Bullying on the bus...what to do?

[nevaehsmom327]

So I've never had to deal with this until now...but I picked up DD yesterday and as we got in the car she started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said that a boy on the bus was being really mean to her today. I asked her what he was doing, how old, etc. etc. etc....she told me that this boy is 9 years old (DD is 6) and that he was calling her bad names. I asked her what kind of bad names, and she said he used words that only adults should use (which I thought was kinda cute). So then I said well, what words honey, I need to know. So she told me that this boy was calling her names like "sh*thead" and "dumb*ss"...and a few other pretty bad choice profanity words. So my question is

1...do I call the school? this kid REALLY should not be picking on a 1st grader. (i told dd to tell him to pick on someone his own size if he does it again today)

2...how do i help dd get through this? she was really hurt...i feel terrible

[elizac]

Sorry to hear this, Amy. I would be very proactive if I were you -- school should be a safe environment for all kids and I think parents need get more involved with bullying issues at school, IMO. I would talk to the boy first and tell him if his behavior does not stop I will contact his parents. Bullies are usually the hurting kids even if they do not appear as such on the surface.

[nevaehsmom327]

The thing is I don't get her on the bus, and I don't get her off. She goes to a family members after school...and I'm not going to ask them to deal with this. That's why I'm wondering if I should just go ahead and call the school.

[apryllraye87]

I would call the school.

DS had an incidident last year and I went back and forth on whether or not I should contact his teacher. I ended up e-mailing her and she called me and we discussed it. It ended up being fine and it put my mind to ease as well as brought to her attention to watch for anything that might happen in the future.

[smalltowngirl5]

I would contact the school and let them know what your daughter told you and ask how they would like you to proceed with the issue. They may contact the bus driver and have the driver keep tabs on the situation or add another adult to the bus. I would also if at all possible tell your DD to try and sit towards the front of the bus, if it is an option for her. Good luck, I hope it gets resolved.

[laurac]

DS#1 had this same problem. As did DS#2. Same kid, if I recall. DH's response was to teach the boys how to fight. (not MY idea..) We found out who the kid was, went over to his house and DH talked to this kids Dad. The kid fell apart right in front of DH and DS#2, started crying and the Dad just said, I'll take care of this. And he did. Makes you want to punch that kid in the face, don't it?

[nevaehsmom327]

I know...she's so innocent! like who picks on a little ginger?? lol

I'll remind her to sit away from the kid, and close to the bus driver. I hadn't even thought of that! DUUUH! I told DD that boys can just be dumb sometimes and like to pick on girls they think are cute....DD didn't like that idea haha.

[lilmermaid]

I would call the school too! I know on our bus they have assigned seats from some kids acting up. Maybe this boy needs to sit in the front where he can't pick on anyone else!!!

As for DD, tell her she did nothing wrong! Tell her she did a great job letting you know what was going on and that was very grown up of her!Of course tons of hugs too!!!!

[bumblebee23]

I had the same problem with my DS1. Some of the older kids thought it was funny to be "nice" to him and see what kind of things they could get him to say/do. He wants to be friends with everyone so badly that he just wanted to fit in. Anyway, I am still dealing with issues on the bus....not really from other kids but from the bus being late, or the driving not even caring what the kids are doing on the bus.

I think you need to call and speak to someone at the school. You also need to ask them for the bus companies phone number (which is good to have in case she is late or whatever and you can call in case you need to) and call and speak to a manager or something from there. You will need to have the name of the school and the bus number she rides when you call them.

So sorry to hear about this kids are so terribly mean.....and I am finding that bus companies (at least the one our school uses) SUCK!

[mnmommy2]

call the bus company and go to the school and talk with the Principal. Try to have all the info you can, kids name, bus number, how often, what words used, etc. You need to document everything. My son has been the victim of bullying on a special needs bus no less and I took action right away and the boy had consequences, he was actually taken off the bus because of multiple issues with other children. Good luck.

[JazzyMaxie]

I would be in constant contact with the school. Document everything. Tell them everything as it happens. Be so much of a thorn in their side, that they will have no choice but to do something just to get you to leave them alone. Although, chances are....if they are doing it on the bus, they are likely doing it elsewhere too.

I don't really know what you could say to your daughter. Langston has just come home talking about a second grader who likes to use foul language on the playground, and he is not very happy about it. Unfortunately, he does not know the kids name, and he is afraid to tell. I am even more concerned that he is picking on a friend of his physically, and I have encouraged Langston to stand up for him. I have also reminded Langston that if the kid lays a hand on him, then he is to beat his butt....and that he would not be in trouble with me. I know that it is not right, and I know that Langston would not do it...but I also want him to have confidence that he does not need to be afraid of another kid on the playground.

[nevaehsmom327]

I found out they have assigned seating on the bus. Friday DD told the bus driver she didn't want to sit in her assigned seat because of the boy, and he said that was fine. She sat next to one of her classmates. I have called and I left a message with the Principal, hoping to hear back to day about it.

Jazzy - I tell DD the same thing. We made it VERY CLEAR - YOU do NOT start a fight...but if someone starts one with you, defend yourself as much as possible and let them know not to mess with you!