. No more. Right now he is doing art class and swimming. When art is done we will add t-ball, then swimming will drop and we'll do soccer. We don't do a lot of playdates, etc. Family time is important.

-Celebrate little accomplishments, sometimes you have to just be happy you got out the door dressed professionally and the kids had breakfast. Give yourself credit for little "wins".

[sharon]

These ladies have great ideas (and sound a lot more on top of it than I am). The only things I have to add are -

- Grocery shop during the week as much as possible. It's something that constantly has to be done and can eat into the weekend, so we try hard to NOT do it on the weekend. Since I'm the grocery shopper, often I'll shop after work while Tina gets Ian from school and brings him home.

- Adding on to the preparing the night before - I pack lunches as we clean up from dinner. That way, any leftovers can be used without first putting them away and then taking them back out. Even if it's just some sliced fruit or veggies, this does make the process more efficient. The three of us work together, I pack up lunches and then do any hand washing. Tina puts away any food I'm not using. Ian starts by loading the dishwasher and then Tina helps him finish that. It all goes pretty quickly and then lunches are packed too when done.

- While it's important to me that we sit down together for dinner, I give myself a break on cooking sometimes and we just do sandwiches or cheese and crackers and veggies. So long as the food is healthy and we are eating it together I don't stress if I'm not cooking a whole meal.

- Crockpots are awesome.

- We work hard to resist the temptation to push back bedtime. This is hard because on some nights we only have 1-2 hours between when we get home and when Ian needs to go to bed. But sleep is important and being overtired doesn't help with anything.

- A chunk of homework happens every weekend so there is a realistic amount left for during the week. Ian gets his homework in weekly packets each Friday, making this possible.

You'll have tips for us soon I bet, and I can't wait to hear them!

[sharon]

Oh, just thought of one more. Every now and then we schedule a "Nothing" weekend. These days we just do it verbally but back when we had a paper calendar we used to even write NOTHING in big letters across it to stop us from scheduling anything.

[ReneeW]

LOVE love LOVE everyone's ideas. Awesome!! Thank you so much, I know we'll be adopting these into our new routine!

[ladyandrearose]

Congrats Rene! Remember to schedule some time for you. One way for me to do that is to be the first on up on Saturday and Sunday mornings so I have an hour or so to myself to read, to workout, or play computer games. Sometimes I will take a bath and ask for that time alone. (Doesn't work quite as well as getting up early, though)

Also, I employ my DD's help for housekeeping when the house gets out of control. At 7, she helps with the dishwasher, picking up the living room, vacuuming, wiping down the bathroom and takes out the trash. Since we tend to clean together it is something we can make fun and do together AND she learns responsibility to boot.

One more, you are not alone, none of can be perfect, don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself. Challenges are great, but we need to be realistic about them.

Good luck!