Kids Playing Outside by Themselves?

[jrose]

When did you start letting your kids play outside by themselves?

My girls are at that age where they want to be outside pretty much the whole day. DD1 is 6 (will be 7 in Sept.) and DD2 is 4 (will be 5 in August). Right now I limit them playing outside by themselves to only when I'm in the kitchen cooking or cleaning and they are where I can see them at all times (our kitchen and living room face the back yard). DH thinks it would be ok to just let them out in the back when they wanted without any of us having to be back there watching them all the time...I am just on the fence about it. It's a nice fenced in back yard and you can't really see it from the road at all so I think it would be ok but aaggghhhhh I just don't know lol!

[bunsy]

Let the kids play. My kids played in our front yard as our backyard was not very nice. No fence. The summer the twins were 3 I know they spent a lot of time outside--with and without their 6 year old brother. I certainly checked on them occasionally. I also preferred to have a window open so I could hear if they were playing nice or fighting.

[apryllraye87]

DS will be 7 in July and I just started letting him play outside at our house this year when it started to get nice out. He likes to play with all the neighborhood kids but is required to come check with me before going to their house. Also, once he is at his friends house he has a watch and has to check-in with us at certain times.

[ReneeW]

I'm ridiculous … my DDs are 6 & 9 and I still want them playing where I can see them. Our yard doesn't have a fence and I guess I just feel like they're too vulnerable. I do let them play outside without me but I really want to be able to hear them and see them--maybe not constantly but pretty close. (Sigh.) I wish I felt differently but at this point that's where I am.

[sarahisis]

It's a valid concern!! You just can't be certain that they'll be safe these days!

[dara1012]

I let DS (6) play outside in our shared driveway/yard (we live in townhomes that face one another) with neighborhood kids and I peek out the window every few minutes (or if possible sit by the window). Our neighbor whose son he is often playing with does the same thing. DS knows he can't go where I can't see from the window without asking first. He is a very cautious kid and follows the rules.

[ladyandrearose]

DD is 7 and we have just begun to let her play outside alone. I find it to be nerve wracking! I open the front curtains and leave the doors open so I can see her pretty well. If I don't see her or hear her for a bit, I go looking. (She's usually doing chalk drawings.)

[lilmermaid]

It's so hard!!! Mine are 10,6 and 3. I still freak out when I can't hear/see them and check on them often. The 6 yr old wants to play outside by herself or even with the 3 yr old but I just can't do it.

[sharon]

This has been evolving for us. We've been letting him out in the yard for a while when we are where we can see/hear him. Maybe from the age of 7 or so. But I definitely felt like we needed to see him and check on him if we didn't. Our yard is not fenced in and there are some kids on our block who have been out and about with no supervision since they were about 3 and behave in ways that aren't OK in our family. So when they appear then one of us makes sure we are closer since it can take a lot of management.

Now at age 9 we are starting to let him out of sight and sound a bit more. He can can ride his bike up and down and play up and down the block. I still feel anxious when I haven't seen him for a bit but I'm fighting it because I feel like it's time to let go on this.

Our rule at synagogue has always been that he has to stay where we can see or hear him. Some of his friends are allowed to run around the building during the lunch and we haven't allowed that, which I know is hard for him, but again, I feel like they aren't always making good choices and it's hard to be the one setting limits when you are a kid and your friends are doing something they shouldn't. Well, they have an area behind the building where it's woods and the kids have an on-going stick fort they are building back there that is pretty amazing and yesterday he wanted to head out there, but I had to be inside because I had kitchen duty (and Tina wasn't with us). Normally we would have only let him if we were outside to hear if there was a problem, even though we can't really see them once they are in the woods.

But I did let him. We talked first about what to do if something that made him uncomfortable or that the thought might make me uncomfortable was going on. And it was fine. I think next time I would be even clearer that I would never be mad or upset with him (or say he couldn't go anymore) because of what another kid did, so long as he came and told me right away. I don't want him to feel invested in NOT coming to tell him if something hinky is going on.

[Samantha]

I have this same problem! My daughter is 5 and I won't let her play outside unsupervised. She can play in the backyard because I can hear her and see her from pretty much anywhere on the main level of the house. We've started talking about rules for when she's outside playing with kids.. so I'm getting close to letting her play outside unsupervised.. just not yet. Its not so much I dont trust her.. but this isn't a safe world. Kids get kidnapped or hurt everyday in all kinds of neighborhoods. There is no reason it cannot happen to my child, that is why I want her in my sight and within hearing range.

[fungirls]

I am getting more comfortable with it, but still won't let my DD's out of ear shot. They can play in our front and back yard, and I always leave a window open so I can hear them. If I don't hear them and call their names they have to answer. Sometimes they are just playing quietly, but if they can hear me and don't answer they have to come back in the house. I have just started letting them ride their bikes to the end of the street, which is only 4 houses past us and is a dead end. I can see them the whole way. The other end of the street leads toward a main road and is up a hill from us so I can't see them. If they change what they're doing or want to ask if someone can play, they have to tell me first and so far they've been good about that. It is scary but I don't want to limit them by my own insecurities. This feels like a good balance to keep them where I can see/hear at all times, and also let them have some freedom to be kids & play outside.

[jrose]

Thanks for all the replies! I do have my own insecurities that I have to work through but I have been letting them play back there without us for most of the weekend with the windows open so I can hear them! They are out there right now while the baby I watch is eating and about to go down for a nap which is nice. It will be awhile before I let them out front by themselves though! They are loving having a little more freedom now!

[bunsy]

Sounds good Jennifer.

[jlschlangen]

I don't remember what age I started letting my kids play outside by themselves. My kids are: 10, 7. I still wonder when I can't find them. Though we have a huge yard...btwn me & my parents we have 10 acres. I usually like to be able to see them out a window. They do have to tell me b4 they go to gpa's.