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Post by ReneeW on Nov 9, 2011 17:05:04 GMT -6
Here's the situation. My BF's daughter has her 7th birthday coming up and her daughter wants to invite every kid in her class (22) because she doesn't want anyone to feel sad or left out. So it's very sweet, but my BF is like "Ack!! 30 kids?!?" (in addition to her classmates there are other friends and neighbor kids who should be invited as well). So my BF is looking for advice on how to set limits on the number of kids who may be invited to the party without teaching her child to "exclude" some of the kids. She doesn't know how to explain/ how to talk to her DD about how to choose who is "in" and who is "out" ... but at the same time, having a party with 30 kids would be larger than she'd like, even if they have it at an off-site party location.
Ideas? Anyone else had to talk to your child about this?
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Post by deannemdm on Nov 9, 2011 17:28:34 GMT -6
Well, I have had this issue, but I tried to turn it back on DD. I praised her for her generous heart and told her that it might be a little lame ( like just cake and smaller goody bags, or whatever) if we have that many kids, but that if fewer came (like 8) maybe we could do a little bit bigger party or have a sleepover, pizza, etc.
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Post by bunsy on Nov 9, 2011 17:46:27 GMT -6
My kids were just limited to 6 guests. Add the 3 kids and maybe a cousin and that was over my limit of small children. We just didn't do big parties. It was sometimes hard to make the decisions but they did it. It wasn't an option.
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Post by angel22 on Nov 9, 2011 18:24:27 GMT -6
We don't do big parties around here but if we did I would probably try to stick with the "One guest per age of the child" idea. Turning 7= 7 friends. As it is, though- the only parties we've had have included family only.
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Post by sharon on Nov 9, 2011 19:41:16 GMT -6
Our rule is less than half the class if we aren't inviting the whole. So, If she has 8 out of school friends to invite then maybe do 8 in school friends too. Depending on where they are having the party, that can limit it too, based on the place's maximum, or their base price (if they aren't having it at their house.)
Just help her prioritize. "If you could only invite one friend who would it be?" and then just keep adding until she gets to the max.
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Post by sharon on Nov 9, 2011 19:42:17 GMT -6
And it's definitely worth reviewing that she can't talk about the party at school because that would be impolite, even if the kids that are invited bring it up.
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Post by JazzyMaxie on Nov 9, 2011 20:38:11 GMT -6
Let me know when you figure it out!
My son is also a social butterfly, and insists on inviting the entire class, so as to not have hurt feelings. It twas fine up until Kindergarten when there were 26 children in his class. And by golly, 23 of them did not have plans on a Sunday afternoon! (This, after a sleepover with his neighborhood friends.) I was planning to have another all class party this year too, but of course...he doesn't have all of the same kids in his class this year! I give up!
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Post by sarahisis on Nov 9, 2011 21:45:33 GMT -6
maybe if she has just a few best friends.. limit it to that from the party so it's not a majority thing, just her closest pals... and then in school see if the teacher will allow the end of the day to be a "birthday party with the class" type of thing, so she doesn't feel she is excluding everyone... bday at school for the whole class.. outside of school just for closest friends.
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