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Post by lilmermaid on Nov 17, 2011 16:42:03 GMT -6
At DD1s school this year they started a new rewards program with Otter Tags.(They look like military dog tags) There are different ones for things that the kiddos can earn. At the beginning of the school year everyone in the whole school got 1 for starting the school year.
Well today was the ceremony for the next round and guess what....DD1 didn't get one. She is devastated! Some of her friends even got 2 tags. She thinks she isn't doing well in school and that's why she didn't get one. Someone on the bus told her that too. I tried to tell her it's okay and she IS a GREAT student! Which is all true but of course she is still having a hard time. This was only for first quarter so she still has 3 more quarters to earn some.
I feel this type of reward system is horrible for some kids like my DD1. She is a great student but very sensitive! I don't want her to feel she isn't good enough, that's not something she should be worried about in second grade.
Any ideas of how else I can ease her pain and feeling like she isn't good enough?
I thought we could treat her to ice cream for a good conference, which is Monday. There is also a book she wants from the book fair that goes on during conferences.
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Post by deannemdm on Nov 17, 2011 16:46:35 GMT -6
I would talk to the school and see why this was started. Then explain how about your DD felt after ceremony. I would see if you can fid out what they give "tags" for and encourage her to do things that have a high chance of earning more.... maybe suggest that ceremony is less "in your face" and more sutble
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Post by ReneeW on Nov 17, 2011 17:02:04 GMT -6
Oh, poor sweetie. It is hard having a sensitive kid sometimes, even though it's nice in that they're usually gentle with other kids' feelings. One idea I had was to find out what they're supposed to learn in order to get the next Otter Tag and work with her to learn it. That way she has a goal, it's something you can do together, and next time she'll get the tag. You could also set personal goals at home with her. Like, if she reads X number of books she gets Y reward, if she helps out doing X chores or doing something else she gets recognition within the family.
Hang in there! It'll be fun to hear what other moms have to add for advice.
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Post by cakemakermom on Nov 17, 2011 17:48:16 GMT -6
Our school does "Puma Points" where kids get points for doing good things like performing at their best, making safe choices, having a positive attitude, including others, using the correct voice level. I'm kinda surprised the whole district hasn't started that. It helps the kids to be aware of how their behavior affects others.
It sounds like it's harder to get an otter tag than puma points, my kids are bringing home a point every other day or so from one or more of their teachers. Perhaps you could talk to the teachers and administration about how hard it is to get these tags and how it makes the kids who don't get the tags as quickly feel. Have them talk to the administartion at Parker to see how the point system has helped the kids learn how to help, not bully each other.
When the kids get a certain amount of puma points per classroom, they get a special treat- the Puma- to keep in their room until the next class earns him. There is also a "golden tray" award for best behavior in the lunchroom and a "golden vaccum" for cleanest classroom.
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Post by cissy on Nov 17, 2011 18:02:01 GMT -6
I am glad that is not happening at my childs school, I would not like that. I should ask how someone else likes it that goes to your school. I have no help in this situation, keep encouraging her, talk to someone in the school and find out how they are judging the kids to get the tags. Good Luck.
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Post by sharon on Nov 17, 2011 19:36:48 GMT -6
Yeah, I would ask what the criteria are and help them make a plan with her for how to get them. If they are going to do this, the goal should be attainable.
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Post by lilmermaid on Nov 17, 2011 19:47:12 GMT -6
They can get them for Math, Reading, Music, Art, PE, Being Responsible and I can't remember what else. I feel she has done the things she would need to get a tag! Apparently it was started due to parent input. I am not able to go to PTA meetings so I don't know if it was talked about there or what.
I like the points idea instead! Maybe then they could redeem their points for something from the school store or whatever else they could offer.
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Post by cakemakermom on Nov 17, 2011 22:06:38 GMT -6
The kindergartners get to pick something out of the bucket when they've filled up their points slip in the classroom. I don't know what the other grades get.
It wouldn't hurt to bring it up to the principal about the points system. They can ask Parker how they do it. I'm still surprised that doesn't go district wide. It's kinda like the points system in Harry Potter, but they don't get them taken away, just rewarded. Slips are in every classroom and the hallways for easy access for the teachers/administrators to hand out.
