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Post by jlschlangen on Nov 22, 2011 9:05:53 GMT -6
I think I may have gotten myself into a pickle again...What I mean is: we are trying to cut costs somehow b/c we are very low on the money front. So my dh wanted me to talk to my sister and let her know that we wnated to stop giving gifts at holiday time after this year to any kids that weren't godchildren. Now she doesn't want us to give to any of her kids (she has 3). One dh's side we only give to godchildren. There is a total of 9 nieces/nephews on dh's side. On my side there is a total of 3 nieces/nephews.
Yes, I do know holidays you spend money. I am well aware of that. Lately I am jealous of those who have money.
What do you do or what would you do?
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Post by lilmermaid on Nov 22, 2011 9:28:38 GMT -6
We swap names on my side. There are 6 so each one pairs up to buy for the other one. We also set a limit of how much we spend.
On DHs side there is a huge age gap so it's usually just cash.
For both families we don't buy for our brothers or sisters, just the kids.
I would say if any of your nieces or nephews are also your Godchild don't buy for them either. It's not fair to buy for one since they will all see that you only bought for one of them. They don't see it as you are the Godparent, they see you didn't buy for them. This could be why your sister doesn't want you to buy for any of them.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Nov 22, 2011 9:30:26 GMT -6
We usually buy for about 12 kids too. I don't think buying gifts for the god children only is a good idea especially if that child has siblings. The other children would feel left out and sad for not receiving anything when there brother/sister did.
This year I have informed the parents of the kids we usually buy for that we just can't afford to get gifts for the kids this year. I am having a hard time figuring out how to get gifts for my boys. I have even started applying for a second job. They all understood and aren't holding it against us. Even one of the moms said that we should just stop exchanging presents and just get together for dinner and games sometime around the holidays and leave it at that. They aren't family but really close friends and we have always gotten together and exhanged presents with the kids. Now I just cut out 4 kids off my list that I don't have to buy for anymore.
Also a thing that worked for me last year that I wasn't able to do is. When it came times for all the kids bday parties I would buy one gift for the bday party and one gift to set aside for xmas. If I had a little extra money I would go through clearance isles in walmart, target, and toys r us and find gifts on sale to be set aside for xmas. I had a list of all the kids and the ages and when I bought something for them I would write it on the list to make sure I had everyones and wasn't buying two gifts for one and none for another. This worked great because by the time Thanksgiving hit I was totally done shopping for the other kids and just had to buy gifts for my boys!
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Post by jlschlangen on Nov 22, 2011 9:30:39 GMT -6
I guess I am going to have to dh about this again.
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Post by deannemdm on Nov 22, 2011 9:58:16 GMT -6
What we have started doing at my grandparents (while they were still alive) is everyone brought a white elephant gift (neutral or male or female) then do a dice game of some sort. Maybe something like that for the kids each kid brings a newer or gently used item and they play a game to see who gets something--- maybe homemade? or tired of toy? etc.. Usually there is a price limit-- for the adults, there is a gag type (s) of gift-- something that keeps showing up year after year. Maybe even a movie exchange for the kids?
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Post by fungirls on Nov 22, 2011 10:29:37 GMT -6
I have started buying a smaller/cheaper gift for each child (we have 8 nieces & nephews) and giving it to them from my DD's. That way it is from their cousins, and with my kids' names in the "from" line I don't feel it has to be anything big. Also once they turn 18 they don't get a gift any more.
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Post by sarahisis on Nov 22, 2011 10:39:57 GMT -6
kids love books.. give a five or ten dollar gift card to each kid...
I wouldn't just give to one kid just because he/she is a godchild.. not fair. Maybe an IOU for each kid to use throughout the year to come play at your house, rent a movie and have popcorn...
make something. for the "whole family" sister,husband and their kids... maybe some chocolate covered pretzles and some cookies. Were baking this year.. I'm not sending gifts to everyone.. just my niece in fl. (shes the only one)
and my goddaughter and her twin sister ( I just do something little for them usually.. gift card or soemthing)
as far as aunts, cousins, and my siblings... I bake, and I send... and I send an updated picture of ds as well.
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Post by deannemdm on Nov 22, 2011 10:48:22 GMT -6
try a DVD (or book) exchange-- everyone wrap it and play dice game or something-- it doesn't cost anything and the kids all get something
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Post by bunsy on Nov 22, 2011 10:48:26 GMT -6
I have experienced the "only give to the godchildren" method and it caused many hurt feelings with my kids. Little kids don't understand that AND they don't care. BIL insisted that this is what he was going to do. Ds1 was his godchild. The twins were heartbroken that their uncle didn't give them anything. I told him to take the money he was going to spend on ds1 and divide in 3 and get each kid something. They would be happy with their own can of Pringles or box of cookies. It does NOT have to be expensive. My kids anyway just want to be acknowledged.
If cost is an issue, I would prefer drawing names and everyone just buying one gift rather than picking and choosing. I think it hurts kids' feelings.
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Post by cissy on Nov 22, 2011 10:55:39 GMT -6
We exchange names for us older kids, for the neices and nephews we buy for all of them, well there are only 4 maybe 5 so its not too bad. Now the price of it, would be nice if it was less (my sister sets the price limits) so I try to find things that are on sale that are of more value so I still spend less.
Shop clearance, shop discount stores, exchange names, or pay less for the items. I have found that kids like to open the presents up and I know that if we were at an event and my 5 yr old didn't get something and someone else did he would probably start crying. They do not understand the whole godchild thing, it would be why did they get something and I didn't.
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Post by apryllraye87 on Nov 22, 2011 11:06:40 GMT -6
We play the dice game for adults and we draw names for the young children.
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Post by sarahisis on Nov 22, 2011 11:33:50 GMT -6
something else we used to do for all the younger kids that lived under one roof... we'd buy them a board game or party game they could share... spend 25 dollars on a good game that can be played by the whole fam.. awesome.
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Post by dara1012 on Nov 22, 2011 17:26:45 GMT -6
We only have a niece and nephew so we buy for them....but for the great grandkids on DH's side each kid gets one name....that way he kid gives a gift and gets a gift and the limit is $20.
My niece is my godchild....I will not just buy for her and not her brother. I am their aunt and won't play favorites.
I like Isis' idea of a game for all....otherwise exchanging names.
Christmas is about family, not gifts. Your family should understand if you can't afford gifts, it is nothing to be ashamed of.
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Post by jrose on Nov 22, 2011 17:34:54 GMT -6
Growing up each kid would draw a name....we have a HUGE family so it's what worked out the best.
I agree with dara though Christmas is about family and not gifts! They should understand if you aren't able to afford it.
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