Adjusting "Super Mom" Expectations

[ReneeW]

Hey Ladies, I just thought this was an interesting article about women's health -- it sounds like moms who put a lot of pressure on themselves to be "Super Moms" are at a higher risk for depression than other moms. Read more here:

health.msn.com/womens-health/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100279729

From what I can tell, stay-at-home moms have a higher risk of depression than working moms BUT working moms who think they should be able to "do it all" have the highest risk of all.

So I declare that we should all cut ourselves a break, not stress out about being "perfect" because that is impossible, and lower that self-pressure that we put on ourselves, ESPECIALLY with the holidays coming! Hear, hear!

[laurac]

Hear Hear!!!

I know I do! Well, I did. Especially when the kids were little. I thought I should be able to do it all and that I had to do it all. It was my job, I was home, the wife and it was my job to do everything. I sure wasn't much fun to be around! I had to realize that nobody cared if my house was clean except for me. Once I lightened up on myself I got along with me a lot better!

[bumblebee23]

Wow that is so true. I'm not 40 yet and I already have a history of depression but I stayed home with my boys for 2 yrs and I was really super depressed. I wanted to go back to work before I did but I felt guilty thinking what mom doesn't want to stay home with her kids. My mood improved greatly when I finally did start working. I needed time away from the house and around other adults. LOL

I also have a little bit of a hard time working and taking care of everything. I feel like things at home are being neglected because I am just to tired to worry about it and don't want to spend my weekends cleaning or doing this or that.

[apryllraye87]

I've struggled with depression since I was in 8th grade but I'm sure that trying to be "super mom" doesn't help.

As many of you know we live a VERY busy life and there are always things I feel guilty about not having time to do or take care of.

I pretty much just consider it the life I chose since I made the decision not to be safe and got pregnant at 18!

[deannemdm]

I have dealt with depression for several years. My mom is the only person that makes comments about my cleaning (she did it so why can't I?) I just told her that "I spend time with my kids instead of my house" She didn't get it, but the rationale helps me feel better about having a very messy and cluttered house. If you can't change the situation-- you can leave it (sometimes) or change how you feel about it/ attitude. I am fine with a messy house--- even if I am home all day---sometimes it gets to me, but usually I can deal with it. I just make sure to have adult contact in my schedule-- ECFE, karate (exercise-- sweat and screaming are great for stress) and have grad class one night a week. I visit with some regulars at Caribou when i can-- they are like honorary grandparents of DS. DD has sunday school a couple times a month and church has adult church education (on other religions, etc) during that time so more adult contact-- I thought I would go crazy being at home (and was when DD was little and downsized from job and had 3 months before I got another job), but lost job when DS was just over 9 months and really liking it now.

[jessijo]

I am trying to ask my hubby for more help with the kids. He loves to help, but sometimes feels like he's stepping on my toes. I am learning to give up some control and just ask him to give DD a bath or help DS with his homework. Less stress!