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Post by bumblebee23 on Oct 11, 2011 8:57:08 GMT -6
 So my mil hasn't spoken to us in 6yrs. Lets just say I'm not her favorite person but in the process she hasn't spoken to my husband or my children either. We had decided one year at Christmas time that if she gave us anything for Christmas we would return it to her, which we did. She has told my husband that nothing will ever change and this is how it is. So my son just had a bday party. My mil dropped off my husbands brother to our house for the party. The bil gave him two gift cards to target and at the time I thought it was weird but was busy with the party. So yesterday I get home and he asks me who Donna (that's what we will call her) is. I asked him why he wanted to know and where he had heard that name. He told me that one of the cards uncle gave him said from Donna on it. I told him it was dad's mom. He said oh. then ohhhhh. My children know who she is as a person and they know that we don't talk to her because she doesn't like me and has said some very mean things to me. I am a little pissed off that she is choosing to pop again. She has had no contact with my kids for 6yrs. Hasn't sent any bday or christmas gifts/cards in that amount of time. I hate it that she continues to pop up whenever she feels like it. I want to send the gift card back to her but DH doesn't think we should. I was going to replace the money from the gift card so my son doesn't have to suffer for it. I don't want anything from her. I want her to just stay out of our lives. I am also pissed that instead of making contact with my husband she did it with my child that hasn't known her since he was 2 years old. Do you think I am over reacting? I will probably just let him keep the card but I think she is out of line. She chose to have things this way and keep them this way. I think she should stay out of or lives then not pop up whenever she feels the urge.
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Post by jessijo on Oct 11, 2011 10:54:19 GMT -6
I agree with sending the gift card back. No gifts means no gifts. If you keep this then she may see that as a sign and do more to get back into your lives. I'm happy that your husband has supported you in not having any contact with her either.
If you and your husband want to - maybe pick a place for just the two of you to meet with her and see what it is she wants - it is possible she has changed and wants to be a part of your lives - but she may also just want to be a pain in the neck and bother you too. Only you guys know what she's like!
It was pretty low to seek contact thru your child, knowing that a kid isn't going to want to give up a gift, no matter who it is from.
Good luck!
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Post by ReneeW on Oct 22, 2011 10:57:32 GMT -6
If she wants contact with your family, I would lay down some ground rules that she has to abide by in order to have a relationship with you. Of course that would include no hateful things said to you or about you, respecting boundaries, and whatever other rules you want to implement. If she agrees then you'll know if she's sincerely wanting to rebuild relationships, if not perhaps she just wants to be a thorn and get some negative attention.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Oct 25, 2011 8:57:23 GMT -6
So DH let him keep the card then we were in the store (I was planning on bringing him after dropping DS1 off at a friends) and DS1 got upset because he wanted one of something his brother was buying. And DH said just get it for him. How much is it? $10. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of not using our $10 (part of his excuse for not returning gf). Then I found out that is brother got peeved at her about something and was telling DH he is done. She hasn't seen him or his kids in two years and if she sends and gifts or anything he is sending them back. I feel so vindicated. I wish I would have put my foot down and just sent it back. I need to grow a fricken back-bone and make my own decisions final on this. Why should I be nice after the way she has treated me and my family!
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Post by jessijo on Oct 25, 2011 9:44:30 GMT -6
trust your instincts!
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Post by bumblebee23 on Oct 27, 2011 12:39:51 GMT -6
Dh's older brother is one she hasn't seen in two years and never really did much to begin with. He is the one that said any gifts or cards will be sent back. His younger brother was the one that was dropped off and brought the gf to the party.
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