Separation Anxiety in Children

[ugirl]

Hello. I'm new-ish to this board. I used to read MLM but never posted. I now have a blog and would like some mommy advice on a recent post.

Panic! At the Preschool

Sometimes it seems wrong that you can't give a 4 year old Xanax.
If my saying that makes you question our relationship, I get it.
That's cool.
But you're not Gigi's mom.
And at least one of us should be medicated for our daily drops at preschool.
It all starts out so well. We skip happily through the halls. We sign in. We put our show-and-share in the box.
We're good.
And, then, BAM.
The sobbing, the vice grip on my neck, the "PLEEEAAASSSEEEE, MAMMMAAA! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

(read more at my blog)
urbangirlinterrupted.blogspot.com/


Thanks for the input, in advance.
Ali of Duluth

[AuntSueto4]

WELCOME TO MOM (Moms of Minnesota)!!! I'm glad you found us on this new site.

[[hhuuggss]] to you and your dd. I'm sorry that this is happening in your family. Separation anxiety is hard. Hoping some others will post too.

[betherin]

Hi! I don't have any magical suggestions since my DS also has separation anxiety. Someone just told us to buy the book "The Kissing Hand", so we're going to give that a try.

[CindyChapman]

Hi ugirl!
Welcome to MOMs and thanks for posting...I did have quite a few chuckles reading your post (totally related) and I love your blog.

ugirl and I spent several years working together at KARE 11 News! Oh, those were the days!! She's amazing writer and wonderful mom!

Can't wait to read more!!!!

[ugirl]

We have The Kissing Hand, which was great for my DS who never had SA issues. It does nothing for my girl.
But, this process she goes through is her routine. And I think it's better this way. I'm watching her for cues and waiting for her to move beyond it.
Here's what I think: crying is a coping mechanism she uses to bridge the gap when I leave. It helps her. When my husband took away that tool (or tried to) she grew even more panicky because she suddenly had nothing to fall back on. I don't tell her she can't cry. In fact, I make a point not to tell her that. If she needs to do it, then she should.
Is that a good thing or am I way off base?

Thanks for the welcomes.

[deannemdm]

Validate her emotions-- try I under stand you are feeling scared, afraid, angry, etc, you can cry if you need to, or I can give/teach you other ways to deal with the feelings

[ReneeW]

Separation anxiety sucks, but it shall pass. I think you just have to be consistent, calm, and have "quick getaways" without sneaking away from your kiddo. Books about it are a good idea too.

[ugirl]

So true. The sneaking away idea is something people have encouraged. But I think it's such a betrayal of trust. I always say goodbye, hug, kiss, then pass her to her most trusted teacher. It's hard for everyone but thankfully I have so much support at Gigi's school. I will look for other books. Any suggestions?