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Post by Sus on Oct 29, 2011 10:56:08 GMT -6
I had coffee with 2 girlfriends yesterday and we hit lots of topics, but at one point, one of the gals says "I NEED HELP WITH MY 11 YO DD"... and she shared issues she and her DD are having- some, rather typical 11yo tendencies. But as we talked, more things came out. The other GF and I shot a look at each other and said "These are anorexic behaviours." The poor Mom was completely blindsided and we pretty much scared the shit out of her. We both said "We hope we are wrong, but you need to find help NOW... Not first thing next week... NOW" We got on the internet and found "Emily's Program " to give her some starters. Has anyone had experience with Anorexia? I haven't since High School when a classmate went into treatment for what seemed like forever... but sure lots has changed since then. In the mean time, please pray for this poor Mom and her family! TIA
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Post by deannemdm on Oct 29, 2011 11:55:48 GMT -6
I have worked some with this population and have heard of the Emily program. I guess it's pretty good. From what I have gone over in class (grad level counseling classes) last monday this was our topic. Help her to find ways to make her daughter feel empowered as often they feel powerless over situation. (sometimes the families are rigid and perfectionistic, but look good fro the outside--I'm not implying anything, but this is common) There is also an certain gene involved that needs something to be activated. I'm not sure developmentally where her daughter is at, but often as pre-teens/teens deal with this, they feel a sense of powerlessness over body changes and want to control some aspect of it. Not eating is coping technique to deal with negative core beliefs. Not sure if the info helps, but some of it may be good to pass on like the restricting/ weight regulation gene and development stuff as it reduces blame on the individual.
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Post by Sus on Oct 29, 2011 12:07:33 GMT -6
She's very petite and has not cycled yet. Mom said last week she got a call from school; DD passed out and they had to take her to the dr and give her an IV. That's when the other mom and I went... WOooooooH... this is a huge red flag. Then Mom went on to state that she hides in her room for hours at a time and "Isn't hungry" at meal time and only eats small bites. Won't drink water, won't drink milk. . .
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Post by Sus on Oct 29, 2011 12:08:24 GMT -6
oh, and VERY thin... as is mom. but mom is not ultra thin... but Mom said the DD get compliments on how thin she is. She's having trouble socially, too. It's really scary...
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Post by deannemdm on Oct 29, 2011 15:21:54 GMT -6
She passed out from dehydration-- probably electrolyte imbalance. Mom needs to get call into pediatrician and tell her what happened. Maybe the doctor can scare her with the seriousness of this. Is mom taking it serious? Encourage mom to use pediasure or ensure--DD may have problem with solids right now. Make sure mom knows that DD needs to start eating again slowly--- Often mindfulness helps people get back on touch with recognizing hunger signals. They may not be able to do that anymore. EAt small amounts frequently not a lot of food at once.
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Post by ballerinamomma on Oct 29, 2011 18:36:31 GMT -6
I had anorexia. It started the summer before my junior year of high school. I spent 6 months in the hospital, missing my whole first semester of my junior year. The reason most girls (and boys too) have anorexia is because they feel they have no control in life. Is it possible she is being bullied? Parents have problems? It can be anything, even caused by seeing thin girls all over the media. Mine was caused because my mom was (and still is) an alcoholic. All I wanted was for her to get treatment (she finally did). I weighed 55 lbs at my worst standing at 5'4. Now, 6 years later I'm still on the small side but healthy at 105. Anorexia spins out of control so fast, and every time someone says she looks beautiful so thin she will push to lose more weight. I started seeing a psychologist. Take time to find one she likes and trusts, it took me 2 or 3. Also have her see a nutritionist. The most important thing is you cannot have an anorexic eat a lot suddenly, it will make her really sick. Her body had learned to survive on little to none so force feeding will do more damage than good. Remove all scales from the house too, anorexics depend on them. Same with tape measures. Start slow, it's a very long process. Once you have an eating disorder you tend to struggle for a very long time. Also have her parents call their insurance. Some companies will not cover eating disorder treatment so just have them double check. First though, I would have them take her to their family dr with their concerns. Sorry so long!!
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Post by merrr on Oct 29, 2011 23:15:56 GMT -6
What about a food journal? Your friend's DD may not realize that she's not eating until she sees how many calories she's actually consuming. Something to consider. And yes, Emily's Program. There's also the Eating Disorders Clinic with Park Nicollett.
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Post by Sus on Oct 30, 2011 18:35:51 GMT -6
I knew my girls would come through for me! Thanks! Will share with the Mom!
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Post by sarahisis on Oct 30, 2011 20:41:42 GMT -6
I know a mom with a daughter, and this daughter is 13, but this daughter has struggled with her weight FOREVER, or as long as I've known her. Shes VERY small, VERY thin, but not classified as anorexic. She is SUPER picky with food and has a hard time gaining weight. My Friend (the mom) took her daughter onlots of trips to the doctor, logged her calorie and fat intake (food journal) and kept an eye on her. Result, shes healthy, yes she gets dehydrated, and probably doesnt eat too much, but they learned what she loves the most is what she needs to eat, and she also uses boost (nutritional supplement). This daughter is also VERY active is sports, dancing, cheer and gymnastics which contributes to why she has a hard time gaining. I would suggest a food journal... a talk with her daughter (getting her involved with it)... making lists of all the food she loves... and seeing if a nutritional suppl. would help. also, what kind of psyche does she have.. is she depressed? have friends? being bullied? good grades? active with sports or other clubs? Maybe she needs a mentor of sorts, someone to talk to.. because you KNOW.. sometimes it's just NOT COOL to talk to your mom about "stuff." lol
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Post by beemama on Oct 31, 2011 8:27:02 GMT -6
If she is anorexic, a food journal would be a BAD, BAD idea. So I wouldn't suggest it. Have her get into the Emily Program ASAP. They have a wide variety of services, to suit different levels of care. This young girl needs a team effort of psychologist, nutritionist, and likely intensive treatment. Anorexia can lead to heart attack, which if she is passing out, is a scary reality. I wish you the best of luck in helping out this family!
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Post by mnmommy2 on Oct 31, 2011 9:51:52 GMT -6
Ditto on the food journal, that wouldn't be a good idea, she would most likely obsess over it and it would do more harm than good. She needs counseling, even if you suspect an eating disorder get her help in some way, re- counseling, seeing a nutritionist, etc. . I had Bulimia for several years as a teen and I'm 34 years old and have lasting effects to this day that are all because of that disease. It can physically deteriorate certain organs and talk about low self esteem which can lead down a path with more bad choices. Good luck.
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Post by Sus on Oct 31, 2011 13:26:39 GMT -6
Keep it coming... thanks everyone
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