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Post by dara1012 on Oct 23, 2011 16:07:13 GMT -6
DS (3 1/2) has been in the process of potty training for 6 months and we have had varied success in public restrooms. Last week he decided he wanted to start wearing underwear and so we started that on Wed.
Thurs evening we were at Culver's and he refused to go to the bathroom there and insisted that he could stay dry. Well, sure enough he had an "accident" while he was eating. We tried not to make a big deal of it, I took him out to the car and got him a dry outfit and DH told the employees so they could clean it. We went back in and got him his ice cream and talked about how important it is to use the bathroom when you have a chance to avoid accidents.
Today we were going to Target after church. I offered DS the option of going home to use the bathroom and then going to Target or just going straight to Target and using their bathroom. He chose wanting to go to Target and we had 30 min of crying about the bathroom being too scary. I gave him the choice to leave and go home or use the bathroom here. Eventually after many tears he went at Target. (We also tried at church and he refused to go there too).
I really don't want to repeat either of these experiences. Any words of wisdom for getting kids to go in public restrooms without a fuss?
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Post by sharon on Oct 23, 2011 18:48:41 GMT -6
This took time with my son as well. He did NOT like public restrooms at first. We would insist he go potty before we left home and just didn't push it while we were out. However, he didn't have accidents and would just hold it until we got home again, when he would pee a river. I might have felt I needed to push it more if he was having accidents out in public.
Do you have any idea what it is he doesn't like? If it's auto flushers there are ways to deal with those. If it's just that it's not home, that's harder.
With time, my son got over it, and started using public toilets without issue. In fact, he now makes it a point to go whenever we are at a restaurant, and I swear he just claims he has to go whenever we are getting groceries b/c he likes the lavender hand soap at our co-op. So, I do think it gets easier.
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Post by dara1012 on Oct 23, 2011 20:24:28 GMT -6
Sharon- We always make him go before we leave the house, but sometimes we are gone longer than he can hold it.
He has not been able to articulate what he is scared of in the public bathrooms well. He will say one thing and then change his mind. Sometimes it's the flushing (I cover the auto ones so it won't go while he is on it), sometimes it's the hand dryer. He told me he didn't want to fall in and that he was scared of the diamond shape tile in the Target bathroom. I know at church he doesn't like their hand dryers so I told him we would use the paper towel instead (it is a Dyson high efficiency dryer and super loud). So sometimes I think it is genuine and sometimes I think he is making it up as it changes in the same conversation (like the tiles scaring him).
He has gone without a fuss successfully at a variety of public places over the past few months and then the last 3 days has been really upset about it.
I have an aunt who refuses to go in public restrooms so I am also sensitive that I don't want him to develop phobias that will last into adulthood as she has difficulties functioning in society due to her phobias (she has more than just public restrooms).
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Post by sharon on Oct 23, 2011 20:30:17 GMT -6
Have you tried family bathrooms where available? There is more privacy and also more control over noise, since others are turning on dryers or flushing. Poor guy - sounds like a hard time!
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Post by dara1012 on Oct 23, 2011 20:42:53 GMT -6
Yes, unfortunately the places where we have had issues there have been no family restrooms (we were at a smaller Target).
I feel so badly for him, but also don't want him to have accidents and there is only so much time he can hold it for. We had a good talk about it today after we got home. I told him how proud I was of him for going on the potty at Target and reminded him that mom or dad will be with him to help him in the bathroom.
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Post by sharon on Oct 23, 2011 20:46:23 GMT -6
I hope it gets better quickly! For all of your sakes!
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Post by angel22 on Oct 23, 2011 21:24:32 GMT -6
DD3 decided to be scared of public toilets for a short time. We ended up playing the back and forth game for a while before she finally just gave in and peed. She so very proud of herself when she finally did, though! My girls always sit sideways on public potties- the cut out in the front of the seats give me the creeps and the girls feel more secure sideways. When I was in the training stage with my girls I never gave them the option to go to the potty when we would go out- as soon as we arrived I took them (and they usually peed) and I would take them again before we left.
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Post by elizac on Oct 24, 2011 8:37:08 GMT -6
Maybe you could bring a travel type potty with you when you are out and about and he could use it in your car if public places are too intimidating for now.
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