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Post by deannemdm on Jan 17, 2012 10:28:17 GMT -6
Here's the link to story on yahoo! I hope it works-- or try cut and paste-- haven't done this before
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Jan 17, 2012 10:29:52 GMT -6
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Post by deannemdm on Jan 17, 2012 10:31:31 GMT -6
oops-- I cut it and forgot to paste--
Thanks for catching that Amy
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Post by irish on Jan 17, 2012 10:39:33 GMT -6
Great article, thanks for sharing!
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Post by nevaehsmom327 on Jan 17, 2012 10:53:50 GMT -6
I thought it was a great article too. Makes some really good arguments!
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Post by deannemdm on Jan 17, 2012 10:56:23 GMT -6
I fully agree Amy-- I like the one about the intentionality about becoming parents-- hard to be accidental-- didn't realize that 50% of pregnancies are--- although I think I had heard that before.
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Post by bumblebee23 on Jan 17, 2012 12:38:45 GMT -6
Great article and I love how they talk about opening the pool of prospective adoptive parents! If there are that many children in the foster care system and there is a solution staring you right in the face why not give those children a save, loving family to be with!
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Post by deannemdm on Jan 17, 2012 15:18:35 GMT -6
agreed
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Post by sharon on Jan 17, 2012 19:18:38 GMT -6
How funny to come home and find a whole thread about GLBT parents that I didn't start!
Thank you. I had not seen that article yet, although I'm familiar with much of the research it cites. The part that has often resonated with me the most is the part about how we help our kids to feel more free to not be limited by gender stereotypes. I'm glad of that and sometimes so happy for my son that he landed in a family where there isn't anyone telling him not to be himself.
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Post by dara1012 on Jan 18, 2012 22:07:11 GMT -6
Thanks for posting this article.
More people need to begin to understand that the studies showing that children do better when their parents are married than being raised by a single parent doesn't really have anything to do with having a dad and a mom, but more has to do with having two loving parents.
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Post by sharon on Jan 18, 2012 22:28:10 GMT -6
One thing that struck me that I don't think was really accurate was the bit about two mom families sometimes having an imbalance because the biomom feels closer to the child than the non-biomom.
I would say that it is not the status bio vs. non but rather that the law and society undermine the fair treatment of the family and of both parents. There is a sad awful LONG list of court cases where a child loses one mom in a split or divorce because the non-biomom is not given legal status as the parent she is. In many states the child can't get an accurate birth certificate in the first place, so when things go wrong the child doesn't have the protection of having both parents listed. And in most states the child's parents can't get marriage license and the protections that affords a family, even if they divorce.
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Post by dara1012 on Jan 18, 2012 23:00:33 GMT -6
Good point Sharon.
Unfortunately there is so much injustice when it comes to our laws and how they affect homosexual relationships, I pray that some day in the not-so-distant future that this will not be a concern for any family. The legal hoops your family had to go through to make your son "yours" for both of you is unfair and discriminatory. He is fortunate to have two moms who love him and each other and that is something that the law cannot take away.
I find it interesting though that they would make the argument that the article that the biological mom would be closer because that would be like stating for heterosexual parents, "Children are closer to their moms than their dads because the mom gave birth and may (or may not have) breastfed" or for adoptive parents that "Children do not develop the same closeness to their adoptive moms as their biological moms because they did not give birth to them or breastfeed them". These statements are ridiculous and most people would see them as such. Relationships grow and change over time and the love I feel for my mom and my dad is not something I can measure. I don't believe my dad loved me any less than my mom because he didn't give birth to me.
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Post by sharon on Jan 19, 2012 5:05:12 GMT -6
Agreed. I found it interesting how even in such a positive article, that homophobia and heterosexism was still there - as you said, they would not have made that same assumption about parent/child relationships in het families, whatever the situation or configuration.
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Post by deannemdm on Jan 19, 2012 7:41:05 GMT -6
I wonder how the law would look at it if one mom provided the egg and the other gave birth (in vitro)? Then both moms could make a legal claim for the child being "theirs" if the law does not recognize love and commitment and dedication to the child as proof of being "real" mom
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Post by sharon on Jan 19, 2012 12:03:41 GMT -6
It's been done. My understanding is that just like in Jewish law, what matters in secular law is what uterus the child comes out of in this case. Absent a marriage license for the parents, or an accurate birth certificate, the law would view the non-biomom as an "egg donor," with no parental rights.
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