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Post by lilmermaid on Nov 18, 2011 8:01:29 GMT -6
Very neat Cake! I talked to another mom who had the same issue with her DD and she knows the Parker system. We as parents were never given ANY info about this new rewards system just that they were starting it. I will be calling the school today but I'm ready to tell DD1 to ignore the tags. I would rather reward her with something from home than those anyways!
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Post by deannemdm on Nov 18, 2011 8:49:18 GMT -6
The school needs to realize that if tags are too hard, some kids will not bother to try and will then play them down and re-name "nerd" tags or something making the tags counterproductive. The school needs to make them more easily achieveable.
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Post by lilmermaid on Nov 18, 2011 9:51:48 GMT -6
Talked to the principal this morning and got the scoop. I'm still not happy but nothing will change. I think they need to make it visible to the kids. Let them see how they are progressing toward a tag. The staff have criteria they look at for giving a tag but that doesn't help the students.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Nov 18, 2011 11:56:39 GMT -6
I really don't like that idea and so glad I don't have to deal with anything like this at the boys school. The do do honor roll even for the younger kids. Ever class chooses two students a quarter and my youngest gets it once a year usually. This really upsets my older boy especially when he already feels he isn't doing good in school because he has a hard time with reading and things are a lot harder for him. I have to re-assure him to just continue to work hard and do the best he can and one day he will be able to get an honor roll too!
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Post by lilmermaid on Nov 18, 2011 13:26:05 GMT -6
One of the other parents worded it perfectly and she plans on letting the principal know her feelings too! Here is what she said: With over 800 students at TLES and nearly half of them being very young, that would mean that most of them are probably unable to clearly understand this program and the reasons for it no matter how it is explained to them or by whom. I just cannot understand how thoroughly explaining the tag system to a small percentage of parents at a PTO meeting seemed sufficient to the school. In my opinion, that decision was not appropriate. My 2nd grader, as well as most young grade schoolers, is not quite developmentally able to fully understand this abstract tag system for the very basic reason that she developmentally thinks about things concretely. Therefore, the tag reward system for working hard to improve at school is completely overshadowed by the simple fact that she can't understand that it is not a competition between the students themselves. She thinks that if you got 4 tags and I only got 1, that she is not as smart or as good at school as the other student and it makes her sad.
My daughter is also VERY sensitive. She is also still unable to clearly explain to me what is going on at school. Therefore, I had no way of knowing how to prepare her for earning tags or how to think about it if she did not earn them. If had I known exactly what my student would have needed to do, I could have helped prepare her. She hears that she still has chances to earn tags each quarter, but emotionally she is comparing herself to those who earned more which, again, overshadows the point of this system.
Maybe reserving the system for the older kids or not having the ceremony in front of the whole school could make the system make more sense to the students?
I plan on talking to her teacher at conferences and maybe making a suggestion for the points system to her and the principal.
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Post by kristin8888 on Nov 18, 2011 13:34:23 GMT -6
When I was in elementary school we had a "caught being good" system. All teachers had red slips to hand out to students when they were caught being good; helping another student, being polite, holdings doors open, and I'm sure there were tons of other things we could earn them for. At the end of the day, whoever got a red slip got to turn it into the office and your name would be entered into a drawing. Every other Friday the office would randomly draw a bunch of names and if your name was called you could go up to the office and get a prize. Prizes were items like magnets, pencils, kids cups all with our school name on them.
We loved this system!
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Post by cakemakermom on Nov 18, 2011 13:57:51 GMT -6
I think the tag system could work if the kids saw the progress toward each tag earned. What I dislike about what you've said about the program is that the tags are recieved at a big ceremony. That just shows the kids that are having a harder time earning the tags how many more some other kids are earning. It creates a bigger distance between those who struggle daily and those who have a really easy time at school. Perhaps they could get stickers on a sheet that showed progress toward each goal?
I've always hated prizes given out at big ceremonies. I still remember one elementary thing I was at, we had a reading program where you earn prizes for reading, but one time I actually had read the most out of the whole school, but still didn't get anything at the ceremony for it. I got to stand up... big deal... they picked names out of a hat to see who would win the prizes. It felt like I had read all that for nothing. (Fortunately I still love to read, but it certanly didn't help my self-esteem at the time.)
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