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Post by angel22 on Oct 14, 2011 13:47:22 GMT -6
HELP! My teenage neighbor girl wants to be a boy. I've known it since the first time I met her 7 years ago but now she is really showing it to everyone. Her friends are very accepting of her and they all love playing "games" about how many people they convince that she is really a he. She hasn't seemed to have any problems at school since she came out as a lesbian, so that's great for her.
The problem is that her family is in denial about it. I like her parents as neighbors but I despise them as parents to this girl. I want to be there for her, I want to help her in any way I can. I want her to know that not all adults around her think this is a phase (something she'll outgrow or a form of rebelion.) She has never hid her feelings to me- I'm the first adult (the only one, maybe?) that she told about her crushes on girls at school and about asking two of them out. I've heard her mention things in front of her parents and siblings but they always just roll their eyes and change the subject. I've tried talking to her dad about it and he just says, "Not under my roof she's not!" I feel so bad for this girl that she isn't getting the family support that she needs! What else can I do to help her?
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Post by jessijo on Oct 14, 2011 13:57:50 GMT -6
That's a tough one. Too bad her parents aren't trying to be supportive of her - I'm sure it hasn't been an easy path for her. She is lucky to have you and, it sounds like, some good friends to be a support system for her. Just keep letting her know that you are there for her to talk about anything. Sounds like she could use an understanding ear. I don't know if there is much you can do about the family - they will believe what they believe. Hopefully someday they will get their heads out of the sand and see their daughter for who she really is and love her no matter what.
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Post by bunsy on Oct 14, 2011 15:52:30 GMT -6
You're doing it. Be there. Listen. Acknowledge her feelings.
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Post by Sus on Oct 14, 2011 17:16:18 GMT -6
You're doing it. Be there. Listen. Acknowledge her feelings. yup... |
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Post by sharon on Oct 14, 2011 18:27:14 GMT -6
I would say that you are doing a lot by supporting her. She is lucky to have her and honestly you may be saving her life. GLBT kids in homophobic environments have a real risk of suicide. I think mentioning adult friends who are GLBT is helpful and you can feel free to mention me. If she doesn't know other out GLBT folk, she may not really have a concept of what her future may hold. I think explicitly saying that you worry about her sometimes and hope she is getting enough support can be helpful. Knowing that you are concerned about her and she can come to you can make a big difference. "The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. If you or a young LGBTQ person you care about is experiencing a crisis, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386. The call is free and confidential." I wouldn't want you to put the idea in her head, but maybe just have that number handy in case she ever really needs emergency support. How old is she? Does she go online? There is a lot of good support on the internet, if you go to the right sites. www.dist202.org/ is the website for District 202, which is a GLBT youth support organization in Minneapolis. Also, you could ask her if her school has a GSA. Just asking would let her know they exist, even if there isn't one there. She is really lucky to be living by you. |
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Post by angel22 on Oct 17, 2011 16:28:17 GMT -6
Thank you for the links and numbers, Sharon, I will keep those handy! The girl is 16, by the way.
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Post by Sus on Oct 17, 2011 16:44:18 GMT -6
I would say that you are doing a lot by supporting her. She is lucky to have her and honestly you may be saving her life. GLBT kids in homophobic environments have a real risk of suicide. Knowing that you are concerned about her and she can come to you can make a big difference. " She is really lucky to be living by you. AMEN!!!!! You may never know the positive affect you have already had on this young woman. You are a very approachable person and she no doubt can feel that! I know Elizabeth has mentioned that she knows she could always go to you for advice, Ang!!!! Great input Sharon! As Always! |
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